Like a bad Taylor Swift song, they just seem to pop up every now and again.
They’re like riding a bike. Or an emotional roller coaster. One or the other.
But regardless, sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where our ex is present and we don’t have any pants on. No? Only I’ve found myself in that situation?
Okay, so I think a lot of us have found ourselves in this situation. So let’s dive right into the pros and cons of hooking up with an old flame.
He knows how you like it.
Let’s face it. It’s not easy teaching someone to move it a little to the left all over again. And this guy had magic fingers. And a big you know what. He knows what you like, and he knows how to being out your best O face.
Research suggests that it’s healthy.
Researchers at the University of Arizona looked at post-breakup psychological adjustment and ongoing contact among 137 married adults who had recently separated. As you’d expect, people who accepted the breakup were generally better adjusted while those who still pined for it weren’t. So those who can mentally handle it, had a better sense of well being post-ex-hook-up.
You’re not adding another notch to the ‘ol bedpost.
You’ve been there and done that. So why not do it again? You don’t feel bad about adding to your now growing list of conquests.
You become emotionally attached all over again.
For me, sex is an emotional experience. Sure, sometimes we all need to get our rocks off. But for me, I like the whole connection of it all. I like to feel like we just walked through paradise together and we shall now be together forever.
I know this about myself. Which is why hooking back up with an old flame is super risky. I’ll get hurt.
You stop meeting other people.
When your ex becomes your go-to late night booty call, you stop having other booty calls. From new people.
And when you stop meeting new people, you start falling back into the old swing of things. And when you start falling back into the old swing of things, you stop being awesome. And when you stop being awesome, you just sort of get sad.
The past comes up again. And again. And again.
There’s a reason you burned all of his clothes in the front yard.
Do you really want to deal with this dude again? Do you really want to let these feelings resurface? Because you know you’ll just end up feeling terrible about yourself, while sitting on the couch and eating ice cream from the container.
I’m not judgy. You do what you want. If you can emotionally handle the hooking up, do it.
But my best advice to you is to use protection (you don’t know where that thing has been since you’ve had it), remember that it’s just sex (so no more expectations of dating each other), and make sure you’re really ready for the potential of emotional baggage.
So tell me, have you had sex with your ex? What advice would you give?