What I Really Say To Your Husband

Ladies, your husbands are emailing me. Repeatedly. You may or may not have any idea this is happening. It's probably while you're in the shower, or after you go to bed. Or maybe when you think they're texting a co-worker on the couch, or in the bathroom on their iPads. … [Read More...]

Easily distracted…by tacos.

1.  Yay Lent! First of all, I love that I can pretend Fat Tuesday is completely different than, say, every other day of the year that I eat waaay more than I should, but could care less.  I guess the only real difference is, that on Fat Tuesday, I am doing it for Jesus.  So,  that makes it more … [Read More...]

Outlook so so.

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I have been stuck in my glasses for days.  My left eye is either dying or is thisclose to falling out. I googled things like seeping, and painful and yucky as hell...and from what I read, I have a sty.  In my eye. Which makes perfect sense because I am always doing things like storing my … [Read More...]

Oh my God, that Brittany, shameless.

Saturday.  Sabato.  Zaterdag.  Samedi. The day I literally plan to spend doing nothing but eating hot wings and drinking Coke.  All day.  Without any pants on. Because pants just slow you down. Plus, it's snowing.  Again.  And, the only pants that go with snow, are snow pants.  And, they … [Read More...]

Portobello Mushroom Penne Pasta

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I actually had somebody email me for a recipe. Because, apparently, I'm a food blog. So recipes are supposed to be here. *snore* Ok, let's see. Portobello Mushroom and Spinach Penne Pasta.  It's hearty, cheesey and pretty much guarantees you will be licking the casserole dish clean.  … [Read More...]

la mamá

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Ok, seriously...how much longer can a human pregnancy last!?  Please tell me I am glowing, 'cause I am totally glowing, right? So, the other night we went out on a date to a local Mexican restaurant, and at the table next to us was this hot mess of a baby.  Just rice, beans and smooshed chips all … [Read More...]

When there are no words.

Valentines Day.  Done. I awoke to find a card and a single rose shoved into an empty Diet Coke can on the counter. I think the fact that my husband can look me in the eyes and kiss me, even though I totally smell, haven't shaved my armpits in days, and waddle around holding an ice bag to my … [Read More...]

The giveaway you won’t need a safe word for!

First off, how about the new digs?  Pretty hot, huh? Endless thanks to Shauna from Blog & Web Designs by Shauna.  She is amazing, a complete lifesaver, and has the patience of a fucking saint! She is the sole reason I was brave enough to put on my internet big girl panties and make the … [Read More...]

Signs of the Apocalypse.

Oh man. I should have known I was in for a bad run when Tatiana Del Toro made it into the Top 36 last night, a blur of fuchsia lipstick, runny mascara, a hyena laugh, and sausage arms. Plus, I noticed that my stairs have started creaking every time I ran up them yesterday. Big fat cow? … [Read More...]

Sweet Cheeks

Ok, this is a total Valentines Day must for me, ever since my gorgeous friend Jen introduced the concept to me, I have been hooked, and have whipped them up ever since. Because what is sexier on Valentines Day than eating some hot ass cookies!? Nothing. Anywasted, they are an absolute blast … [Read More...]

And enough.

In March of 2005, I lost one of my dearest friends. My cooking buddy. My business partner. A girl who stood up for me on my wedding day, and spent the night before stuffed into bed with me as we giggled about weddings and babies and boys. She was an artist, a singer, and my brother's fiance. She … [Read More...]