Abortion is a constitutionally protected right in this country. Whether you are on one side of the aisle or the other, short of overturning Roe v. Wade, this will not be changing. However, in 1992, the High Court allowed states to enact to their own restrictions. Recently, specifically in a heated election year where women’s rights seem to be under fire, and political and religious ideology often trumps reasoning and science, an alarming trend in Republican legislature around the country is testing to see just how close they can get to banning abortion.
In several states, access to abortions are becoming highly restricted under new laws. Stricter clinic regulations in Virginia are being passed in hopes of financially impeding the operations of women health care centers. Doctors that work in clinics in Mississippi have been denied hospital admitting privileges. Texas has implemented many barriers included the Abortion Sonogram Bill which requires women seeking an abortion to have a sonogram 24 hours prior to the procedure. The doctor is required to describe the limbs and measurements and play the heartbeat aloud.
I support well made decisions, but not by scare tactic. Abortion isn’t the right path for some, certainly, but the decision should be available to each woman, made of her own volition, considering her own circumstances, as she will be the one who has to live with the consequences, whatever they may be.
When women get desperate, they will turn to dangerous alternatives, as history has shown. While there may be exceptions, and counseling is a perfectly acceptable path in learning which recourse is best for each woman, personally, I don’t believe women come to the decision to have an abortion lightly. I know I did not.
I was sixteen and I was pregnant. I felt foolish for having been careless, but I knew that I did not want to have a baby. I never even told my best friend for fear of her judgement on my decision, but I never even considered having it. I wanted to finish high school. I wanted to go to college. I wanted to have life experiences beyond being pregnant in high school and raising a baby in, what would certainly be, less than ideal circumstances. Frankly, I wasn’t sure that I even wanted kids.
I spoke to my boyfriend and my mom. We all agreed that an abortion was our best option. I’m glad that I had that option. I was seven weeks pregnant and my mom took me to the clinic. The nurses and doctors were kind, considerate and non-judgemental. I was not traumatized. I do not daydream about what my child would have looked like. I did not need counseling afterwards and have always been at peace with my decision. I did not regret it then and I still do not regret making that choice today.
Does that make me a bad person? No. Was I selfish? Maybe. But I truly believe I did what was right for me and my future. Maybe being selfish in that decision was the best for everyone involved.
I was able to get my education. I was able to get life experiences. I had kids, but when I was ready-when I could have been the mother that they deserved, not some kid growing up with them. I am thankful that I had that choice and I will fight for women’s rights because I know that we deserve to be in charge of our bodies.
This Curvy Girl Guide Contributor wishes to remain anonymous.
Yes. We should all have the right to choose. The end.
In general I don’t feel like abortion is the right choice, I feel like there are options. HOWEVER, it’s not for me to decide what you or any other woman should or shouldn’t have the choice to do. I don’t judge anyone for making a hard choice and doing what they feel is right. My hope is that we all will continue to have the right to make the choice that is best for us in a safe, supported way, what ever that choice may be.
Yes! I’ve never been where you were, but I imagine 17yo me would have made a similar choice. More women need to come out and talk about their experiences with abortion so we can see the positive side of all of this.
I was in a very similar situation. I was 18 but still in high school. The clinic I went to did a sonogram and printed out the picture and gave it to me. I still have it 13 years later, and while I am at peace with my decision 100%, that picture haunts me and crushes my self-esteem. As someone who has experienced it first hand, the scare tactics are just cruel.
Why keep it if it haunts you? It clearly isn’t doing you any good. Maybe it’s time to let it go.
Thanks for sharing! I would have done the exact same thing you did…and I’m grateful we have the freedom to CHOOSE our path! xoxo
Your body. Your choice. And NO ONE has the right to choose for you. Like a pp said, it may not be the choice that I make, but it is my choice to vote pro-choice for all women. If my daughter, God forbid, is ever in a situation similiar to yours, I want her to have options for her future and I will continue to vote to protect those options.
I believe that a woman should fiercely defend her right to make her own choice in regards to her body. I, like you, became pregnant at a time and place that was not right for me. I was young, in college, and could not financially provide a stable and sound home setting for a baby. I chose abortion and have not regretted it at all. It doesn’t haunt me – it was an informed choice I made based on where I was in MY life. I was grateful that I could choose how to handle my situation that was best for me. People can judge all they want to – but when it comes down to it, I’d rather have abortion as an option for women who are not ready to be mothers, than have unfit, uneducated, unexperienced girls raising children.
I think the most important point you made was that women do not make reproductive decisions lightly. No one ever had an abortion because it seemed like a fun thing to do and gosh, I’ll just give that a try. Women know what abortion is, what it prevents, what it means. We do not need other people to make our decisions for us. We have as many brains in our heads as lawmakers, religious leaders, and Phyllis Schlafly.
I am proud of you for sharing your story in a public forum, albeit anonymously.
I am proud of you for making and following through with the decision that was best for you.
I am proud of you for going on to continue your education.
I am proud of you for the mom you are today.
Every woman is different and has a different story. Thank you for sharing yours.
I always find the Right to Choose debate equal parts maddening and interesting.
I applaud you for sharing YOUR story about YOUR choice. I think so many people forget that. Defending this right isn’t us forcing you to abort a baby, it doesn’t just happen to you, you don’t just slip on a banana peel and end up in an abortion clinic. This right is letting YOU make that choice for YOURSELF.
And never underestimate that choice, it’s not easy OR scary for girls and women who make it.
I also had an abortion. I was not a teenager. I was 20 or 21, (I can’t remember which) in college, and severely depressed. In fact, I was just a few months away from being hospitalized for it, though of course I didn’t know that at the time. I had been with my boyfriend for 2 years by that point, and we ALWAYS used protection. But it’s not 100%, and I found out I was pregnant at 8 weeks. I don’t regret it for a second. In fact, I don’t think about it much. Not because it wasn’t a difficult or serious decision, but because I KNOW I wouldn’t have been able to give the child up for adoption had I brought it to term, and that would’ve been the ultimate in bad decisions. I couldn’t even take care of myself. And my relationship was really screwed up and even verbally abusive at times. I pulled myself out of that horrible rabbit hole of depression, but I couldn’t have done it with a baby. If I hadn’t had the option of abortion, I probably would have taken my life. I had already tried a few times, and having to tell my parents that their fucked up daughter was now going to have a baby with a man they hated would’ve been too much.
I also think that, as a rape victim, I unconsciously sought out screwed up sexual relationships, which didn’t always include a caring or safe partner. So, while someone may think it’s horrible of a person to have an abortion, I would think that there are many women who, like me, are victims of sexual crimes that didn’t result in pregnancy from the crime, but perhaps from the drive of the emotional aftermath.
You’re very brave to share your story – thank you.
There are tons of children in the world already who are not looked after appropriately. Perhaps more attention should be turned to those kids and us women should be left alone to make decisions about our own bodies.
Thanks for sharing your story; I’m pleased you were able to go on to have more children of your own when you were ready. I wasn’t able to because of separate circumstances, but I’m the one who has to live with that, not some idiot holding a political seat.
please….how about…don’t have freaking sex if you can’t be responsible for the actions that could follow. You fail to mention that these babies…not fetuses have personalities in the womb..like thumb sucking, crying, even smiling. And many women who wanted an abortion and ended up not having one, never regret their decision for one moment. there are videos of abortions taking place and you can see the baby trying to get away from the suction with its tiny mouth open. You think they don’t feel pain? ….or fear? but of course nobody wants to think of that side of abortion. Its all about the person carrying the fetus right? Hello people do you know how hard it is to adopt a baby in the US? Huge process, there is tons of couples that want to adopt babies. Lets not be so self-centered and see the actual miracle of life. Don’t call me closed minded, cause I will tell you to free your mind, do some research on it first.
Just because someone made a mistake or because their contraception failed doesn’t mean they should be saddled with the “consequence” for the rest of their lives. And babies in the womb sucking their thumbs, smiling, etc, are not exhibiting “personalities,” they are exhibiting instincts, which is entirely different.
I certainly can believe that women who might have considered abortion but instead chose to have the baby are often happy they did so. That does not change the fact that, over and over, studies show that, by and large, women who have abortions are not emotionally scarred or traumatized by them. This is because they considered their options and made the best choice for them – there is no reason to regret anything. And I should know – I was 17 and a freshman in college when I made that choice. It’s not even close to the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. In fact, I don’t think of it as a terrible thing at all.
Yes, it’s difficult to adopt a baby in the United States. But don’t for one second think that outlawing abortion is the solution to that particular problem. The result is not going to be free babies for all the couples who want to adopt. The result is going to be thousands of unwanted children either languishing in foster care or living a life with a mother or parents who didn’t want them and aren’t equipped to to care for them.
If you don’t want an abortion, great – don’t get one. But don’t sit on your high horse and act like women who do need or want abortions are less than or selfish or immoral in some way. The freedom to choose is just that – everybody gets to make her own choice.
How is thumb sucking a personality trait? It’s not.
It’s not hard to adopt a child in this country based on lack of children to adopt. It’s hard because we have a rigorous set of circumstances in place to protect children.
My mind is opened. And yours is misinformed and judgmental.
You haven’t lived your entire life yet so don’t know if this will effect you still or not. Maybe not till you hold your first grand child. Aborting isn’t something that effects each person at the same time say 3 weeks post abortion or 5 years. You never know. It can also be effecting you and you don’t even see it. To think something like this hasn’t changed who you have become would be foolish. We are who we are because of every experience, decision and person we meet or don’t meet. I thank God for His forgiveness and allowing me to forgive myself and get out of the black pit I was in and I am looking forward to meeting my son/daughter one day in heaven.
I had an abortion.
Often I feel that there are a lot of qualifiers necessary to make it ok to say that – I can only say it if I was very young, or I was mentally ill, or I was in an abusive or otherwise unhealthy relationship or some other circumstance that makes it acceptable. Even people who have made this decision and are “ok” with it feel that there needs to be a qualifying explanation for it. These are all reasons to make this decision for yourself but I don’t know that hardship needs to be proven to have made this decision when it’s the right one for you.
In my case, none of these applied. I was 21, a reasonable age to have children. I was in a committed relationship with a man who I eventually married. We were using protection. I got pregnant anyway. I made the decision to terminate the pregnancy because I wanted to finish college and I don’t want to have children, simple as that. I’ve never regretted this decision or felt bad for it. I think an abortion is better than an unwanted child in all cases.
I applaud you for sharing your story and do NOt jugje you for your deciosion as it seems to have been the best option FOR YOU. However, it never ceases to amaze me how killing an innocent life, the most vulnerable human life, can be justified the way it is these days. No one can force a woman to carry a child she doesnt want but its seriously messed up how many seem to think that killing someone who didnt even choose to be on this earth is better than letting them have a chance at life with somebody else who desperately wants them. Can you imagine anyone more vulnerable than that little baby who stands no chance at all against those trying to murder it. Because no matter how much we try to sugar coat it thats what abortion is. MURDER. Almost all of the reasons cited for having an abortion that i have read have been purely selfish. Mother Theresa said that the these day the most dangerous place in the world for a baby is in its mother’s womb and she was absolutely right.
It rankles me no end to see this subject held up to us in the most obnoxious way as though there are only two choices: to make abortion available or not to make it available.
This is being done while we have an excellent third choice: the RU486 pill, the morning after pill. Technically it is a form of abortion, but how much better for everyone than having to wait while a precious life grows within.
I experienced abortion as a young woman; it was the right thing to do. It changed me forever and not in a good way, but I would never want to stop making it available.
We must never return to the illegal ways to abort. I can remember waiting in doctors’ offices to have a check-up after having the illegal procedure. And while there hearing about the young women who didn’t make it, who bled to death when they finally made it to the hospital.
I actually remember the wife-nurse of the gyn I was there to see post-procedure asking me for info on a safe doctor willing to perform an abortion. “No, don’t tell me,” she said. “Tell that girl sitting there.” She quietly whispered. “I can’t know about it.”
In effect, the waiting rooms became a clearing house for all the minutiae surrounding the illegal abortion experience of the early 60s. We were able to comfort each other with our shared experiences. THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!!!
I was in your same situation but slightly older. I had just turned 20 and was still in college. I’m 35 now with a 9 year old son and I don’t regret what I did. I don’t think about it, it doesn’t bother me. It wasn’t even a choice for me at the time. I was in no way ready to be a mother.
I wasn’t traumatized by the clinic, the nurses were nice, there were only a few protesters and they stayed back from the clini
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