Bikini Mountain

March 18, 2013

So, when I started do this whole thing where once a year I put on a bathing suit and go in public, I thought, yes. This feels brave. This feels strong. And it was, until one day it wasn’t. It doesn’t necessarily feel less strong or less brave, it just feels… normal. Which is amazing. [...]

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Garage Fridge

March 13, 2013

This weekend we put a fridge in our garage. We have a garage fridge. Exciting, right? Okay just stay with me here, I have a point, let me muddle about to get there a sec. We put a fridge in our garage… and then I had an emotional breakdown. See? There’s the hook you were [...]

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The Tiny Fashionista

March 8, 2013

Having a girl has been a really, really awesome head trip. After two boys, I totally wanted a girl, but I had no idea what I was getting. I mean, it’s way better than I expected, but sometimes Andy and I look at each other all… Where did she come from? How does she know [...]

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Pink Eye

March 6, 2013

Last Wednesday, the school popped up on my caller ID. Now, that single occurrence used to send me dashing to the phone, freaked out and scared to death at the news on the other end. But then, I quickly realized the main reason I happen to get calls from the school is for things like, [...]

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Working from Home: the Good, the Bad, and the Pathetic

March 1, 2013

I was having dinner with a friend the other night when her phone dinged on the table, and as she checked the text with obvious exasperation, she looked up at me and then out the window at the dance of headlights playing on the street beside us and whispered wistfully, I wish I could work [...]

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It Happened: Eyelash Extensions

February 28, 2013

About a month ago, I turned to Facebook to talk eyelashes. Mainly, mine are crap, how can I make them be less crap? My lashes are very short, some are curly, some are straight, and then some just bend in, like, 90 degree angles. I have no idea what Danny DeVito’s pubic hair looks like, [...]

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Unhappy Ending

February 26, 2013

There are two things in life I won’t do. Hard limit. 1. Take a cruise. Boats. Ocean. Deep water. Claustrophobia. Sea beasts. I don’t care how awesome Road Rules Semester at Sea or The Suite Life on Deck made it look. No. A million times over. If Waterworld became a real thing, it would be [...]

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Erotic Fiction vs Real Life

February 19, 2013

I yell at movie screens. And televisions, especially commercials. Talk radio, motivational speakers, elementary school plays… What the hell, if you’re going to do Grease, Rizzo has to miss her period, it’s integral, I could give two fucks that they’re eight. Maybe don’t do Grease until everyone is menstruating, John Travolta is turning in his [...]

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Meeting Wyatt

February 15, 2013

Every morning on the way to school we listen to music and sing. When they get out I turn on NPR or POTUS to nerd out, but until then, it’s a super long drive and yes, singing and merriment is had. The kids have a Spotify playlist, and it used to consist of mostly Disney [...]

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A Red Lipstick Valentine’s Day

February 12, 2013

I don’t own lipstick, weird right? I own tons of cheapo balms and glosses, but no actual lipstick. The last time I wore it was in a shade of matte brown with a grungy flannel shirt and Dr. Martens, so like, not since Lilith Fair happened. That being said, I have a total girl crush [...]

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