Step One: Moan a little.
Step Two: Shift your hips around and point your right toe (but, like, in a sexy way).
Step Three: Arch your back.
Step Four: Kegel, kegel, kegel…
Step Five: Loudly yell, “Oh, God! Oh, God! Yes! Yes! Yes!”
Just kidding! Let’s talk about this girls!
Repeat after me:
I, [insert your name], vow to never fake an orgasm again. My rocks are worth getting off, just as he feels his rocks are worth getting off.
We are all guilty of this. We want the sex to be done. We fake it so he feels better about himself. Or we simply don’t know how to express what we want in bed, so we moan a little and call it a night.
Men are like children.
Can we all agree on this? Men are like children, and we have become accustomed to just giving into them so they don’t throw a temper tantrum. Nothing is more un-sexy than a man whining to you about not being able to please you. So we do this thing we do to protect their sensitive little egos.
But those days are gone, ladies. Not everyone gets a trophy just for playing. If they don’t perform, from this day forward, they need to know.
I asked my buddy, Ken, what he thought about the faking an orgasm. And, ladies, it was pretty eye opening.
Can you tell when a woman is faking an orgasm?
No, not if she is good. I honestly have never had a woman tell me she has had to fake one with me, but then again I might never know. I think most guys want to believe we really made it happen so we are more likely to accept a fake as real. Make sense?
Girls, we are so good at faking them, that the man-folk can’t even tell! Does this outrage you as much as it outrages me?
What if she doesn’t have one with you? And she is faking it to make you feel better, would that make you sad? Or do boys even care after they’ve got their rocks off?
No I suppose some guys don’t care but I am not one of them. Here is the deal, I like a woman to orgasm first, then me. The time a woman spends faking an orgasm, she could be telling her partner what he or she needs to do. I would rather it be honest.
Okay, so now we know that most boys do care if we are satisfied. And they want us to tell them what we need.
I think a lot of us fake it to protect your manly egos. Would it hurt your feelings to know your lady didn’t climax?
Most guys want a road map. Yes, we have egos , but real men, they don’t get all bent. They work harder. Look, for me, there is nothing more powerful and full of sexual energy than when a woman has an orgasm and communicates what she wants me to do to get her there.
So there you have it. All we need to do is just explain where “a little to the left” actually is located, tell him to slow down with all the jabbing, explain that sometimes hair pulling is fantastic, and have him focus on 10 o’clock and 2 o’clock during foreplay.
No more orgasm faking. If we are not to the point of explosion, we are going to tell our lover what we need. And if he can’t achieve what we need, then he doesn’t get the mental cookie anymore.
2013 is going to be our year of pleasure, ladies.
Have you faked an orgasm? And if so, why?
image credit Castle Rock Entertainment