Do you remember the book, The Rules? In case you’ve somehow missed it, The Rules was published in 1995, outlining all the rules a woman should follow to succeed at dating. Before the invention of eReaders, women everywhere wanted the book that was going to help them land their future husband.
Ladies, some of these rules are just silly and outdated. And some of them still apply today. Let’s take a look at a few of them.
It’s a Fantasy Relationship unless a Man asks you out.
This is the rule that I disagree with, and break, the most. If I’m interested in a man and want to invite him out for coffee, drinks, or dinner… I should be encouraged to do so, not belittled. If we go out and continue a relationship afterwards, who’s to say it won’t work? Or that it’s not “real” just because I did the asking? The dating road goes both ways and I think it’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to go after what she wants.
Show up to parties, dances, and social events even if you don’t feel like it.
I agree. If you don’t put yourself in social situations, it will be difficult to find anyone outside of your landlord or boss. Even people that meet online eventually have to see each other face to face.
Never accept a date fewer than 3 days away.
Basically if he calls to ask you out on Saturday, you can’t accept the date unless he calls by Wednesday. It’s the 3 day rule. I am not going to pretend like I’m busy when I’m not (especially if I really like the guy).
Don’t call him, and rarely return his calls.
What? Do women actually do this? I understand waiting for him to call first, but then not returning his call, I think that sends the wrong signal if you really like the guy.
If he doesn’t call, he is not that interested. Period.
Yes. This hasn’t changed in 17 years. As a matter of fact, the only thing that has changed is the various ways he can reach you now. If he lost your phone number, he can send you a message on Facebook. He will find a way to reach you if he’s interested.
No sex on the first, second, or third dates.
My opinion is that sex on the first date sends a bad message, especially if you’re hoping for a lasting relationship. I’m more cautious with sex, and I usually wait a few weeks before even considering going that far with a new guy. I think all women are different and you do what works for you. If you’re only looking for a booty call, well sex on the first date is okay then. But realize, that you just became a booty call as well.
Close the deal, Rules women do not date a man for more than two years.
I disagree. I know some very happy marriages that dated for much longer than two years. I am not going to throw away my soul mate because of a time frame.
Don’t Live with a Man (or Leave Your Things in His Apartment).
I don’t know. Don’t you want to be absolutely sure you can live with each other before you walk down the aisle? And not leaving things at his place? Doesn’t that just sort of “happen” after you’ve been together for some time? This one seems outdated. I don’t know many couples that don’t live together before marriage.
Be easy to live with.
Um. I thought we weren’t supposed to do that. See above.
Seventeen years later, we need to rewrite some of these dating rules!
I have a few I like to follow.
- Never let a first date pick you up at your place.
- Always meet for a first date in a busy public area.
- Never do anything you are uncomfortable with. Listen to your gut.
What are some of the rules you follow while dating? What are some rules that you think should be disregarded? Should we even have rules, or are we just playing games by establishing dating rules?
Greis (pronounced Grace) is a single, 30 something, Texas girl with an iPhone addiction. She loves her hometown Houston sports teams, Astros Baseball & Texans Football! When she’s not working as an inside sales analyst for a local manufacturing company, you can usually find her on the internet, watching trashy reality television or snuggling her niece, Audrey. In her spare time she enjoys a good chick flick, reading teenage vampire books (the sparkly kind) and dreaming about what life will be like when she finally wins the lottery. You can read more from Greis on her blog, Amazing Greis.