I will preface this by saying that I am 33 years old and I have had subscriptions to People and US Weekly, a.k.a. my “picture pages” (as my husband calls them), for longer is probably healthy to admit. I love my celebrity gossip – even though they are decidedly not “like us.”
When I read an article about celebrity moms and body weight by Janice Min, former editor of Us Weekly, I was more than a bit flummoxed. Was she both attacking and defending the glamour mom persona she helped publicize? It seemed she was.
I have always found it sad that moms, celebrity or not, are put under immediate pressure to lose weight it took 40 weeks to gain. As the mother 
of a four-month-old son (and someone who can only painfully squeeze into my pre-pregnancy pants), I find it especially discouraging. I classify it as yet another sub-battle in the always frustrating “mommy wars.” Who looks good? Who doesn’t? Who cares?
It is true that most of us do not make our living based on our looks, and most of us do not have the disposable income to hire a stylist to camouflage our problem parts, a chef to cook perfectly balanced meals, a makeup artist to hide our eye bags and that all-important trainer to burn off the pounds. So maybe the women who have the means and have to depend on their looks for a career have different rules. But they shouldn’t. And we shouldn’t feel the pressure to conform to those same standards. And yet that is how it is.
This passage particularly irritated me:
So what are we Pudge Island inhabitants to do? Of course, I am all for looking great, feeling good and getting skinny. There is no virtue in letting oneself go after giving birth. And let’s face it: celebrities aren’t always terrible examples; many eat well, exercise and dress far cuter than we do. They’ve learned how to pull it together, so much so that I wrote a new book filled with simple advice from their stylists, makeup artists and trainers.
We all can learn a little from people whose profession is to be attractive. If our livelihood depended on wearing a swimsuit in front of millions, we’d probably put down the doughnut too.
It irritated me because she claims to want something better than that for her daughter and herself, yet she feeds right back in to the idea that doing something one way or having the means to do something another way makes one woman a better mother than another. And that is simply not true. Residents and non-residents of “Pudge Island” should strive to be one thing, and one thing only: good mothers. Because at the end of the day, isn’t raising a good person what parenthood is all about? And I’m sure celebrities feel that same way, too. And why shouldn’t we allow them to?
As for me, I gladly take off my ill-fitting pants at the end of the day and slip into some yoga pants because it’s more comfortable when I’m sitting on the floor playing with my baby. I’ll always pick a leisurely stroller walk with my son and husband over a run by myself. After a long day of work and too many short hours with my child, I’ll pick up the phone and deliver a pizza because it gave me some quality time with my family. And if that means I carry a few extra pounds for a few (or more) months I don’t care. I am not at war with anyone. I am a mom, and my priority is to be the best one I can be.
So, although I will keep subscribing to my picture pages, I will keep skipping the articles about how Kate Hudson lost all her weight and how Beyonce looks just as awesome as she did before. Instead, I will stare at the photos showing Kate with her kids having fun on the beach and Beyonce taking a quiet moment to feed her child while on tour. I will look at what a fun mom Jennifer Garner appears to be instead of wondering how on earth she fit into a certain dress months after giving birth to her son. Because, in the end, these women are mothers, and they deserve to have us see and appreciate them as such first. That’s what I hope people do for me – whether or not they glance at my stomach while doing it.
Elizabeth is an attorney by day, entertainment blogger by night, and a new mom to an impossibly cute son. When she’s not fending off the paparazzi who think she’s Tina Fey, she enjoys sleep, wine, exercises in elaborate procrastination, invoking her acerbic wit, and using words like acerbic. She’s written for the entertainment sites SqueeTV, Xfinity, and Snakkle, and her posts have been featured on the Huffington Post, Wet Paint, Good Morning America, and (it is rumored) her parents’ fridge. Elizabeth can be found working on her night cheese in Chicago where she lives with her husband, baby, and two beautiful DVRs. You can follow Elizabeth on twitter.
Image Courtesy of TMZ
I’m 15 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I’m terrified of the post-partum period and seeing people and being afraid they are going to judge me for not losing the weight fast enough. Thanks for sharing this- being a good Mom is definitely the most important thing to work on.
You know, those glossy covers and accusatory tabloid stories only serve to make me love those stars more. Now, it doesn’t mean I want them to continue, but there is a level of relatability that comes from seeing stars struggle, just like I do.
I love seeing these real women after giving birth, instead of hiding them away in some super secret chubby girl hut until they emerge taught, streamlined and once again, nothing like me.
I just finally hit my pre-pregnancy weight with baby #3, who just turned 10 months old. It took me longer to lose it all than it did to gain it all when I was pregnant. And that doesn’t take into account the extra 10 pounds I never lost between baby #2 & #3. I have been working hard to lose the weight all summer, and I still have 10 more pounds to go. And even that is not the “best” weight for me, but one I am comfortable with, both in terms of how I look and my health.
The truth is that my body is not the same as it was, I don’t have anyone else to watch my kids during the day so I can go exercise, and like you said, I don’t have anyone to help me plan and make healthy meals. If I had those things, it would be easier to whip myself back into shape. But honestly, most days I just manage to get by. I need things to help me feel good when I spend my days cleaning and taking care of kids. And for me, food is what makes me feel good. I am learning how to still allow myself treats and enjoy food, while not overindulging. Because I just can’t NOT eat. Or even only eat salads and healthy food. It will never allow me to stick to it long term.
I do hit up a zumba class at least once a week, but it is so difficult to go even twice a week that I don’t have a clue how any mom fits in exercise time. I try not to pay any attention to the celebrity moms, but I also frequently see real life moms in my town who lose the weight immediately and I have no idea how they do it!
Great article. It really gave me a lot to think about at a time when I am totally obsessed with losing weight and getting healthy.
I was finally able to fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans just a couple of days ago. My baby just turned 16 months. When I stopped obsessing about the weight, it finally came off. That’s all I’ll say about that.
I still can’t fit into mine and my last baby is about to turn 11.
Years old.
I live on a military base and there is a rule that you cannot shop in the Commissary (grocery store) with workout clothes on. So my new, rip-free, hole-free & stain-free yoga pants that I wear along with a clean fitted t-shirt, because I just had a baby 9 months ago and am so close to my pregnancy weight, so I don’t want to buy new clothes, are a no go. It’s not like I’m coming from the gym all sweaty and smelly and then grocery shopping. It’s just that I can’t quite fit into my old clothes yet. Wives have actually been told they can’t come in due to their clothing. I wear them anyway and am just daring someone to say something. I will cause an uproar like you wouldn’t believe.
I agree that it’s more important to be a good mother than to be skinny and it’s a reasonable excuse to cut down on time spent exercising to spend time with your child but part of being a good mother is to take care of your children’s health and the best way to do that is to set a healthy example for them. not having the time to eat healthy is not a valid excuse in my opinionfor risking your or your child’s health. By making the effort to get and stay healthy you’ll be able to live longer and with less complications and in turn be able to do more things with your child and your child will learn how to live in a healthy happy way. I agree that new mothers feel much too much pressure to bounce right back to their pre-pregnancy weight but not even trying to maintain a healthy life style is not best for your child either.
I remember reading that even if some celebs don’t lose all the baby weight right away they usually look better because they can afford to keep buying clothes that flatter even if in-between sizes. Good fitting clothes make a huge difference even with a muffin top and bra flab. It makes sense. But no I can’t afford to do that and a lot of ‘us’ can’t either. It blows. I’m going to be rocking leggings and long sweaters this winter after Little Miss is born. I’m gaining more this pregnancy so who knows what my body will look like. OH WELL!
Love you and your little one. Maybe you were too thin before, because you look perfect to me now. After twins, I actually weigh less but am 2 sizes bigger. It’s very frustrating and mysterious. Even though they are 18 months old, I am still in a frantic place where just feeding myself is a challenge….forget planning a meal and feeding myself something healthy. The fact that there is food in the house is a victory. Oatmeal cookie for breakfast? Good enough. As for the gym, sure, mine has child care. But as you said, with the long work hours and short baby awake hours, putting them in child care so I can go nowhere on the treadmill is not a choice I often make. Helping them climb the slide ladder is my “exercise” but it’s worth it.
Honestly- I rarely see photos of celebs outside of after they leave the “chubby girl hut” (as Brittney so perfectly put it) and back to sleek gazelle-skinny shape. These photos of BDH make me absolutely want to hug her. I’ve always been chubby, so I really can’t imagine someone who’s never been overweight, suddenly finding themselves in this body that society (and sadly, because she’s famous- LOUDLY and without concern for her feelings) tells her is horrible and ugly. I want to sit down with her with a glass of wine and do the ugly cry together while we eat junk food and curse the paparazzi together.
)
Erm, I mean.. uh.. yeah. So, the media sucks and it’s not at all surprising why rates of postpartum depression are so high.
(my youngest is 3 and I’m still claiming baby weight.
I’m having my kids young, and I was blessed with incredible pregnancy/metabolism genes, but I love seeing stars be REAL after having a kid, and coming out of the house after baby, a little overweight, with no makeup, looking exactly like I felt for the first six months of my son’s life. It helps me relate to them, and I like them way more.
One sad thing I read recently was that an OB to the stars basically said there’s no reason to have anything more than an extra glass of skim milk and half a sandwich every day during pregnancy, so the goal of stars is to gain the weight of the baby and the fluids…and absolutely nothing else. Seriously?! I’m 20 weeks along with my second baby, and the other day, I had four ounces of cream cheese and jalapeño dip for breakfast! The pressure to be back at pre-baby weight one week after delivery is dangerous, both emotionally and physically, and unrealistic. Thank goodness for stars that act like normal moms after they have their babies!
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