The Face of Almost Forty.

by Yvonne on April 28, 2011

in Girl Talk, Lifestyle, Real Life

In less than 5 months, I will be turning forty years old.

Forty. Years. Old.


I see the damage that thirty nine  has done to my face. I have lines across my forehead, wrinkles around the corners of my eyes, drooping eyelids.

We won’t even talk about what age has done to my boobs.

I’m not the only one noticing what thirty nine years has done to my face. People around me notice.

Last month I went to a club in LA for my sister’s birthday. We had to wait in a line to get in. As I was standing there, a group of guys walked by and said something about “cougars” while looking directly at my face.

I made a comment on Facebook recently about my aging face.

“Get botox!” a friend suggested.

I could. I could pay to have a doctor stick needles in my face to paralyze the muscles to diminish the lines and wrinkles.

Here’s the thing – I don’t want to.

I’m terrified of pain, of needles, of bad reactions (Kim Kardashian, anyone?), of emptying out my checking account so that I can hang on to my fading youth. I’m going to get old. I’m aging as I type this. It’s inevitable. At this point, I’m choosing to embrace it. I am doing all of the things I should be doing to care of my aging skin. I wash it with cleansers that say things like “gentle enough for Old Lady Skin!” I’m ex-foliating it, smearing masks on it ,and moisturizing the hell out of it. But needles? Knifes? No thank you.

Please don’t confuse my lack of desire to inject botox into my face as my disapproval of such things. Plenty of my friends have had botox injections. They look great,but more importantly, it makes them feel better about the way they look. I’m all for that.

I’m just against putting needles in MY face.

When I turned thirty one, I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of dread that “40″ was just 9 years away. Forty! When did I get so old! My MOM was 40 when I had my first child. I was only 9 years away from being as old as my mom!

As each year of my 30s passed, I felt less sense of dread about The Big 4-0. I can’t explain it except to say, I’ve had nine years to make  peace with this thing called Turning Forty. And I may not be aging well in my face, but my brain has never been sexier. I’m wiser, I’m more confident, less afraid, more willing to take risks. For the first time in my life, I like who I am. Wrinkles, saggy boobs, mom hands and all.
This is what Almost 40 looks like

KelR April 28, 2011 at 8:15 am

Dahling, you look fabulous.

When I turned 40, 6 1/2 years ago, it was liberating. All those lines and wrinkles are badges of accomplishment. It means I’ve lived, loved and laughed my way through life. I wouldn’t want to have them injected, pulled or erased in any way. I love who I am in my 40s. I finally like myself and I long ago quit trying to be someone I’m not. And if someone doesn’t like it, they can kiss my big butt.

Yvonne April 28, 2011 at 10:17 am

LOVE IT, Kel! :)

Loretta April 28, 2011 at 9:15 am

You. Rule.

Habbala April 28, 2011 at 10:05 am

You, my dear, are absolutely beautiful. Glad you know that :)

kim {notcrazy} April 28, 2011 at 10:11 am

i like who you are, too. and you’re gorgeous! always. <3

SarahP April 28, 2011 at 11:12 am

You are just stunning (and I’m a longtime joy unexpected reader-you are historically beautiful), but I think it’s what’s in that brain of yours reflecting on the outside.

Yvonne April 28, 2011 at 5:48 pm

You all are too kind. xoxo

Nuckingfutsmama April 28, 2011 at 11:31 am

I LOVE this post! I am in your same boat as I just turned 39 & see that big 4-0 in the very distant future. I think you look FABULOUS! Cheers to turning 40 with a healthy attitude! :)

Pam @writewrds April 28, 2011 at 11:34 am

You’re gorgeous. And you’re going to love your 40s! (That’s from somebody who just turned 50… : )

Dana April 28, 2011 at 12:07 pm

I’m two months shy of the same milestone and can definitely see and feel the aging process on my face, my neck and, ahem, elsewhere.
But like you, I’m relatively ok about it.
It helps that I actually feel the healthiest and strongest that I have in… just about ever. I’ve done a number of things in the past year including stepping up the weight-lifting efforts, kicking booze and recently cutting way back on the sugar. Essentially, I’m feeling like a bit of a bad ass these days and if that’s what 40 feels like, then bring it on!

Wacky Mommy April 28, 2011 at 12:30 pm

you know in 40 years we’re going to be saying, God we thought we were OLD when we were 40, hahaha! My grandma turned 88 when I turned 44, she got so quiet and said, I would give anything to be 44 again.

(okay huge sigh.) You look fantastic, btw. Cougar MY FOOT. Cougar THAT. xo me

Jennifer April 28, 2011 at 12:40 pm

I will be 40 in September. I have not made peace with it. My friends tell me that you just feel so much freer after you hit that number. That your 40′s are all about being who you really are. I’m still freaked.

And I see that photo of you and just think you look fantastic. I don’t see any of those things you mentioned.

tena April 28, 2011 at 1:30 pm

I think you look stunning… and I’m not even going to footnote that with some bullshit like you look awesome for forty… because you look great- period!

I’m right behind you and feel very similar. I will be 40 next year and though I would like to find a wrinkle cream that could help soften the blow, I like my face just the way it is.

I think of it as a challenge by the universe to look good for my age. That’s my goal.

edj April 28, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Just wait–soon women in their 60s and 70s will be saying how young you look! (I’m in my, gulp, mid-40s and had this happen twice this weekend, where they didn’t think i looked old enough to be the mother of teens. Oh but I really really am) I too think you look fantastic. And what is age but experiences lived and loves lost and gained and memories earned? Our society is screwed up because they think youth is where it’s at–but who among us would ever want to relive the teenage years? Not me!!

mommabird2345 April 28, 2011 at 2:12 pm

I think you look amazing! I know I’m looking older, I’m 37 for crying out loud, but my mind hasn’t aged. I remember asking my then 75yr old grandma how old she felt mentally, she said she still felt like she was in her 30s, but her body couldn’t do what it once did. I’m beginning to understand that more and more everyday. *sigh*

Katherine @ Postpartum Progress April 28, 2011 at 2:16 pm

I am 41 and am continually shocked at the changes my body is making without my permission. My boobs have migrated several inches south. Thank God for the push-up bra.

Oh, and by the way, I think you look fab.

Lena April 28, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Someone said something on my blog once that I’ll never forget.

“It’s harder for beautiful women to age.”

I’ll be perfectly honest. To not have people look at me like they once did – men lustfully, women enviously – is hard. I’m not going to lie. HARD. But, since turning 30, I’ve been forced to turn inward. And I do more so every year. To value my talents, my humor, my friendships. I value the lessons I’ve learned. I’m a better person now at almost 34 than I was at 24. IN EVERY WAY. I can only imagine how awesome I’ll be at 44.

As I get older, people may not look at me. But, now *I* look at me. And I love what I see.

So should you. I love you.

Joansie June 12, 2011 at 2:01 pm

We’re the same age. And you have EXACTLY described how I feel. You rule.

Jenny Grace April 28, 2011 at 4:23 pm

You are so beautiful.

Caetb April 28, 2011 at 6:14 pm

You rock. And you’re gorgeous. Let’s hope I’m so gorgeous in 2 years ( which would entail getting better looking, BTW )

lani April 28, 2011 at 6:27 pm

You look amazing, Y. Always have. And ummm… to the cougar comment. I would have looked directly back into his eyes and given him an ice cold, “Don’t f’ing flatter yourself.” What an idiot.

Beth April 28, 2011 at 6:35 pm

I enjoyed 40, and 41 is looking pretty damn fabulous too.

the mama bird diaries April 28, 2011 at 7:26 pm

You are gorgeous. And I’m almost 41 and still trying to come to terms with 40.

Mishelle Lane April 28, 2011 at 7:29 pm

I love who you are, and so glad I am getting to know you. At this age, you are perfect!

Dawn Buck April 28, 2011 at 8:33 pm

It’s not the age of the hearth but the brightness of the fire burning in it that matters. No one remarks on the age of the window when what they see out of it is awesome to behold. Who should actually care how time worn the chest is when the treasure inside is priceless? The only lasting beauty is that which dwells within and which is ageless.

Meredith April 29, 2011 at 12:11 am

I met you in real life. And I thought you were adorable. I had only seen you in photos up to that point in NOLA. I have to tell you, the pic above is so pretty (so, so pretty), but really, it does you no justice. You are a real life knock out.

AJ April 29, 2011 at 4:02 am

I am 35 this year and have patients at work tell me I am still just a baby all the time. Got to love working in geriatrics, LoL.

ella April 29, 2011 at 11:00 am

I’ll be 47 this year and I’m proud of my age and my looks! You should be too! You’re going to be 40 and you look DAMN GOOD!

Lisa April 29, 2011 at 11:13 am

You have a beautiful sparkle in your eyes and a beautiful smile. You are just lovely. I’m turning 47 in two weeks (ack) and remember the panic of turning 40 and wondering how long I could keep it together. Amazingly, I feel more confident and beautiful from the inside out now in my 40′s. I suggest you relish the fact that you look amazing and keep on smiling. Don’t you sweat 40 one bit!

Al_Pal April 29, 2011 at 6:44 pm

You look lovely! I’m 34, and while I still get carded pretty often, I feel like my [small] undereye lines increased a lot in the last 9 months [there was some trauma and crying that accelerated the aging]…but I’m still enjoying getting older and hopefully-wiser.
And thanks for the reminder to moisturize my hands. ;p
My mom looks awesome, but she laments that she didn’t take care of her hands as well as her face and neck.

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