Going for a Bikini Wax.
It’s not the pain that I fear. I have an extremely high tolerance for pain. Save stubbing my toe. Because that? Is way worse than childbirth. It’s allowing someone (other than my husband) to look at my nether regions. I fear being talked about, after I leave the salon. Now, I know that we all look different “down there”, but the weight gain of four pregnancies and an fairly indulgent lifestyle prior to those pregnancies has deposited fat in the weirdest and most intimate of places. This is something that makes me very self conscious; to the point of not wanting to wear a bathing suit without a little skirt attached. I’ve heard of this being called “FUPA” or “gunt”. The names make it even harder for me to take myself to the salon that specializes in bikini waxes. Do I really want to be known as the girl with the [ugly named body part] getting a wax? No way—I mean—I do all I can to hide this on a daily basis. Why would I want to let some stranger look at me on purpose, let alone pay them to do it? This fear might not ever go away, so it’s trimming for me. Because a girl’s gotta be groomed.
Getting a Full Body Massage.
I know how good a massage feels. I’ve had a hand massage. I’ve had a scalp massage. I’ve even had a shoulder massage. One time I was even given a gift certificate with instructions to use it for a full body massage, but I turned it down. Instead I opted to use it for a highlights at this particular salon/spa. I guess it’s like the bikini wax. I feel my body is different and it’s hard for me to come to terms with someone that I don’t know touching me that way. I really wish I didn’t feel like this.
Taking a Pole Dancing Class.
When I think of “strippers” I think of tight bodies that look good in g-strings or thongs. I’ve been to strip clubs before and I have never seen anyone with a body like mine twirling around a pole. And, this notion holds me back from taking a fitness class that involves a pole and dancing.
I know that I shouldn’t be afraid to do these things, but I am.
What things are you afraid to do because of your weight?
Mishelle Lane is a born-and-raised Buffalonian, wife of a pilot, mother of four, and professional photographer who currently resides outside of Atlanta. Online she has been writing on her personal weblog, Secret Agent Mama, since 2005, with a mix of photography, self exploration, poetry, and quirk, as well as playing with social media on Facebook and Twitter. While she is passionate about many things, nothing makes Mishi happier than when she is behind her camera, snapping away. And, very rarely will you see her without her camera. You can read more from Mishi on her blog, Secret Agent Mama.