Stage 5 Clinger

Clinger Text

"You never call me anymore." He said. "Yes I do!" "Um no, you don't. It's Wednesday and you haven't called to bug me at work all week?" So, two things. One, he apparently only pretends to be annoyed with me, which only confirms my theory that my exasperating personality is a large part of my sex appeal. And two, I don't need to compulsively connect with my husband anymore. Now, before you get all Dr. Phil on my relationship and whisper about marital troubles or divorce, listen to me. … [Read More...]

A bit of a rambler at 3am.

A road in the middle of nowhere. 3:30am. Officer: License and registration ma'am. Me: Ma'am? (Ok, apparently I look like an old ma'am when I wear my glasses, no bra and dirty sweatpants) Here. Officer: Have you been drinking this evening? Me: Um...I'm pregnant. Officer: ... Me: … [Read More...]

Holy Mother!

Ok, first things first. I got a flu shot today. First one ever. See. Totally hurts. Have no mobility in my arm. Plus, they put a bandaid on it, which seems silly to me. Now I have to relive the pain when I pull the little bastard off. Not that I am hairy or anything, but come on, a … [Read More...]

Steak with Ice Cream Sauce

Ok, so when I heard about this little gem the other day, I just had to try it, as I live by a rule of trying recipes that not only sound vomit inducing, but attempt to mix ridiculous sounding sweet things, with the savory dishes I love so much. This is just that kind of recipe. Steak, … [Read More...]

Stink

I love sauerkraut.   Can't get enough of it.   My first pregnancy, my favorite meal was a baked potato covered in fajita steak strips, A1 sauce and sauerkraut.   Yuuuuummmm.   Even now, it's all I think about. Like that slutty cheerleader fantasy from American … [Read More...]

Women’s Intuition

You know those girls? The ones you see when you are in line for a movie, or out to dinner, or at a birthday party of some college friend you barely talk to anymore. You can always hear them come in, super loud and giggly, and always ultra shiny and glossed up. You know who they are. You've … [Read More...]

Rubber boots beyond this point

So much good news going around.Our new President-Elect, who fills me with hope, pride and excitement. A growing baby inside me that fills me with...well...mostly gas and food, but there is some joy mixed in, too. And our local radio station is already alive with Christmas music, my favorite!And … [Read More...]

Not an election post

Psych.This is totally an election post, get off your ass and go vote.I don't care how long the lines are.I don't care how much other shit you have to do today.This is more important.This is for my kids, my husband's job, the home I live in, the health I have, my friends in Iraq who miss their … [Read More...]

Halloween, the morning after

How do I know it was a good night? I woke up this morning with what looked like a a piece of poop in my bra, but in reality, was a chunk of Twix bar from the 20 I had devoured over the course of last night. That's how I measure success these days, by how many random objects I find stuck to my … [Read More...]

Trippy

I am home. We are home. Everyone is home...even that skanky sippy cup full of milk I left on the counter before we left, it's here too. On the plus side, I am relieved to still have the freedom to roam around my house, not addressing the stinking sippy of rotting whole milk, as 8ish days in … [Read More...]

Home!

Thank. Fucking. God. 2 day car trip...both ways? Never again. I completely plan to write something of relevance tomorrow morning, but tonight I must address more pressing matters, like regaining the feeling in my ass, and reminding my husband we so aren't doing it tonight...for reasons … [Read More...]