Ground Control to Major Tom

July 6, 2008

Sick of the obscure song references yet? So, here’s the deal. This is what I woke up looking like this morning. Besides the fact that I am becoming painfully self conscious that one eye is clearly bigger than the other, and my one eyebrow is always arched higher than the other one, and I need […]

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Happy 5th of July!

July 5, 2008

The 5th of July is often overshadowed by the much hyped 4th, but the 5th is where the party is. See, independence may have been declared on the 4th, but that was mostly a day of paperwork and bureaucracy, now the 5th, that was the day for the booze and prostitutes. So, being the stickler […]

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When things go painfully wrong.

July 1, 2008

I don’t want to worry anyone, but…I am pretty sure my eyebrows are going to fall off. I spent a few hours at the salon today getting my hair colored. I don’t want this to come as a shock to any of you, but I am actually not a natural blond, so unfortunately, a monthly […]

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You say tomato, I say I want 5 more kids.

July 1, 2008

Yesterday, we had the talk. We were driving home from the BMV, and I waited until the boys were cute and asleep in their seats, and after I had sufficiently gushed about how absolutely sexy his new drivers license picture was. It’s no secret I want another child. I grew up with just a brother, […]

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Random midday thoughts…

June 30, 2008

1. I am debating joining a gym, the only one somewhat near me is Curves. However, I have a few doubts. One, I am pretty sure I heard somewhere that the owners of Curves secretly shovel money to radical conservative pro-life groups. Two, the only women I see go in there wear sweatshirts with puffy […]

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When life jumps the shark…

June 30, 2008

This morning I woke up in a pool of my own sweat, totally nauseous, with a throbbing headache. When I finally was able to get to my feet without throwing up, I saw that the air conditioner was spewing warm air into our room. Me: Oh my God hunny, wake up, the air conditioner is […]

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Weekend Wrap Up

June 29, 2008

1. YOU CAN’T KEEP A PLAYER DOWNI have s special place in my heart for video stores. My parents owned one for a bit growing up, so I have many a fond memory of nights at the store eating popcorn and watching Howard the Duck (freakiest avian related movie ever. I couldn’t sleep for a […]

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In sickness and in health…

June 27, 2008

Medical emergency! Medical emergency! I think my husband is going blind! BLIND! It’s weird, because he hasn’t really complained of vision problems, and he was playing video games all afternoon. Tsk, tsk, poor guy. He probably doesn’t want to worry or upset me, meanwhile, he is secretly freaking out on the inside. He is so […]

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Even Wonder Woman hurts sometimes.

June 26, 2008

This is the part of my blog where I use humor to make light of semi-serious situations because my coping mechanisms are in the shitter, and the shitter’s full. As always, wild inappropriateness is my go to drug. Today was my very first day of therapy. Yes, my turn as a tortured, starving artist has […]

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The facts of (my) life.

June 24, 2008

1. There are two types of people in this world. The people who put little marshmallows in fruit salad, and the people who don’t. I don’t. 2. I have decided I need a boob job. When I lay on my back they fall to the sides and I am as flat as a 12 year […]

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