As women, we can be our biggest supporters and critics. But, what about the men? I asked six guys in various points of the relationship game, does weight really matter?
Patrick, in a relationship: Although weight can have an influence on the initial attraction, once you get to know someone it will become less of a factor in the level of interest as you get to know the other person. This is a two way street though, guys worry about their appearance and weight too. Naturally, we want our partners to be healthy but we also understand how genetics can play a role. If someone in the relationship is overweight and not happy about it, I think as long as some effort is made to make better choices, you will find a helping hand before anything else. We want to make our partner happy as much as we need to be happy ourselves.
Adam, single: The politically correct way to answer this question is to talk about inner beauty. About how important someone’s personality, sense of humor and intelligence are to the long-term success of any relationship. How bodies shift and change, but the person inside is what counts. Bullshit. The long-term success of a relationship is dependent on more than that – on a combination of physical, emotional, and intellectual attraction.
When I date someone, I have to find her facial features innately attractive, I have to feel an emotional connection with her, and I have to find her physical figure personally attractive. As a result, I do take weight (or, more accurately, shape and figure) into consideration. It’s considered right along with other traits that are important to me, such as intelligence, sense of humor, personality, her smile, and her eyes. In the end, I’m looking for a complete package.
Ken, single: Look I am going to be dead honest with you, I am not into totally skinny women, you know the ones that are thin as a rail, any more than I am into women who are morbidly obese. If that doesn’t compute with you, that’s ok. It’s about attraction, and for everyone it’s different, plus you asked for honesty in this blurb. Now I will be first to admit I love a woman with curves. I really like women of most size ranges in the middle. The thing is, and I believe when I say this, I am speaking for a lot of men, it is all about attitude. If you are a little heavier and are all militant and completely self conscious about it all the time, it is a turn off. There is nothing sexier than a woman who is comfortable in her own skin regardless of how much skin she has. The other half of the equation has nothing to do with the woman, but with the guy. The thing to keep in mind (and this is for the guys) is, if you sincerely make a woman feel beautiful about herself; if you remind her everyday how beautiful she is inside and out, then her size will never be an issue, because she will make you happy the rest of your life.
Andre, in a relationship: Personally, a woman’s weight isn’t a major issue, but there are limits. If I notice a girl can out eat me and/or consume more unhealthy sustenance than I’d ever consider ingesting, then I’ve got a problem. If she’s a heavy breather or requires more than one seat at a sporting event, then again I’ve got a problem. On the flip side, if she looks like she needs to be fed and I can see a little too much bone structure, then I’ve met a girl with some possible red flags. Plus I can’t help but think about the pelvic bruises I’ll probably have to endure.
Andrew, single: Never a cut and dry thing, since it doesn’t exist in a vacuum. I’ve never been too attracted to ‘twigs’ but weight can play a part. If a woman has some weight on her, but wears it well (by wearing properly fitting clothes, not being self conscious, etc) I don’t think twice. But too often women who have issues with their weight (either real or imagined) have a decent amount of emotional baggage to go with it. I can tell them 1000x that they’re beautiful, but if they don’t believe it, it doesn’t matter. They’ll more prone to be sullen, complain about food, be catty towards other women, and whatnot. That’s been my experience, at least.
Tony, in a relationship: When I was single, weight was not an issue as much as being physically fit was for me. A girl, or a guy for that matter, can be physically fit and still be heavier than some damn fish wrap or magazine tries to tell us we should be. But, if I could not get out and go on a hike or bike ride for the afternoon with her, and not have to call 911, then my desire was less than average towards her.