You know when your partner does something during sex that does nothing for you, but you're way too nice to say something? Or like when you really want to try something but are afraid to sound like an aspiring internet sex worker?
I mean, for the most part, I'm pretty good at being my … [Read More...]
See this guy right there? That's my dad.
"Are you lonely?"
"It's been a lifetime of loneliness. I decided early on that I better get used to it. I go to movies by myself. If the movie theater is completely empty, I'm even happier. I learned early on that if I wanted to go to restaurants, I … [Read More...]
"8 and three dashes."
"8 and three... yes three dashes."
I hold three fingers up into the air as Andy and my brother Adam stare at me from the table saw positioned on the deck.
"8 and three dashes." I yell at them again from the center of the dining room.
"What the fuck is wrong with … [Read More...]
Our life this month has coincided beautifully with the 4th of July... some change and some freedom. Physical and emotional change that has been wonderful and sweat-inducing and scream-ridden and terrifying. You'll read about and see more of that in a few days. But first, a little bit of freedom, and … [Read More...]
There is a box at the very top of my closet full of photographs. Remember those? Archaic artifacts from a time when we needed our memories to be tangible and red-eyed. The box is deceiving. While the photos weigh mere ounces, the collection itself contains hundreds of pounds gained and lost and … [Read More...]
I say no a lot. I mean I say no to my kids a lot. Strangers and friends who I care considerably less about, I seem to struggle with limits an nos, and yet my kids, no is almost reflexive at this point.
Hey mom can-
Hey Brittany, can you fly in to do this thing that you barely have time or … [Read More...]
Holy shit, it's that time again!
Tickets for Camp Throwback 2015 go on sale TODAY at 10am EST.
CLICK HERE to check out CampThrowback.com and buy your tickets!
Wanna read the wrap-up from the 2014 event? Click here! … [Read More...]
First of all, if you came here via a search like "OMG SOMEONE STOLE MY PHOTO ONLINE!?," this is awkward, but I actually have no real advice for you outside of procuring a lawyer and having them handle all the legal crap. Way easier. Also, maybe go see Maleficent twice in a 5 day span like I did, and … [Read More...]
A few months ago I walked in the pouring rain through Chinatown and Little Italy to McNally-Jackson bookstore just before 6am, and without a stitch of make up or hair spray, I took off my pants and shopped in my underpants.
It was one of my most favorite days.
I can say … [Read More...]
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
I devoured season 2 of OITNB in one day. And you might be saying to yourself, God, that's pathetic. And, I'd be like, I know right?
Click here so I can break it down for you, women's federal prison style. … [Read More...]