Can you remember the first time that someone actually called you fat? Like really said it to you?
I was dating this guy, Johnny. I was 24. And a single mom.
Johnny was fabulous in every sense of the word. He held my hand, he went shopping with me, he was good with my kid. I really liked him.
All of my friends told me over and over that they had heard he was gay, and I was his cover for his parents. Now how could that be? Johnny and I kissed and cuddled all the time. He was NOT gay. He showed a real interest in me. He was just thoughtful and not pressuring me into going all the way, because I was a single mom. And I repeatedly pointed out to him that I wanted to take things slow.
After 3 months of taking things slow, I was finally ready to move to the next level.
Johnny… not so much.
He finally came out to me.
I was so PISSED!
Do you mean that I wasted three months of my life and let my son meet “Mommy’s New Friend” for nothing?! I had to endure countless dinners with his parents all to find out that I was batting for the wrong team?
So I had no choice but to tell all of my friends that they were right. Johnny was using me as his cover. This got back to him, and he called me at work to say…
HIM: Meredith, I heard that you have been telling your friends that I am gay.
ME: Yeah, so what? You are! There is nothing wrong with that. And they want to know why you aren’t around. Besides, they’re the ones who told me months ago.
HIM: What if this gets back to my mom and dad?
ME: Johnny, you know what? I’m done with you! Just be honest with yourself and the next girl that you date! I really had feelings for you! Now I can’t trust you. You’re pretty much an ass in my opinion. So just don’t call me anymore!
HIM: Fine! I will never call you again! PORK CHOP!!!
I hung up the phone. And I just stood there in front of a bar full of customers, totally stunned. I just began to sob.
Did he call me Pork Chop? Like a pig? Pork Chop?
Was I fat? Was a size 10 fat?
Of course, some drunk at the bar wanted to hug me and comfort me. Although, I didn’t let him grope me, I did let him tell me (for the rest of the night) that I was beautiful and he didn’t deserve me anyway.
But it stuck with me. It was the first time I was ever told I was fat. And it was by a guy that didn’t ever want me in the first place because I have girl bits and not boy bits.
People can really suck. Why is that a come back? Why is calling someone fat ever okay?
Meredith Soleau was supposed to be a famous country singer, but her parents made her go to college and major in something “real.” She graduated with a B.S. in business, and landed a gig as a Human Resources Director at a large car dealership in Ohio. She is now a nationally recognized HR speaker and Social Media Professional. You can read more from Meredith on her blog, Meredith Soleau.