My kids were born with stork bites, which is just a cutesy term for birthmarks on their faces. They are on the forehead and trail down from the hairline straight down to their noses. They are pink in color, but with a rise in their emotions, they turn a deep red. They remind me of their sweet newborn cries and baby giggles.
Some have faded, some have not. My daughter asked me the other day if she could cover one up with makeup. My heart sank, but I understood it. I can see the insecurities setting in from standing out and for looking different. But I love their birthmarks. It makes them unique and—in my eyes—part of what makes them gorgeous. Someday, I hope they can be more accepting of these as distinctive and part of their identity instead of reaching for the concealer.
Identifying marks, whether from birth, surgery, or simple mishap carry tales of memories, experiences, journeys, and survival. Though we may try to conceal them, they are part of what makes us. The story that goes with them are part of our story.
When I was three, I ventured head-first down a slide and landed on the concrete. This resulted in several stitches in my chin. I have divots on my forehead from my bout with chicken pox. My shins have faint scars several inches in length from my I think I’ll shave, how hard could it be? phase when I was nine. I’m reminded of my mom telling me not to pick a cruel recurring zit on my nose during my teen years by the acne scar that’s now in its place. My hips and stomach are covered in deep waves of stretch marks from an expanding fetus five times over, some silvery and aged, some fresh and pink.
My scars, birthmarks, blemishes and everything that I consider imperfections are a road map of my life and a visual reminder of my history.
I find, too often, that we try to cover up the truth. We are always on a search for a roomy shirt that doesn’t hug the wrong places and pants that don’t draw attention to unsightly bulges. We hide behind make-up applied just so. We spend too much on creams that will improve our skin or get rid of wrinkles. All those attempts at illusion can get exhausting.
Project Real has been an effort to embrace who we are with no more errs, a lesson in honesty and acceptance. It has been an invitation for everybody to share their reality and own it.
We’ve been real about our weight, we’ve shared our insecurities and flaws and we’ve even bared it all in our swimsuits for all to see. It has been scary. It has been overwhelming.But it has been liberating.
Today, we’re taking it another step further. We are sharing our scars, birthmarks, stretch marks, moles, and freckles. Insecurities be damned! We are telling our story and we want you to tell us yours. Let’s be comfortable in our own skin, even if that skin is pockmarked.
Tena: They’re not pretty and I’m not about to pull out the two piece swimsuit anytime soon, butyou know what? I earned my stretch marks.
Katie: This is the scar from brain and spinal surgery I had 3.5 years ago. My surgeon also elected to shave the entire bottom part of my head for the surgery and while my hair grew back people often made comments about the scar and about the haircut, not realizing that it wasn’t one I chose. But over time I’ve gotten used to it, and embraced it as a part of my history. I wear my hair up all the time now and if people notice, I’m happy to share my story.
Angie: Being a skin model was never something I aspired to achieving. My first stretch marks appeared on my hips when I was about 14-years-old. I discovered them on my arms at 16 when I weighed under 120 pounds. As I’ve aged and grown up and out, the red-turned-purple-turned-shiny striations have popped up pretty much everywhere you can think. These stretch (birth) marks on my stomach are what was left after being pregnant twice in 18 months.
Allison: I (my face) got attacked by a dog when I was 4 years old. I remember my doctor saying I could have them fixed when I got older. Over the years, my scars faded a little and, more than that, I learned to love them. They are as much a part of me as my nose is. And, oddly enough, I still love dogs.
Brittany: This used to be a butterfly. I was 15. I was eager to be an adult and independent, so I laid on the kitchen table of my best friend and let her uncle give me my very first tattoo. I hid it until I was almost 18, and within 2 months of my father discovering it, it was removed by a plastic surgeon. Cut out. Left with this. Some days I think I still see the butterfly. I’ve gotten three tattoos since, but I still miss my first.
Own your scars, own your signs of life lived and chances taken.
We welcome you to share those marks that make you, you, with us here today!
I love this! I have actually been working on something about my scars too. I have a few! I swear it is like you ladies are in my head sometimes! =)
we have a direct line feeding us your brilliant ideas, yes, we do. Thank you for the help!
LMAO! You just write it better!
I have stretch marks from my pelvic region all the way up to my boobs. My sister tells me they look like the Nile River Delta. Ive had them on my boobs since I sprouted into a C-cup overnight in 6th grade. Got them on my arms, hips, thighs and the backs of my knees.
I have a scar above my eyebrow from where I got stitches when I was 5. Scars on my shin and knee from where I fell up the brick porch steps a few months ago. scars on my stomach from having my gallbladder removed…and a scar on each thigh. almost identical, from where I cut myself with scissors.
I dont hide any of them. I have a story, whether funny or sad, for each one. I dont hide my stretchmarks because they “are the sign of a real woman.”
agreed 100%- I love the stories. Thanks for sharing!
Scars are totally sexy.
See: Jason Momoa http://pinterest.com/pin/79538208/
KHAL DROGO = SEXXXXXXY.
*ahem*
my son has one in his eyebrow JUST like that from stitches when he was 2, and since he is my son, it is distinguished and handsome.. not sexy.
I have about a 2 inch scar on my left breast, about an inch above the nipple, I got from a lumpectomy 3 years ago. There’s a nice divot there also where they removed the mass and surrounding tissue. Thankfully, it was benign but that scar is a daily reminder of what could have been. It’s not quite as noticeable these days but the scar has always bothered me. That was what actually concerned me most about having the surgery – that my beautiful bewbs would be damaged – that I was now damaged. It didn’t matter that I’ve had a few other surgeries or have other scars. This one really bothers me.
Luckily, my fiance doesn’t care. He says it only shows I survived. I sure love that man.
You’re not damaged, you’re human.
Yay for benign and a great man.
i have one, too!
Luca had a HUGE stork bite! Still shows up when he gets pissed off.
Yes! Sometimes I piss them off just to see it.
I have a stork bite that is a giant V – my husband calls it my pissed off barometer. If he sees it, he runs the other way. One of my girls was born with it too. She is 3 now and it’s mostly faded – but I know her moods too
I also had a huge birthmark on my arm that was removed when I was 18 and now I have a big scar. Same daughter was born with a birthmark on her arm, just on the opposite side. Strange.
I have a scar under my nose that snakes down toward my lip. It’s always been there. I have no idea how I got it. My parents have no idea how I got it. It just is. I also have stretch marks on my boobs because they swell to the size of watermelons every month. Neither of these things really bother me. What does bother me is the really ugly hang tag on my back and the freckles across my shoulders. During the summer I’ll see women in their back baring tops and dresses, and I’ll admire their lovely skin & sometimes I think I would just look so much better if I didn’t have all these freckles and that ugly mole. Other times I just think screw it. I like my freckles … but the mole has to go.
I vote for “screw it”. Moles can be way chic.
My scar is quite literally that – scar tissue. A keloid (excess growth of scar tissue). I hate it and it’s on my ear near my piercing so it’s noticeable with my hair up and it makes my earrings very uneven. I don’t think most people know what it is, so it makes me self-conscious even though it isn’t that bad. It makes me not want to wear my hair-up, which, long-term, makes me wonder what I’ll do with my hair when I get married someday. Stupid, vain worries (although it does have physical pain sometimes too). So, I try to accept it and be okay with it since I can’t do very much about it.
Stupid vain worries, indeed.
Elegant Side bun/ponytail. Totally gorgeous way of doing your hair and the asymmetrical lines look perfect on every woman I’ve ever met!
Thanks for the great suggestion!!
Katie, I used to be a body piercer and depending on the location and growth, they can be removed without hardcore drastic measures. *IF* it’s bothering you that much
Sounds to me that your keloid is the result of your piercing which is common for some people. Try massaging some tea tree oil on it (pending it’s healed of course) and that will help break down the scar tissue.
Steph – It’s right against the piercing. It was removed once, but as with keloids – it grew back slowly over time and it’s back to where it was a few years later. The doctor wasn’t so sure why it developed so long after the piercing, and the way it did. It may have been from added trauma later on. I try to never touch it or it gets especially irritated, itchy, and painful.
Do you know anyone who has tried the tree oil with a keloid and not just regular scar tissue?
Katie, I have a keloid on the outside of my upper thigh from a little fatty lump I had cut out a few years ago. The lump was benign but grossed me out so I had it removed anyway, and the keloid resulted. Sometimes I think it serves me right. But I’m right there with you and I can’t wear a swimsuit or prance around in my underwear in front of my fiance without showing it off, and it frequently itches badly.
So thank you, Steph, for the suggestion!
Jordan – Ahh, don’t hide it from your fiance at least! He loves you.
My ear is driving me crazy this week. Have you had any other keloids and/or a doctor who has given you any good advice? I worry about getting more and what to do with this stupid thing. What if I have surgery someday? Childbirth? Oh, anything!! And I refuse to always wear my hair down, so I can’t hide mine.
Hmm, lets’ see…
Stretch Marks- Arms, Boobs, Stomach, Things, Hips- from weight gain/losses, boobs getting huge ata youngish age, pregnancy
A very small hang tag on y neck, a bigger one on my side
Scars- One on my knee from a deep cut from falling on a rock, a smaller one under that from a scrape, Scars from 4 mole removals (chest, back, side, chin), chicken pix scar between my eyebrows, a small line on my wrist from a dog scratch,
And then the biggie scars- C-Section (Oct 2010), Hernia Repair (Dec 2010), and Gallbladder removal (Feb 2011), that was a rough 6 months!
Tena, that was beautifully written. Just thought you should know that. xo
I have a very brown and very round birth mark on my right elbow. It started off very tiny (smaller than a freckle) when I was toddler/child and then grew to be what it is now the size of an M&M. In grammar school I was very self conscious of it and whenever we’d take pictures, I’d cover it with my left hand going across my chest to my right elbow or wear long sleeves. Since high school, I’ve embraced it and more often than not, forget it’s even there.
I have plenty of acne marks on my face that still bother me but there are times when my husband especially or family and friends are loving on and enjoying my company that I totally forget the flaws on my face and on my body — those times feel incredibly wonderful.
Thank you for this! It is a beautiful reminder that scars and all are what make each of us unique. I have way too many to mention, from stretch marks on the calves of my legs from the edema during pregnancy to the incisions made in my neck for thyroid cancer! Now I have new ones on my back and they are truly a reminder of where I have been!
My baby boy (who’s now almost 5) has a birthmark on his left thumb that goes up his wrist. It’s a nevus, so it’s a raised birthmark, very different from your typical baby birthmarks. I love that birthmark. It’s part of what makes him unique and special, and we make sure he never feels weird about it. I hope and pray that he is never teased about it.
I shared on facebook but will here also..
I have 4 scars on my chest that look a little like starbursts…where I had central lines put in for chemo. I have a huge scar on my wrist from where one of the chemos I had turned out to be a burner and shouldnt have been given intraveinously. When I was 17 I was diagnosed with a terminal cancer…they gave me 2 weeks to live. That was 13 years ago. I have c-section scars…where after 7 years of fertility treatment they told me I couldnt have kids…only to get pregnant on my own with no meds no treatments twice. Scars are signs of living…I will wear them with pride. The other day my 2 year old was looking at my chest and said mommy what are those. I said those are from where mommy was sick a long time ago. He kissed each one…and said I am glad your all better I love you…at that moment..I was so thankful for those scars…I wouldnt want it any other way. After this post and reading what others have posted I feel even more empowered by them…we are Scarred Chicks…a sisterhood of living Warriors…and I am proud to be even a small part of it.
Best comment ever! That’s fabulous. Thank you SO much for sharing.
This comment made me cry. What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks guys….
Best post for sure. You rock those scars girl – we earn each one. Signs of Life indeed.
I want to cry with this post. Because, while I get what you’re doing, and I have plenty of scars, plenty more stretch marks, I still can’t help but wanting to be rid of some of them. Everyone on here is so beautiful, but on those harsh, hard days, even I can’t be so accepting of myself. I have a cute little frowny face of a scar at the bottom of my belly button from one surgery, an appendectomy scar, a scar on my finger from slicing through chicken one day and hitting skin and a large c-section scar from my last child. All of them I can deal with, but the aftermath of the destruction of my abdomen that came with the last one, I seriously have days when I want to cut it off.
Scarring and stretching is a touchy subject for most women. I applaude you for searching for and finding it’s brighter side.
Self-acceptance is a journey for everyone at their own pace. Believe me, I have never shown these before this, and I don’t plan to wear midriff shirts (are those still even a thing?) like EVER AGAIN. But my girls have started showing an insecurity about freckles and discolorations on their skin. Just like with weight, I feel I have to start practicing what I preach, and sometimes you just gotta be OK with it.
That’s not to say that on some days I don’t wish I could afford to get it cut out, but hey, we’re human.
I hope you can find the brighter side, too.
No, I promise you middriff shirts are no longer a thing.
But thanks for the kind words. Finding a brighter side is mostly something I can do, but on those bad days….look out.
Ugh, now I keep on picturing Stephanie Tanner from Full House. Middriff shirts were bad. Baaaad. Like acid washed jean skirts with the fabric frills on them. Oy.
lovely post. this open discussion and sharing of scars is so important to removing the stigma of stretchmarks/birth marks/scars. thank you!
i had a huge lump removed and as a result have a long scar around my nipple. oddly enough, it doesn’t really bother me. the surgeon was amazing and it’s a reminder of my wonderful luck that it was benign.
This article is fabulous!! I have stretch marks from being pregnant, when boyo decided to grow really super fast (so fast that I measured two centimeters beyond the maximum allowed at that appointment). I was exhausted and starving and my belly hurt, then, all of a sudden – BAM! there they were, in all their glory. Along with the stretched skin. I’ve lost weight since he was born, but my tummy skin is still a little baggy and wrinkled and I still have those stretch marks. And I’ll still wear a bikini because dammit, I’ve worked hard to get my body where it is, and although it’s a work in progress, I’m proud of how much work I’ve done and how strong I am. And I’m very, very proud of growing my little boy for those nine months, and continuing to nourish him to this day. I refuse to apologize or feel badly for any pregnancy related scars
I have a huge scar that runs from my palm to the knuckle of my thumb. It reminds me that while clumsiness is an innate trait of mine, I shouldn’t be careless. Carelessness results in stitches, not being able to have the full range of motion of you hand for months, and years later still not having complete feeling in the top of your thumb. It’s pretty kickass looking though…
My favorite scar is my mom’s. She was born with a cleft palate, so she doesn’t have a “center part” to her lips so to speak. At birth she had to have surgery to correct the cleft, so the line that should run from the center of her mouth to her nose, runs diagonally to the right. It’s in all of her childhood pictures, and she’s always been insecure about it. When I was little, I thought she had the prettiest smile, since all the books I read were about girls with “crooked smiles” and I was sure that’s what it meant!
I had a cyst on my lung and heart a few years ago that needed to be removed at the age of 23! I have a huge scar from the actual surgery plus additional scars from the chest tube. Then I have a huge ring around the whole scar that looks like a burn mark from getting MRSA! Shortly after surgery. Last year I had my daughter via c-section with complication so I now have a scar from one hip all the way to the other. I HATED them! My husband always tried to tell me they looked cool! But nothing helped! This past February my daughter(was 9 months old at the time) had her club foot repaired only then to have complications aslo!(Have I mentioned how much we hate surgery!) She had the very tips of her second and third toes removed and they scar on the back of her foot is even more pronounced then it should of been. But I look at all she went through at such a young age and how beautiful she still is and always will be! A scar just shows what you have been through and shows that you made it! I make sure to tell my daughter every single night how beautiful she is and kiss her feet and toes! I want her to know that she should NEVER have to hide her scars!
Oh CGG. Don’t you just come along at exactly the right time? In two weeks I will have been “sick” for four years. An autoimmune disease, or two, maybe. Part of it is a rash. It started out on my right forearm, the underside, so I wasn’t too worried about it, but now it’s ALL of my left leg, from ankle to hip, slowly creeping up onto my stomach. I could handle all of that. The only person who usually sees that much of my skin accepts every single bit of me, and says “You’re still the most beautiful girl on the planet to me.” when I complain about it. But now it’s sneaking up my neck. Super visible. I have long hair, so I can hide it, but now my pretty hair, my one thing about my body I really, really love, is falling out, becoming super dull, and just generally hard to maintain on “sick” days. So I’m cutting it off – donating it, as I have several times before.
Thank you for making it easier to accept the changes and the new me.
Love this article, Tena, and the comments are truly inspiring!
I am riddled with stretch marks from two pregnancies and a c-section scar to add that nice finishing touch. For the first year of my son’s life I was devastated by my new body, but since then I’ve learned to accept them. They are evidence of the incredible process my body went through to bring the two most important people into my life. How could I feel ashamed of that?
I too, have a few scars. Some are major, some are minor. I love most of my scars. The reasons behind them are fairly boring so at time’s I make up something fun so that’s the best part. Any suggestions for an exciting story would be appreciated!
I have a scar from a particularly bad rabbit bite on the skin between my thumb and index finger. It’s actually shaped like a lightning bolt so I call it my Harry Potter scar
I also recently got a nasty burn from a photographer light bulb on the back of my hand (the same as the rabbit bite.) It bubbled for days. Now, 5 months later I am left with a almost heart shaped half dollar sized mark. My friend suggested that if it doesn’t go away to get it outlined into a heart with a tattoo. If I wasn’t so afraid of needles perhaps I’d consider it!
My worst scar is from a surgery I had in second grade on my bladder/kidney. I was left with a c-section scar. It has faded over time, but, whenever somebody sees it, I get questioning looks. I hate those looks.
Tena, have you told your daughter that the birthmark makes her beautiful and unique? Have you shared with her the thoughts you’ve shared with all of us? That could make a big difference to her.
I am covered in freckles, and they come out in spades in the summer time. When I was a child, they were primarily on my face, but as I’ve grown into adulthood they’ve spread to cover my arms, shoulders, sternum and legs. The only parts of me that have escaped the freckle invasion are my boobs, my butt and my torso – essentially, the only parts of my body that have never been exposed to the sun.
While I was growing up, my mother continually told me how much she loved my freckles, how lucky I was to have such beautiful freckles, and that they made me look just like little orphan Annie (I was obsessed with Annie), and as a result I never felt bad about my freckles. So much so, that when another girl in high school said to me, “You know, if you wore makeup you could cover up those freckles” without even thinking about it, I responded, “Why in the world would I ever want to do that? I like my freckles. They’re part of who I am. Why would I want to cover me up?” She made some comment about how she could never leave the house without makeup because she hated for her freckles to show, and I just thought, well that sucks for you, doesn’t it?
I still to this day wear makeup infrequently, and when I do it’s always very sheer so that my freckles can still shine through. And I have several scars from childhood injuries and such, but I don’t even see them anymore – they’re just part of my personal landscape.
My son has a VERY large portwine stain on his face. He loves it. He told me “but if I have it removed, I won’t be Styles anymore” when he was 4 and at the age of (almost) 10, he still stands by that. I have enormous stretch marks on my hips (not my belly thank goodness) from my 3 pregnancies and I’m not ashamed of them. They are a mark of what I carried for a total of 27 months and I love them.
I have many scars. My face has a few from the battles with acne. My legs have many from my tomboy childhood. I have two, one on each knee, from when my husband and I were first dating. We had gone for a bike ride and I thought he said we were going straight – but really he had said to turn. So he turned…right into my front wheel. Sent me skidding across the pavement. He felt so awful, but he jumped off his bike and immediately tended to me.
I have a loooong c-section scar [vertical] from my “urgent” first c-section, my sweet and sassy 6-year old daughter. The same scar was re-opened for my second child, my charming, adorable 3-year old son. I have boat loads of stretch marks as well, complements of both. Stretchmarks adorn my inner thighs too – thanks to some hormonal issues in college that caused me to gain quite a bit of weight, and I have a few scars in some very, ahem, private areas due to a boil/acne condition that raged out of control for quite a few years.
I have freckles. I have ‘age spots’. I have a few moles – all due to skin trauma. Bee stings mostly. But each has a story. Bees and me, we have a long history. Heh. The only things I’ve had removed were two skin tags that were bordering on painful, and two moles – also irritated/painful.
When I was PG with my son I had a friend come and do a photo shoot for me – big ol’ belly, scars, stretch marks, and all. They are beautiful.
My scars (some quite obvious, like the missing right thumb from a battle with malignant melanoma) and my stretchmarks don’t bother me…
What bothers me is my moderately-severe rosacea (which makes me look like I have a perpetual sunburn on my face and chest); and the skin tags that are on my neck (there are several).
Of course, being moderately obese shows that I have emotional and/or psychological scars, to most of society. Though my weight is less about how much I eat (I really don’t eat that much) and more about how little exercise I get. But, no one except those closest to me knows this.
I LOVED this post! I’ve got more stretch marks than hair and being Asian, I’ve got a ton of hair. I’ve got a male friend who has been trying to get me to realize that real men love real women, scars and all. It’s working and this post was just more reinforcement!
I’ve always loved my scars – then again, I was the little girl who couldn’t stop picking at every scab… My favorite scar reminds me how precious my life is and how lucky I am. I had heart surgery when I was 10 days old and that scar has grown up with me. It stretches from under my boob to halfway acros my back. I am proud of that scar because it makes people think I’m pretty badass. And even though it was a fairly minor heart surgery it reminds me how tough I am, how I started out as a fighter from day one. It’s like my secret superpower!
I have a HUGE scar on my side running from belly to back from when I was a kid. Over the years it has seen the light of day when a top has ridden up or what have you and people gasp and ask what happened.
I tell them it was a knife fight. Telling them it was a birthmark removal due to potential melanoma gone bad because my skin keloids just isn’t as much fun as the shock and awe on their faces…LOL.
My body is a wonderland of scars. Most were acquired by my own personal lack of grace, and as silly as the causes are – I’m still proud that I can look back and say “Yeah, roller skating down a concrete hill in shorts and a tank top, holding onto the back pockets of my friend’s shorts may not have been the best idea.. but BOY was that fun!”
Not sure how I missed this post originally, but here I am!
I have scars on my knees from being a kid, a scar on my neck from a corn stalk, a double c-section scar and 2 major scars on my right leg.
One of them on my leg is about 4-5 inches and is still raised and has visible marks where the staples held my leg closed after a chunck was removed to get rid of melanoma. The doctors all apologize that it’s so visible, but it doesn’t bother me; beats the alternative.
The other one on my leg is my upper thigh, into the crease of my leg. It’s ugly and lumpy, but since that’s where the lymph nodes were that had cancer in them, I don’t mind that scar either.
Each one tells a story. Not always pretty, but mine.
Bonjour ! Je vois que votre blog est bien référencé mais des optimisation supplémentaires sont possibles. Avez vous fait appel à une agence webmarketing ? Sinon, contactez-moi
Vos articles sont excellents. Merci bien pour votre conseil !
Thanks for sharing such a fastidious idea, post is fastidious, thats why i have read
it entirely
Comments on this entry are closed.
{ 1 trackback }