Happy Boobs

February 5, 2014

Two days ago we went to the Sing-Along version of Frozen, because we still have money left in our retirement account and haven’t yet fulfilled our apparent moral obligation to continuously bolster the box office success of this cartoon. I had just finished the reprise of For The First Time in Forever, I as Elsa […]

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Snowed In With Nothing But Coconut Love

January 29, 2014

We’ve basically been stuck in our house since January 1st, and aside from the uncontrollable sobbing and eye twitching, it’s been amazing. I’m like Sissy Spacek in Blast From The Past. There’s been constant rainbow looming, online shopping, minor home renovations, and it’s also cleared the way for  a couple “me” projects. Bought a new […]

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Elementary School. It’s not all limos and Happy Meals.

January 22, 2014

Last week Gigi’s midterm report came home informing me she recognized no letters or letter sounds, and she was unable to write her name. Which is weird because she definitely knew all those things going into her second year of preschool. A preschool that apparently bases it’s curriculum on The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. […]

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The Muse Project

January 14, 2014

When you are plus size and have self esteem issues, it’s not uncommon to hate January 1st. Once I eventually got past the dread of imminent resolution failure and looming hyper-inadequacy, I tabled New Years as nothing more than the passing of a calendar year. No more resolutions. No more unreachable standards. No more change. […]

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A Day In A Marriage

January 7, 2014

Andy and I forgot our wedding anniversary. Then we suddenly remembered the night before, except we both incorrectly assumed it was our 10 year anniversary, which left us both scrambling. Fuck, what is the traditional gift for 10 years? Wikipedia says tin. Can it be Target Gift Cards and leftover Udon soup, because I have […]

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Earrings for Gigi?

December 30, 2013

First of all, four year olds aren’t in charge of making life decisions. Logically, I know this to be true. I’m the parent. No means no. Because I said so. I walked up hill both ways in the snow to do whatever asinine thing you are trying to weasel out of to play XBox. I’ll […]

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House Rule: In These Bodies We Dance

December 16, 2013

How do I teach my daughter to love her body? Good question, I don’t know. It’s actually terrifying. I have no experience liking my body before age 29. I failed in elementary school. I bombed in high school. College was a blurry mess. I can’t sit here and pretend to have any idea how to […]

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Cheers, Betty.

December 6, 2013

Having a live tree has been a live, in-home therapy session for my closeted holiday OCD. We had such a magical day planned to go pick out the perfect tree. We’d hop in the car and sing Christmas carols the whole way. We’d walk together down the rows and rows of trees, homemade hot chocolate […]

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Women Who Made The World Happier… And Me Verklempt

November 25, 2013

Ladies Home Journal just shared their list of 16 women who made the world happier this year. Scout Leader Connie Bell, Therapy Dog trainer Marcie Beedy, Spanx Founder Sara Blakely, Female Bodybuilder Ernestine Shepherd, Opera Singer Camille Zamora, Shoes That Fit Founder Jill Calhoun, Model Cameron Russell, Inventor Veronika Scott, J. Crew Designer Jenna Lyons, […]

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Thanksgiving Dressing

November 22, 2013

Over the river and through the woods… It’s almost Thanksgiving, and if was up to me, the only requirement would be a hair tie and my eating sweats, but in my house, it’s a holiday that requires a touch of decorum, and an underwire bra. I mean, we’re rarely fancy, but I like to eat warm […]

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