This Human of New York

HONY

See this guy right there? That's my dad. "Are you lonely?" "It's been a lifetime of loneliness. I decided early on that I better get used to it. I go to movies by myself. If the movie theater is completely empty, I'm even happier. I learned early on that if I wanted to go to restaurants, I better learn to go by myself. One benefit to being big is that people don't bother you. I'm shocked that you came up to me. Nobody's ever done that. When I started to go to therapy, it took me several … [Continue reading...]

Group Therapy

Our Couples

"8 and three dashes." "What?" "8 and three... yes three dashes." I hold three fingers up into the air as Andy and my brother Adam stare at me from the table saw positioned on the deck. "8 and three dashes." I yell at them again from the center of the dining room. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Andy screamed, bringing his dirty hand up to squeeze the bridge of his nose. An annoying thing he does when he's exhausted with me. "I'd like to remind you both, you asked me for help. I was … [Continue reading...]

The Apology

Our life this month has coincided beautifully with the 4th of July... some change and some freedom. Physical and emotional change that has been wonderful and sweat-inducing and scream-ridden and terrifying. You'll read about and see more of┬áthat in a few days. But first, a little bit of freedom, and what precipitates freedom more than some long overdue atonement. I like to think that although I struggle with this messy and overwhelming thing that is parenting, that eventually I just clumsily … [Continue reading...]

Confidence… WE GOT THIS.

KathyKaitlinRenee

There is a box at the very top of my closet full of photographs. Remember those? Archaic artifacts from a time when we needed our memories to be tangible and red-eyed. The box is deceiving. While the photos weigh mere ounces, the collection itself contains hundreds of pounds gained and lost and gained again. Glossy versions of myself, some bigger or smaller than the others, but all painfully exact in one thing... complete and utter lack of confidence. I could line them up as befores and … [Continue reading...]

A Day of Yes

Say Yes

I say no a lot. I mean I say no to my kids a lot. Strangers and friends who I care considerably less about, I seem to struggle with limits an nos, and yet my kids, no is almost reflexive at this point. Hey mom can- Nope. Hey Brittany, can you fly in to do this thing that you barely have time or available brain cells for in the name of career job brand jargon jargon money. Um... yeah sure. Hey mom- No. Hey Brittany can you hop on a video conference really quick despite being in the middle … [Continue reading...]