Raising Geeks

geek

Growing up, I wanted to have two kids. A boy named Josh and a girl named Mercedes. Josh would naturally be the big man on campus, and when I say that, imagine me saying it the way your grandmother says it when she asks you about school. "How's school, Josh? I assume you're the big man on campus like your father?" Josh's father in this scenario being Dr. Peter Venkman or Jonathon Brandis. Mercedes would be a popular genius/cheerleader. She'd be involved in dance and gymnastics and all … [Read More...]

Last Call Brittany Season 1 Round-Up

With Season 2 starting up ASAP, I totally fell into a YouTube worm hole reliving all Season 1's HILARIOUS episodes. Episode 1: Brazillian Waxes and Girl Talk Episode 2: Spanx & Skinny Jeans Episode 3: Working Girls Episode 4: Sex & Dirty Books with Tiffany Reisz Episode 5: … [Read More...]

The Evolution of Swimsuit Confidence

Evolution of Swimsuit Confidence

So Friday I did my own personal equivalent of the polar bear plunge, and put up the yearly photo of me in a bathing suit, nay.. a bikini, and it's become one of my favorite traditions. It's like a starter gun to my spring/summer self esteem, which needs to top off at a higher level than my … [Read More...]

Fat Girls in Bikinis… We’re Just Like You!

Polka Dot Bikini

We love the sun. We love the water. We sometimes forget to shave that one strip on the back of our legs. And we worry like hell about what the other women at the beach think of us, because the honest to God truth is, forget the men, we judge each other the hardest.  There are entire … [Read More...]

Riding In Cars With Kids

My First Car

I've been having car issues. Mechanically, my SUV was cherry. Logistically I wanted to light it on fire and push it into the pond. The problem is that I have three children in car seats on a single bench seat. So what, you ask? Oh, you've never put a condom on a dude then tried to shove his balls … [Read More...]

The Beauty of Entitlement

the love moments

Yesterday was not a pretty day. I was not feeling it. I was not feeling it at all. I was getting ready for an event and none of my clothes were agreeing with me. Mountains of them all over the closet in protest. Big fucking piles of nope. And since I've been riding high on the lady emotion train, … [Read More...]

Pink Eyes Are The Prettiest Eyes

Someone just come over and put this damn Lunette menstrual cup inside me correctly. I don't have the will to figure it out, internet, I just don't. I tried youtube'ing it, but almost no one has a legitimate menstrual cup insertion video. They all puss out using champagne glasses or diagrams of the … [Read More...]

Happy Boobs

Bra Conversion Chart

Two days ago we went to the Sing-Along version of Frozen, because we still have money left in our retirement account and haven't yet fulfilled our apparent moral obligation to continuously bolster the box office success of this cartoon. I had just finished the reprise of For The First Time in … [Read More...]

Snowed In With Nothing But Coconut Love

Coconut Oil Hair Results

We've basically been stuck in our house since January 1st, and aside from the uncontrollable sobbing and eye twitching, it's been amazing. I'm like Sissy Spacek in Blast From The Past. There's been constant rainbow looming, online shopping, minor home renovations, and it's also cleared the way … [Read More...]

MUST HAVE: DIY Vintage Hoodie

diy hoodie1

I don't know about you, but I hate to have things all up on my neck. On top of that, I have a large chest, so high necklines- on top of choking me- are really unflattering. Plus I like my sweatshirts with cleavage. I'll own that. So, I have come up with a solution to the dreaded high neck … [Read More...]

Elementary School. It’s not all limos and Happy Meals.

Little Brittany Adult Rules

Last week Gigi's midterm report came home informing me she recognized no letters or letter sounds, and she was unable to write her name. Which is weird because she definitely knew all those things going into her second year of preschool. A preschool that apparently bases it's curriculum on The … [Read More...]