“Ma! Derf een moof. DERF EEN MOOF!” Translation: “Mommy, don’t look now, but there is literally two fist fulls of dirt and other organic material in my mouth. Probably a bug or two as well. And I am eating it. Would you like to eat some too?” Gee’s, while it looks yummy sweetie, mommy is [...]

Listen, guy across the street, I am just as excited that it is spring time as you are. Hell, I am down right giddy about it. But, the thing is, man…your shorts. They are really short. I don’t fancy myself a fashion maven, nor do I wish to dictate what people wear in the privacy [...]

Since when did I start giving off the vibe that says “hey, I am a nice complete stranger, please leave your unattended children with me, and I will watch over and nurture them until you return?” I don’t think I look overly friendly. I mean, I don’t look like a pedophile, but I have been [...]

Did you know I gave birth to my youngest boy a year ago today, Friday the 13th, with a midnight marathon of The Office on TBS playing in the background? This explains why he always says “That’s what she said” when I tell him to stop touching his pee pee. Anyways, this also marks the [...]