Weekend Wrap Up

August 3, 2008

This summer is really testing my deodorant. Like, to the limits. And the grossest part is…I am now kinda starting to like smelling all man gross. It totally reminds me of being on a train in Europe visiting my relatives, and everyone smells like body odor and gin…and it smells like…home. I could just sit […]

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Where’s my wingman?

July 31, 2008

Ok, who was in charge of stopping me from cutting my bangs on a whim…at 3am…after 3 glasses of wine…when it’s 500 degrees out? I am pretty sure if was fucking you. Don’t you remember the last time this happened? I was all, Duuude…it’s sooo hot, I’m going to cut my hair off like Natalie […]

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Boy Parts

July 29, 2008

In the spirit of potty training, I have decided that the toddler needs to accompany his daddy to all at home peeings. I mean, he needs to see this whole thing go down in person, not just mommy freaking him out with my fake hot dog wiener lecture series. It’s creepy. For both of us. […]

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The Feminine Mystique

July 28, 2008

Ok folks, here is the post where I destroy any image you have of me that is dainty, demure and lady like. Usually, I make this Sunday evening post, chronically all the random events of my weekend. I type it up after everyone else is in bed so I can watch old Monty Python DVDs […]

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Running (er briskly walking) with the devil

July 25, 2008

I fee like I have gotten fat. That’s because you have. Seriously! You’ve noticed?  Noticed what? That you can’t fit into anything, your arms have bat wings, and you have been secretly photoshopping your double chin out of the 4th of July picnic pictures? Um, yeah, I’ve noticed. Wow, I appreciate your candor. I guess […]

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Proof I have a problem

July 24, 2008

Ok, here is the deal. I had a coke tonight, thus breaking my 14 month long soda free existence. I suck and I don’t want to talk about it…which means I totally will, but not until tomorrow-ish. I do feel ashamed about the whole thing, but not as ashamed as I am of ABC. I […]

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Open letter to the guy who peed on my leg on my 21st birthday

July 24, 2008

Hey fella, You know, you were a pretty desirable guy back in high school. Good looking. Great car. As I recall, you were a bit of a ladies man back then. So, imagine my shock when I saw you at the bar we all went to to celebrate my 21st birthday. And, imagine my even […]

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Dropping the ball(s)

July 23, 2008

So, what are you lambs up today? Me? Oh, well we spent the day eating chocolate and sipping frozen yummies in a toddler pool on a play date with a friend and her 3 and 7 year old sons. I decided to spice thing up a bit by bringing along the bathtub crayons. We drew […]

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Unbelievable Mustard Chicken

July 23, 2008

This is my typical summer behavior. I buy a giant bag of frozen chicken breasts. I toss them by groups of four, into gallon size zip lock bags. I gather 4-5 marinades, dumping one  in each bag. Seal, smoosh around. Put all the bags in a plastic grocery bag to combat any renegade leaks. Let […]

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Pubic Enemy Number One

July 21, 2008

I am a pretty level headed person, most things don’t get to me. That statement is not true. Actually, I think I have the most un-level head one can have. Both figuratively and literally…hats have never sat quite right on my head, seems things slant a bit to the right. Anyways. In truth, most things […]

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