I have a confession: little girls in bikinis? Not okay. That’s right, I said it. I wrote it. Spoken like a true aunt (not a mother) and feminist to boot. Rest assured this piece is not headed into some “Toddlers and Tiaras”-like tirade—although I could draw many a connection. I am just not a fan, and I am fully willing to be challenged. I would like to get to the meaning and get people to think about it from a new angle.
The onset of the bikini in the 1940s caused a stir, sketched in American history stone. The French and Hollywood influence and endorsement sent an early tidal wave of innuendo through American culture, though at the time, the only rational for the bikini was to expose the body for tanning or to celebrate “freedom.” There apparently was nothing sexual about the bikini from the start.
Even with Annette Funicello as the poster child of bikinis and Disney-like beach blanket films, I don’t believe it was the fashion industry’s intention for the itty bitty bikini to penetrate the toddler and tween fashion market. As early as the 1950s, early adapters of the “yellow polka dotter” began to see backlash for showing too much or appearing too sexual.
I see young girls at the beach today with their families —some younger than 8 years old—baring their skin in the UV rays. I have friends showing off pictures of their babes in two pieces on Facebook. What is it that inspires a parent to put their child in something so stigmatized and so impractical?
Do their parents think it’s cute? Do the children? And if so, it then it begs the question: Where does that aesthetic come from? Who is she emulating?
Now, I am not conservative, nor do I mind a youthful expression of “cuteness.” But in my opinion, bikinis simply don’t make sense for a Kindergartener, not to mention the onslaught of messages about skin cancer, applying sunscreen, and caring for a child’s skin from a young age.
My sister is a new mother, and she and I were chatting recently about small girls in bikinis as her baby girl is now in swim class. And while she agreed with take on the subject, the more we talked, the more troubled I became, which made me wonder, what actually bothers me about bikinis? Is it my own bias? My own problem with its undeniably yet overtly denied sexual roots?
Well, that would make me a stiff, and I am not. I mean, I even read once that strong women in ancient Greece wore something like the bikini in athletic competitions.
Time to play Devil’s Advocate. Maybe little girls like to be like their moms.
Perhaps, though I know many moms who won’t wear bikinis themselves, and yet they put their daughters in them. Are children becoming like dolls, a canvas for their symbolic selves—their child a reflection of what they cannot be? Maybe.
Most attire children dress in serves a purpose: party clothes for party, soccer shorts for a soccer practice, pajamas for bed, jacket for warmth, hat to keep the sun out of your eyes… I’m still looking for the point of that bikini, though.
Jennifer Harris began writing in the 80s in an appropriately gendered, pink-studded journal and has e’er since employed the craft through print in academia, the nonprofit sector, and in health sciences. While formulaic writing takes up most of her day, she hasn’t lost sight of the journaling-voice that consumed her youth. Creative non-fiction, genre-benders, and pop-cultural musings are among her favorites to read and produce. When she is not typing, marinating, or mentoring, she takes the edge off by hiking, exercising, and watching Reality TV. Particularly dating shows. Yes. The latter is true.
My daughter wears a tankini because it makes bathroom trips easier. It shows her belly, a narrow swatch between the top and the bottom, but it allows her to go to the bathroom by herself whereas with her one-piece she gets tangled up in straps.
I don’t buy her anything smaller out of personal choice, but it doesn’t bother me if other parents do.
I agree with Zoot. I have a 3 yo, and I learned quickly that bathroom breaks were 100% simpler in a two piece.
In fact, because she is so young, sometimes we just go with the bottoms, it’s not a sexual thing, she just doesn’t care for the frills and would rather just jump in and back into the water action with her brothers.
I definitely remember being in bikinis as a small kid, definitely not now though.
HOWEVER, none of the bathing suits I wore, or that I put on my daughter, are string bikinis.
Same, about the potty breaks. And if we’re in our own backyard, I see nothing wrong with my almost 3yr old being topless or even naked. I do feel uncomfortable when I see toddlers in string bikinis or low cut (for the illusion of cleavage????) dresses and shirts for little girls.
I totally understand where you are coming from- I cringe when I see little girls in triangle tops and string bikinis. But I can’t put a blanket ban on them, too many of my friends have told me that during potty training & diapering a bikini is a must and they’ve found plenty of high waisted bottoms with cute, full coverage tops that are perfectly cute for the toddler set. Those are bikinis I can get behind.
I teach kids to swim and I’m often shocked to see what parents send their kids to swim class in. Now, there’s a lot to be said for the tankini and even *maybe* the athletic two piece (cold water and a 3 year old often result in emergency bathroom breaks), but there is no reason to have an infant or toddler in a triangle top, ties on the side bikini.
I don’t have an issue with the fuller coverage 2 piece sets, like tankinis and I won’t dress my daughter in anything too skimpy (she’s 2). I cringe a little when I see little girls (say 5 and under) wearing teeny bikinis, I’d honestly rather them be topless! At least if they are topless I am thinking that it’s more for comfort, ease and because most toddlers love to be naked. Skimpy bikinis are often associated with sexuality (hello, Victoria Secret ladies) and I don’t want little girls to be sexualized but again I only cringe a little at the 5 and under set. I REALLY don’t like to see 6-12 (maybe even 14) year olds in such small bikinis. Again, they are often associated with sexuality and why are we teaching our young girls that they need to show so much skin.
But, maybe I AM just prudish when it comes to these things.
And let’s not even get started on the sun and skin care part of it all.
Also, I fully support the swim shirt and boy cut bottoms, those are the ones I purchase for the little ones in my life. Not only are they more modest and age appropriate, but they offer extra sun protection too!
I wore a two piece as a kid, but nothing skimpy…no triangle tops or strings involved. I know my nieces wear them (not skimpy, again!) because they liked the designs on them and thought they were pretty AND because it sure makes bathroom trips much much easier. I’m guesing you’ve never had to deal with a panicked 3 year old trying to get her wet one piece off to go to the bathroom…
Have you ever tried to get a wet one piece bathing suit off a toddler who really has to use the restroom? It is a nightmare. Then trying to get the one piece back up after using the restroom is even worse. I’m not a fan of little girls in itty bitty bikinis so my daughter wears a tankini just so the 5 trips we make to the restroom while at the pool are a little easier.
I too am not a fan of little triangle tops on girls who don’t have anything to fill it out. I wasn’t allowed to wear triangle tops until I was older and by then I was too large chested for those to even fit. I think my problem with those types of bikinis is why were something designed to cover and show off breasts you don’t have?
I bought my 2 year old cousin a bathing suit for her birthday. I choose a super cute, green and purple suit that has ruffles on the butt. It’s a two piece to make diaper changing easier (a request from her mom) but the top comes pretty far down on her chest. It’s certainly not revealing but she sure does look cute in it.
I was anti-bikini until last year when I discovered that a two-piece bathing suit made for a much easier trip to the bathroom with my girls. I don’t buy them bikinis, per se, but I do buy them two-piece bathing suits.
While I don’t agree with those parents who dress their daughters in itty bitty teen weenie bikinis, I don’t judge those who choose to put them in bikinis.
I have put my daughters in bikinis since they were small. Nothing skimpy, mind you, but bikinis are great for bathroom breaks. I found a one piece when my 10 your old was a toddler that had a snap crotch. That was the best suit I’ve had. I truly wish more manufacturers would do this up to size 5.
Now that my oldest is 10, she has a bikini. Not for the convenience of bathroom breaks though. It’s a little more skimpy than I would like. Not a triangle top or anything but still a bikini. Why, then, would I buy this? You know how hard it is to find a suit for yourself? How the hips are cut too high and cut your butt in half? Or the straps dig into your shoulders? Or the top of the suit barely covers your nipples? Well, little girl suits are the same type of crap. My daughter is tall and slim. That means that even though length wise she’s a 10, width wise she fits a 7/8. And there’s no in between sizing. Either the one piece is up her rear and too low or it’s saggy on her. Saggy = views of her bare bottom. So… bikini is was this year. At least her private parts are adequately covered. sigh
This. Yes, Carla. I liken the whole situation to me swearing I wouldn’t let my kids fall into the black hole of Wiggles and Barney, too. But, sigh. In a perfect world or maybe even in a world where you can put anything on toddlers, I agree, I am not a fan of skimpy triangle tops, that their boobies always show in anyway. It’s silly, really, and, in my opinion, more the mom playing dress up with the child than anything, and usually fades once she realizes its impracticality.
However, once they get to an age where they have their own style and tastes, anywhere from 5-12 depending on how headstrong they are, it’s a matter of blending in and wearing what they perceive as cool, like anything else. I have 3 girls (7,11 and 13)and they all have their own styles, 1 prefers bikinis, 1 only fits in tankinis, and 1 likes one pieces.
As a parent, you do your best to reign them in and teach them a nice balance between self confidence and modesty, but at the end of the day, you choose your battles and, in my case, I encourage them to be their own person, within reason.
I am off on a tangent because I feel that this discussion could easily fall into one of those where one set of moms judges another set when we’re all just trying to do our best to raise our damn kids (a la breastfeeding vs formula bullshit).
My daughter has always been the same. Tall and super thin, so she has always worn a two piece. Two pieces are much more practical for spending a day at the beach. Bathroom breaks are easier and it’s also much easier to take a top off and put a rash guard on if we’re going to be in the sun for longer periods. We live in Hawaii were you see women of all shapes and sizes wearing bikinis. It’s the norm here, and I love it.
While I understand the point commenters are making about two pieces and potty breaks, there’s a difference between a two piece bathing suit and a classic “bikini.” Dressing a child in a skimpy bikini is just all kinds of wrong. It’s not properly protecting them from the sun, it’s sexualizing their bodies, and it’s starting them off early with the harmful perception that women’s fashion is dependent on how much skin they show and not on being form-flattering and practical for the occasion.
My daughter has the same problem as Carla’s. Her body shape makes it so that one piece suits don’t fit right. She has several tankinis including one with different sizes on top and bottom. Although it is very hard to find suits for a 12 year old that aren’t skimpy or padded. We don’t allow her to wear traingle tops, even though she has asked because her friends have them. I also agree with Elizabeth that why should a kid wear something designed to show off a chest they don’t have.
That being said, it is not my place to judge what type of suits other parents put their kids in. As long as they are covered in teh appropriate places and not hanging out, it doesn’t bother me too much.
What about bikinis in other cultures or areas of the world? I used to baby sit a little girl who grew up in Brazil and she wore a tini string bikini. There was nothing wrong with it. It was what everyone wore where she was from. At 17 I wished I was as comfortable in my skin as that 5 year old little girl was.
Now a mom of a little boy and maybe one day a little girl, I totally see the appeal of the 2 piece for bathroom reasons and have a hard time finding any negative to wearing a 2 piece actually. If I had a little girl she could wear whatever she felt comfortable swimming in whether that be a one piece, 2 piece or board shorts. To each their own.
YES! I couldn’t ‘LIKE’ this enough via FB. Here, I thought we were the only parents left who thought like this!
My daughter is not allowed bikinis and shes five. She begs for them! Why?!?!
We saw a group of little girls at the beach once. All playing and giggling and having a blast splashing in the water then laying in the sun. All little girls ages ranging about 4 – 14 years old. ALL in bikinis. I looked around to scope out who was on the beach and there sat an older man, alone, with his camera. now, I’m not saying that these mom just made a pedophiles dreams come true, but they sure didn’t protect their daughters from it.
This always bothers me when it comes up in anti-bikini posts. Someone always brings up the pedophile angle. A pedophile is attracted to the childlike-ness of children. By dressing a kid in a skimpy bikini, you are making them look older, less child-like and less appealing to pedophiles.
A pedo will be more turned on by a very childlike swimsuit, because they are pedophiles and attracted to children, not adults or adult like behavior. A once piece suit with a ruffle would be more dangerous in this situation.
Sorry, this post is somewhat incorrect about pedophiles. Pedophiles are attracted to the child’s body. Whether the pedophile desires children is dressed as such or as adults is personal preference. In some cases, yes, pedophiles may prefer children dressing and acting as children. But in many other cases, pedophiles enjoy children, with children’s bodies, who emulate adults in dress and/or behaviour. It would be wrong and maybe even dangerous to dismiss the concerns of attracting pedophile attention by dressing little girls in adult-like bikinis.
That said, I do hope that the discussion about pedophiles does not take away from the point that bikinis may be a form of sexualizing girls at a young age, and how this early sexualization may be damaging to their self-perceptions.
As a 22 year old I don’t really know anything about shopping for little girls’ swimsuits, but I do know about shopping for myself – and a one piece suit is about 10x harder to find and usually costs about 10% more than a bikini suit. There’s also more freedom to move and twist and you can get tighter contact at the elastic edges. As far as the skin care argument goes, you’re already exposing a lot of skin you need to take care of if you go swimming so I don’t really see the problem with another swatch.
Honestly, I don’t think the bikini style itself is sexualizing – it’s often more convenient and it’s certainly more comfortable. What is sexualizing, if anything, is the notion that little girls need to cover up their tops at an age when they look exactly the same as the boys. I think there’s a big difference between a revealing style to be worn in ordinary weather and a revealing style to be worn under conditions where going totally naked would really be the most practical approach (save for those of us adults with saggy, bouncy bits that need support for comfort).
i feel your post is actually too narrow. I agree with previous commentors. I do not have a problem with a cute two piece on a child when that child is going to have to take numerous bathroom breaks or have diapers changed. It’s just more practical. I don’t even have a problem with it when parents strip their baby or toddler down to a diaper and let them have at it in the sand.
This is where I think you’re limiting your ire: I do however have a huge problem with the fact that as children get older, the fashion industry, as a whole, has abandoned age appropriate clothing and now when you walk into the children’s section of any store, you see racks of too short skirts, tight, low cut shirts, and pants with inappropriate things written on the butt. I wonder what I’m going to buy for my niece as she ages. I know these are the images that are marketed to children. But I abhor seeing a 7 year old girl dressed like a 20 year old coed on spring break. Just no.
This ^
I have a 13 year old and she has a very limited selection of clothes that will cover her very ample chest. And when it comes to bathing suits, she wore a sport 2 piece as soon as we were able to find a bathing suit that would fit her(she was like 1). There are very few 1 pieces out there that will even fit her, especially now. She has always been taller than the suits allowed for in length.
Lands End used to carry a few “long torso” 1 pieces that were cute, but still more pricey than say Walmart or Kmart for those of use with little to no money for extras.
My daughter is three years old and has been given two bikini’s the last two years. She has refused to wear either of them, even though they were relatively conservative and had cute prints on them (polk-a-dots and flowers) and this year she’s been wearing a tankini to her swimming lessons (it covers her entire torso and has a bikini bottom, but not too small a bottom. I haven’t worn a bikini since I was about her age and will not be encouraging her to wear one. However, as she gets older, if she wants to wear one, I would strive to shy her away from the tiny ones they sell everywhere. I abhor the clothes they sell for children that sexualize them at too young an age…
Hi Jennifer!
It’s an age old question for sure. As a swimwear company, of course, we encourage swimwear all year long…but bikini’s on little girls has been a hot button topic for a long time for many of the reasons you have mentioned!
We featured your article on our Facebook page! It’s a great story for our swimwear customers to discuss!
Thank you for a great article!
Cher T.
SwimsuitsForAll.com
Social Media Marketing Expert.
I’ve let my 13 year old wear a bikini since she was a toddler because it’s important to me that she celebrate her body and be comfortable in her own skin. There were years during pre-puberty that a one-piece would have likely been way more flattering to her shape but my sisters and I spent all our childhood, teen years and early adulthood cowering on the beach in one pieces and basketball shorts and caftans because we were ashamed of our bodies (and, in hindsight, had absolutely no reason to be.) You can’t wear a bikini forever; do it before you have boobs and saddlebags and stretch marks. Those that think it “sexualizes” young girls are overreaching. Don’t like it? Don’t buy one for your kid. I don’t like Crocs.
I think there are far worse things to be concerned about. It’s a body and I don’t see an issue either way. If the child is happy and the parent approves, who am I to have an opinion.
Reading the comments, two pieces seem practical, it seems. I’m not a mom, so I don’t know first hand.
If I were a mom, I couldn’t really care what others thought of my child’s beach attire, as long as my child was comfortable.
Sun screen protects the body more than a one piece.
I’m glad I grew up having the option.
- Amanda
I completely agree. Although tankinis don’t come to mind when you say bikini. I understand young children need a two piece to make potty easier it just doesn’t need to be barely theres. I actually like swim shirts and bikini bottoms like the surf girls wear. I am fair skinned and my son is moderately fair skinned so more coverage the better is my motto now. It will be the same if I ever have a little girl because I don’t need a prostitot running around.
I agree with many of the other posters. For me, having my daughter’s in a two piece swimsuit was for practical reasons – namely bathroom breaks!
Sometimes I think we go to far in finding the negative in everything, especially with body image. Give moms a break!
I’m pregnant with my second child, my first girl, and I was just eyeballing baby swim suits and thinking about this one. I think we’re going to do the same basic thing as we do with her brother: a swim shirt and a bottom piece. I know from hanging with friends with older girls that diaper changes, etc, are a nightmare with a one piece on.
I know I took too long to write, the server at the school I work in wouldn’t even let me look at the article, very racy apparently. I wouldn’t be caught dead in a bikini, yet want to cry when my girls pick their own one piece for 2 reasons: Potty and independence. We don’t put them in skimpy clothes, and we almost always wear hand-me-downs, and that goes for swimsuits too. So, we have some cute one pieces that I hide in the back of the drawer, or keep for a spare in the bag in case of an accident, which never happens because whipping off the bikini takes one second. Tweens are a different bag, but I can’t lie, I had a slutty bikini when I was a kid and I loved it. I turned out ok, and so will my girls, and many of the bikini wearing little ones all around town. It’s the moms talking too much about their daughters’ bodies being chubby or needing to lose weight and whether they look fat that is messing with the girls brains.
What amazes me is that the same people that put their kids in tiny bikinis – or pint sized adult fashions, like booty shorts and midriff tops (which totally happens) would be horrified if there were a predator nearby. I’m all for practicality, but there’s nothing wrong with teaching our daughters modesty. A good self image should come from knowing you’re beautiful, inside and out, not how much skin you can get away with showing.
My daughter is 4 and bikinis have been an option for her most of her life. Two pieces are just more practical all the way around for going potty (and diaper changes for babies). She has had tankinis as well, but they often roll up while she is swimming.
Her bikinis are very “little girl” with a skirted bottom and ample coverage up top. I agree with others about the true “string bikinis” on toddler. I don’t think they are practical and I am not a fan of them.
I don’t think wearing a bikini, whether it is on an adult or a child is always sexual. I think it depends on the person and the style.
Just thought I would share (published shortly after this blog post!)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/17/elizabeth-hurleys-bikini-kids_n_1890428.html
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