Let me begin by saying I have a son, and his name is Lars.
Yeah, I totally understand the whole unique baby name thing, and I “get” it about people looking at you like you’re insane when you say, “My son’s name is Lars.” Sometimes, I’m still not even sure if I did the right thing when I named him. I joke that I was pregnant and hormonal, and I was tired of arguing with his father over naming him Brody or Lars.
And of course, now I know that some guy from Metallica is named Lars, and everyone thinks I must be a huge heavy metal fan or something.
I am not a fan of heavy metal.
But even with me, someone who should totally be sensitive to a unique baby name, I cannot wrap my brain around the latest crazy baby name.
On Saturday, it was reported that a mother named her newborn baby girl, “Hashtag Jameson.”
What. The. What?!
Twitter erupted with actual hashtags to express disgust with this baby’s name: #Foolishparents, #YourParentsHateYou and #StupidestNameEver.
It is still unclear if this is just a joke, or if this is for real and is the stupidest name ever. For this baby’s sake, I hope it’s a joke. I mean, I adore social media as much as the next guy, but I certainly won’t be naming my children “Retweet” (or “RT” for short) anytime soon. However, there was this dude in Egypt, Gamal Ibrahim, who named his baby girl “Facebook.” Which… COME ON, DUDE!
So what do you think? What are some ridiculous baby names that you’ve heard?
Given that her mother thinks she “weys” 8 pounds and how much she “luv”s her, I’m going to say it’s not a joke.
It’s cruel for the kid although she could’ve named her “Adolpha Hitler Jameson” or Jenna I guess would’ve been pretty bad given the last name, so I suppose it could be worse.
Does this mean I can name my next one R2D2?
My initial thought was the same as yours. Momma doesn’t seem to be the brightest bulb.
I work in a profession where I see “creative” names all the time. Some favorites:
Abcde
Dis’one
Dat’one
Menagerie
Kush
Working in photography has given me some trippy ones. Best ever?
Le-ah
Pronounced Le-dash-ah.
I got bitched at for 20 minutes because I got it wrong too.
My mom works at a hospital, and the best (and by best I mean craziest) ones she ever saw were two separate sets of twins. One set’s last name was Sheets. So they were named Linen and Percale. The second set’s last name was Pigg (come ON, as if having Pigg for your last name wouldn’t be hard enough!) and their first names were Ima and Ura. I can’t make this stuff up.
These parents are just setting their kids up to get bullied at school. That is just sad.
If the Egyptian one is true, it make make sense if you think about the whole Arab Spring movement. Social media was a big part of the whole uprising, and so Facebook could mean something important to them. At my job, I see a lot of strang names, too. Some are pretty cool though, first name Kimber, middle name Leigh.
I worked at a newspaper and part of my job was printing the schools’ honor rolls.
Best worst name ever? Starr Fish
I used to have neighbors with the last name of Sheets.
Several years ago, one of the sons named his daughter Satin.
On the plus side, I just tried to google her and she is pretty hard to find.
The Egyptian one makes sense to me, given the Arab spring role of social media. In Malawi, we met lots of kids named Blessings or America. Now, as a doctor my biggest complaint is people who name their twins things like Candy/Mandy or Kshawn and Kshane. Those people are being ridiculous.
My cousin named her daughter Holly, which is a name I truly love. But her surname is Day… That’s right, Holly Day. The kid was five years old before my cousin would admit that maybe it was a bit silly to have called her that!
Meredith, Lars is a cool name to give your son. I am just pleased that you and your husband had the self-restraint / intelligence not to name him Han
Ugh, I have to roll my eyes and shake my head sometimes! I have seen Shithead (Shi-thead) and a set of tiwns named Lemonjello and Orangejello (long a and o sounds)!
I’ve also seen Shithead. No matter how they change the pronunciation you know those parents knew exactly what they were doing.
From what I’ve read — Shithead is actually a middle eastern name. I expect that parents who chose it don’t understand the American cultural implications.
if they were of a different culture i could understand that. maybe some that people have seen are. in this case however, that just doesn’t apply.
Well, that’s just unfortunate for the kid, then
I’ve seen it spell Shit’head… and I’ve also seen Dementia… and that when you ask how do you pronounce your name???
i worked as a sub at a special needs school for a while…met a girl with the last name Key…and her parents named her Lock Ann
I once worked with a programmer with the last name of Barbee. He named his daughter Kennan. He had originally wanted to name her Malibu, but his wife threatened him with castration by pipe wrench.
I live in Tennessee. Some good friends of the family are ridiculous UT fans. So what did they name their daughter? Penelope Orange-Ann White. When she got married she refused to change her last name because she is so proud to be a UT fan.
I work for Early Intervention and there were twins who were named: Orangejello and Lemonjello (pronounced: O raang jelo and Le mon jelo) no joke – I mean, seriously! What are parents thinking these days????
I ran into the same twin names when I worked at a health insurance company in TX. I thought it was a joke but called the hospital to confirm. Just so wrong.
The two I have heard are as follows:
A woman thought the hospital had named her child “Fa-Mal-Lay” spelled Female.
Second is Le-ah pronounced “La-Dash-ah”
Really?! You have to give a blood and urine sample along with an in home visit to adopt a gerbal now a days but they will just give anyone a baby.
It is true – when I think of the name Lars, I think of Metallica.
I was at the park with my son when he was young. Suddenly I hear a mother yell, “Lucifer? Lucifer, get over here right now!” I’m not even playing.
And I love the name Lars.
Signed,
Zane’s mom
I know of a grown man who adopted Astroman as his given name.
I question the validity of the Hashtag kid though… if it’s a girl, why is it wearing all blue?
Not that a baby girl can’t wear blue… and with a ‘name’ like Hashtag clearly her parents shirk most traditions… but no one seems to think it odd, I’m all for gender neutral things and all, just seems odd to me is all.
Well, these aren’t strange, but I’ve heard of a woman who named her boys Juan Carlos and John Charles. Cousins of mine thought to name their son Justin Case, which gave me the giggles.
My uncle is a pharmacist and he has this story of a time he was sorting out a prescription and he is a double take on the name of the script. It was Shithead Ebanks. He wasn’t quite sure how it was pronounced so he called out Miss S Ebanks.
Turned out it was pronounced Sha-teed.
Also when I worked in insurance I had a lady call up to make a car insurance claim. Her name was Mrs Wank. How I ever got through that phone call without laughing is beyond me.
I think Lars is a great name.
My husband and I are trying to come up with boy and girl names for our baby due in March and its really hard!
Ha! Just though if another epic tale.
In 2010 I started a new job and was in training when the instructor was telling a story about his trip to the supermarket the night before.
His wife has sent him to get some bread and there was a small kid down one end of the aisle and her mother at the other end.
All of the sudden the mother shouts out (in a proper east London cockney accent) “Chardonnay! Chardonnay! Come ‘ere now!” And the kid didn’t budge, instead shook its head.
So the mother shouts out “Jesus Christ! Chardonnay! I said come ‘ere right now! Chardonnay!” And the kid shakes its head, so the mother shouts back “oh f*ck yourself then!” And stormed off!!
Someone else this week posted in my twitter stream that they overheard a woman say to her toddler in her pushchair “serenity, seriously now, shut the f*ck up!”
It’s scary that some people are allowed to even have kids, much less the stupid names they give them!
I look at some of these and just think WTH?! They must be made up. And Le-ah must be more popular than I realized. A good friend of mine’s sister is a local teacher. She calls me up every year after her sister gets her new roster and that was one of the names two years ago.
I felt kinda bad for Cady (rhymes with lady) because I know people will spell her name wrong probably her entire life (Katie), but it is a family name so it least it has some meaning and is an actual real name. She’s named after my mother in law.
I work in the Insurance industry as well, and I once had to call Mrs. Hore to discuss her husband’s life insurance. I also had a Trach which I thought should haven been pronounced “Trah”, but had to be pronounced as trash!
I went to school with a girl named Quai’shai Shaw. (Pronounced Qwah-Shay Shaw) and a boy named Daewoo…yes, like the car. I met twins named Aaron and Erin. A lady I work with was gonna name her daughters Tianna and Tionna (T-ana and Ty-anna)
As a teacher, I have heard them all…Britanny’s, Courtney’s and Tiffany’s. As I live on the West Coast , I have had a Cedar, a Wren,a River, a Leaf, then there’s the Aidans,the Madisons, the Jaydens,Liams,the Kaylees,the Katies,Lola, the Jacobs,the Isaiahs, isn’t anyone named Tom or Susie anymore?
There’s a little girl that grew up in Kansas with the first name Metallica. She was in the paper and would have been born around the time of the Black album.
She’d be about 20 now and I’m sure she’s loving life.
Sad but true. (sorry, I had to)
No. Freaking. Way.
on my good friends’ dad worked as a car salesman. his name was mike hunt. he said it was always funny to hear them call for him over the loudspeaker at work.
Hahaha!
and don’t forget we went to church with joe dick
I once knew a lady named Aquanetta…like the cheap hairspray. She had issues.
Oh there was also a guy named Rock Music.. no lie
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