Some Like It Curvy: Sex With Your Ex

by Meredith on December 21, 2012

in Sex & Relationships

Some like it curvy: Sex with your ex

Exes.

Like a bad Taylor Swift song, they just seem to pop up every now and again.

They’re like riding a bike. Or an emotional roller coaster. One or the other.

But regardless, sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where our ex is present and we don’t have any pants on. No? Only I’ve found myself in that situation?

Okay, so I think a lot of us have found ourselves in this situation. So let’s dive right into the pros and cons of hooking up with an old flame.

PROS

He knows how you like it.

Let’s face it. It’s not easy teaching someone to move it a little to the left all over again. And this guy had magic fingers. And a big you know what. He knows what you like, and he knows how to being out your best O face.

Research suggests that it’s healthy.

Researchers at the University of Arizona looked at post-breakup psychological adjustment and ongoing contact among 137 married adults who had recently separated. As you’d expect, people who accepted the breakup were generally better adjusted while those who still pined for it weren’t.  So those who can mentally handle it, had a better sense of well being post-ex-hook-up.

You’re not adding another notch to the ‘ol bedpost.

You’ve been there and done that. So why not do it again? You don’t feel bad about adding to your now growing list of conquests.

CONS

You become emotionally attached all over again.

For me, sex is an emotional experience. Sure, sometimes we all need to get our rocks off. But for me, I like the whole connection of it all. I like to feel like we just walked through paradise together and we shall now be together forever.

I know this about myself. Which is why hooking back up with an old flame is super risky. I’ll get hurt.

You stop meeting other people.

When your ex becomes your go-to late night booty call, you stop having other booty calls. From new people.

And when you stop meeting new people, you start falling back into the old swing of things. And when you start falling back into the old swing of things, you stop being awesome. And when you stop being awesome, you just sort of get sad.

The past comes up again. And again. And again.

There’s a reason you burned all of his clothes in the front yard.

Do you really want to deal with this dude again? Do you really want to let these feelings resurface? Because you know you’ll just end up feeling terrible about yourself, while sitting on the couch and eating ice cream from the container.

My Advice

I’m not judgy. You do what you want. If you can emotionally handle the hooking up, do it.

But my best advice to you is to use protection (you don’t know where that thing has been since you’ve had it), remember that it’s just sex (so no more expectations of dating each other), and make sure you’re really ready for the potential of emotional baggage.

So tell me, have you had sex with your ex? What advice would you give?

Want more Some Like It Curvy articles? Check out Sex Videos: Yay or Nay? and I’ve Lost My Sex Drive!

 

Alan December 21, 2012 at 10:23 am

My 2p: they’re an “ex” for a good reason. A few minutes’ gratification isn’t worth slicing old wounds open again. And the wounds WILL get sliced open. It takes longer for them to heal every time they’re reopened.

Kendra December 21, 2012 at 11:19 am

I’ve done this twice. Once was with someone I was seeing but wasn’t really highly attached to. That was fine but the sex was never really that good anyway, so it kind of just passed the time.

The other time was far too soon after the end of the relationship and I had been really in love with him. It was always mindblowing with him, and this time was no exception, but it ripped open every single wound I’d had over losing him again.

So, it really depends on the situation. I’d probbably be able to sleep with either of them again at this point and be fine, except that the first one would just be a waste of time.

Sandoremi December 22, 2012 at 10:19 pm

I was not prepared for the coarseness of the language used in this article. But in many ways, the photo of the young model accompanying the article prepares one for such inelegant crassness.

The expression on her face has no glimmer of delicacy, a quality I find necessary for true eroticism. Somehow the collegial humor approached in this article never quite hits the target. Perhaps a writer with more intelligence or wit…

Jeanne December 23, 2012 at 9:40 pm

I’ve done it a few times, but only with guys who were really great in bed. Like you said… He knows what you like…

That said, I did it with one guy that I had been head-over-heels in love with, and old attachments re-formed and my heart got broken, all over again.

My advice: do it if you want to, but make sure it’s not someone that you would like to get back together with. He’s still the same guy he was when you broke up.

Amber December 26, 2012 at 3:02 pm

I’m sorry…coarseness of language? What? “Sex”? “O face”? I guess I have a different meaning for coarse language.

Great article Meredith. Did it once…big mistake for me. I loved him, and it felt like breaking up again even though I said it was a just a one time thing. Live and learn.

Sarah January 1, 2013 at 11:30 am

New years eve (last night) my ex was there, he did not want to have sex. I woke up this morning hungover but glad he said no. Little bit of an ego bruise, but I did break up with him for a reason.

Great article, I’ve just come across this site. And no, you are not alone with the pants scenario.

Happy New Year from Dublin

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: