Thin privilege is a term used to describe the advantages and benefits that come with being thin. The thought is that it is generally easier to be thin and accepted in our society. There is some debate of whether thin privilege exists.
Eighteen years ago I would have passionately debated my stance that it was just as hard to be too skinny as it was to be overweight. In fact, I did argue it, often. Thin privilege? No way, I was underweight and I had no special treatment. And I truly believed it.
Until I was 23 and started having kids, my scale rarely reached over 100 lbs. I was often teased for being so skinny: “Teenie Weenie,” “Skinny Minnie,” and “chicken legs” were some of the most popular names I was called, even teachers chimed in. I was eleven when musician Karen Carpenter died from Anorexia Nervosa and widespread knowledge of the eating disorder had been thrust into the forefront. I became accustomed to overhearing whispers of she must not eat, disapproving stares, and comparisons to Karen Carpenter.
The thing is, I did eat. I ate a lot. I didn’t binge and purge. I could eat most people I knew under the table. Which, naturally, led to some assumptions that I must be bulimic, but it all stayed down. On occasion, concerned friends would even follow me into the bathroom after meals. My mother was very thin. My sister was thin. Even my children now, despite some rather poor eating habits, are also very thin. I was simply thin. Whether it was genetics or a forgiving metabolism or a combination, that’s just the way I was.
I didn’t like it. I always wished I could put on weight and look more normal, more like other kids. I remember seething with jealousy one Christmas when my step sisters and I all got Guess Jeans as a present. Theirs were junior sizes, while mine were still in children sizes, though we were the same age.
My college roommate struggled all her life as the “chubby girl.” By college, she had lost some weight, but was still sensitive about her body, feared gaining it back and harbored a lot of resentment from the teasing that she received growing up. I often argued my point that I had it equally as bad as she did. I was teased, too. I felt different, too. I always wished I could change my body, too. And I truly believed it.
Until I was no longer skinny.
Funny how a different experience can completely change your perspective of what you believe to be true. My metabolism is not quite as kind as it used to be. Unfortunately, twenty plus years of bad eating habits doesn’t help and, turns out, isn’t so easy to break. My babies have stretched out my hips and stomach. My boobs, well, I have boobs now.
Now that I am one of the bigger girls, I’ve seen it from both sides. And I’m here to admit I was wrong.
When I was thin, I never cried in a fitting room. Finding clothes to wear was not a traumatic experience. No one ever looked at something I was eating and asked condescendingly ”should you be eating that?” I wasn’t judged for the calorie content of the groceries I purchased or what I ordered at a restaurant. I wasn’t embarrassed to eat in front of people.
Though I was teased for being different, honestly, there was a different tone to the taunting, in hindsight, I can see that. It was more of an admirable jealousy “I wish I could be as thin as you” and less of a shameful judgement that heavier people get. But the biggest difference is that I am harder on myself now and I believe that is because what is out there and expected as acceptable. Body shaming is wrong in any capacity, but the further you stray away from society’s physical ideals, thin being the default, the more difficult things can be.
Privilege is defined as a right, immunity, or benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond the advantages of most. The thing about privilege is if you don’t fall into the group that gets the privilege, chances are that you don’t realize it exists, you don’t see an alternative, you don’t know any better.
White House photo by Knudsen, Robert L.
Thin privilege ABSOLUTELY exists. Having been on both sides of the issue myself (although I was never as thin as you were; I weighed 128 when I graduated HS), I can tell you with absolute certainty that the world is way, way kinder to thin people. Doors open, staff becomes more helpful, people smile at you when you walk down the street, you get included in more adventurous things… it’s completely unfair and insulting to women as a whole. But, I think “fit privilege” exists for men. If they look muscular and healthy, they get treated like gods. I’d almost just say that the world treats people who fit into the mold of “magazine-definition attractive” much better than the average person who has a few extra pounds or varied facial features. Sad, huh?
I love that you presented both sides of the coin. I was “normal” sized all through high school and slowly started gaining weight after I had been married a few years. There is a definite difference in the way you are treated when you are larger. Not only is the judgment harsher, but everyone that is smaller feels like they have the right to tell you what you do or wrong or how you can improve yourself under the guise of “helping.” It sucks.
It’s one of those things that makes me happy not to live in America. I don’t think we have that, because not as much emphasis is put on being thin here. We do, however, have “fat disadvantage” if you like. It’s not so much about being thin as it is about not being fat. As long as you’re not fat you’re ok. But that’s almost everywhere, I guess.
Hi Tena!
Great article!
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Brand Evangelist
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This is situation that should make us all reflect on our own beliefs and thoughts. I have been heavier in my life than I am now but never over my “acceptable weight.” I am guilty of judging overweight people. Not as lazy necessarily, but as making choices that seem obviously contributory to weight (sedentary life, poor eating, drinking too much beer…it’s a long self ritious list) even though I’VE DONE ALL those things. I am lucky to be blessed with a good metabolism that didn’t retaliate when I made those choices. Getting involved in other’s weight loss & fitness goals has shown me that it truly is harder for some people to lose weight on top of it being easier for them to gain. I now make a consious effort to not judge others grocery carts while my own is filled with candy and encourage exercise in a kind way. Hopefully articles like this will help other people reflect on themselves instead of pointing their skinny fingers at others.
I love this post! It drives me crazy when people say it’s just as hard to be underweight as it is to be overweight. It’s just not true. But I never bother to argue because, as you said above, people who are privileged don’t typically recognize it. Thin privilege is just as rampant as white privilege. Does that mean life is perfect for those people? No. But they certainly have advantages.
I don’t think there is such a thing as “thin privilege”. I work in a convenience store and see 100s of people every day, and see how they interact. I don’t see thin girls treated any differently than heavy girls. They don’t get hit on more and heavier girls don’t get disapproving looks. Neither me or my coworkers are nicer to thin girls opposed to bigger ones.
I don’t feel that I’m treated any differently than my thinner coworkers. The thin girls on my management team aren’t treated any differently from myself. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really been on both sides of the spectrum.
Thanks for this piece. It is nice to hear from someone who has been on both sides.
Great perspective.
Being thin is good, but not if you have to climb mount everst to do it. It is the media that puts these type of perspectives into our head that if you are not thin you are not normal
Here in Ethiopia where I live, it’s not thin privilege that exists, but rather “Light skin Privilege”. Sadly, people with lighter skin do seem to enjoy many advantages in the many spheres of public life. On the other hand, being thin is not really considered attractive here. Perhaps due to the stigma long associated with the stereotypical HIV positive person. People are more likely to laud women who have gone from a thin frame to a somewhat plumper one.
Oh so when you looked healthy or like a model people treated you well, but when you looked like a hambeast and an obese, fat, unhealthy women, people don’t treat you well.
Gee, I wonder whats wrong with people.
Thin privilege absolutely exists, but I object to any ideas that thin women struggle with body issues any less than a heavier woman. I’m 5″7, 130lbs, and am a 32A. It took me years to realize that just because I’m flat chested doesn’t mean I’m less of a woman. I cried in dressing rooms growing up because I can’t wear bathing suits, dresses, or certain tops without looking like a 10 year old. And being the girl people are jealous of, and sort of hate, is no picnic either, especially when you’ve eaten everything in your power to weigh otherwise. Teasing hurts thin people just as much as it hurts heavier people.
Thankfully, I think society is largely moving towards seeing curvier woman as beautiful over rail-thin models. But as “Real woman have curves” becomes more popular, those of us with smaller frames still feel the sting of poor body image. All women struggle with themselves, regardless of size.
Like every girl, I expected to be thin forever until I had a liver transplant and then the drugs left me with an additional 50 pounds. While I have lost most of the weight now, my mind still leaves me in a fear of being thicker again. Everytime I gain 5 pounds my family looks at my pudge and frowns disapprovingly. Being on the side of thicker definently has it’s greater risk of emotional scars that come from criticism directly and indirectly from society
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