L.A. Part Two: There’s somebody sleeping in my bed. And he’s still there.

February 4, 2013

I get weird in hotels. Under normal circumstances, in my home, I’m a germaphobe. I don’t use the upstairs bathroom because it perpetually smells like boy. I have my own orange juice in the fridge because I’m the only one who likes it extra pulpy, but also because I drink out of the bottle and [...]

Read the full article →

Playing Dress Up: Mid-Winter/Pre-Spring Wardrobe Confusion

January 28, 2013

Ohio is in year two of a total identity crisis. Under normal circumstances, we’d be pleasantly into our second month of thick snow, with no end in sight until at least May. But, while I was freezing my ass off in below freezing temps last night, today I’m glaring at melting snow everywhere and 50 [...]

Read the full article →

Fat Shame

January 25, 2013

Obesity is an epidemic. We see it all over the news. Overweight people with their heads cut off walking down the street. Fat kids with faces blurred just enough to maybe protect their identity, but not enough to tell they are actively eating food. You see, we need to see that. We need to be [...]

Read the full article →

Part One: Home from L.A.

January 24, 2013

Well, I just flew in from L.A., and boy are my arms tired. No, seriously. I drank heavily the entire flight and challenged everyone in first class to an arm wrestling match; my biceps are exhausted. This was actually a really scary trip for me. I mean, let’s be honest. I’m not thin. I’m not [...]

Read the full article →

Screw the Dinner Table

January 14, 2013

Friday night I came home from dinner with the girls, kissed the trio of messy haired mugs on the couch watching some apparent illegal form of Hotel Transylvania, peeked in at Andy playing some totally nerdy computer gun war game, went to my closet, pulled off my shirt, unbuttoned my jeggings, and went to the [...]

Read the full article →

Hang Out With Us, With or Without Boobs!

January 9, 2013

If you happen to be in the L.A. area, the Have Boobs Will Travel crew, consisting of Greg Grunberg, Alice Clayton, Keili Lefkovitz, Brad Savage, Shane Johnson and myself will be hanging out at Rush Bar January 19th, at 9pm. We will be in the Pole room. Yes… that kind of pole. Rush Street 9546 [...]

Read the full article →

Into 2013, With Love.

January 4, 2013

A new year. Time for me to be all profound and manafesto-y. Maybe fire off  a quote or limerick or something. While 2012 can be summed up in the words of Tommy Boy, “Ow, that’s gonna leave a mark,” 2013 is blowing up Monty Python style, ‘Tis but a scratch.” I spent last year both [...]

Read the full article →

I am Santa.

December 28, 2012

Alright, who’s coming over to clean this mess up? I blame these heathens. On December 24th my house was Priest-clean (what’s that? Oh, click here.), but by 7am on December 25th it turns into a dump and I’m waiting for the Junk Lady from The Labyrinth to pop out all, what’s the matter, don’t you [...]

Read the full article →

How The Hell Am I Still Married?

December 18, 2012

Wait… how many years have we been married? I don’t know? Seven? Eight? Oh my God, eight, this year is eight, shit. We totally missed the window for our seven year itches! If year seven is an itch, then eight is a rash. Sometimes it’s helpful to think of marriage as a sexually transmitted disease [...]

Read the full article →

A Christmas Moose

December 14, 2012

When you tell people you want a giant moose head to mount above your fireplace, they get super judgey. Even if you totally just mean a moose whose head fell of naturally. Also they are impossible to find, I have no inside connections to Sarah Palin, and the ones I found online cost way more [...]

Read the full article →
Page 4 of 61
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
...
61