I wrote a couple weeks ago about my adventure in donating eggs. I was just getting ready to start my medications and was super nervous about it all. So here is the dizzy on the skizzy about the whole process and how I feel now that I have completed a successful cycle.
First I would like to kick the big purple elephant who is hanging out around this post out on his violet hued butt. Yes. I was compensated for donating my eggs, quite generously actually. No. That is not the reason I did it.
I actually hard a hard time with the compensation when I was first researching the program and facility that I used. Not only was I looking at how I felt about being paid to give another woman my genetic future so that she can have a baby of her own, but I also wondered how it as going to affect the perceptions people had of me and my willingness to “sell a baby”. Sadly enough this is still how many people feel about egg donation, ESPECIALLY when there is monetary exchange. I knew deep down inside that I was doing this out of a good place, however as much as I try to act like I don’t care…I am very sensitive to how people perceive me.
Dude. This egg donation thing is hard work. I’m not sure I got paid enough.
Outside of destroying my belly with multiple injections of medication a day I had ultrasounds at the office at least every other day…which is not close to my house at all. This includes weekends…your ovaries know no master. Not even a board certified reproductive endocrinologist armed with more fertility drugs than you can ever imagine can tell those suckers what to do. The cycle totally takes over your life and for those couple weeks your body and time really doesn’t belong to you anymore.
The first few days of my cycle were easy peasy. I wasn’t really uncomfortable until they added the second drug to the mix. A couple days after starting that second medication I could literally feel my ovaries bouncing around when I walked. I had to get up and sit down slowly, there were things brewing in there for sure. Every ultrasound you receive during the cycle in trans-vaginal and by about a week into my injections my ovaries were TOUCHING in the middle. That’s right, I said touching.
They count all the follicles and measure the size. It was obvious from the beginning that my body was off to the races so with my schedule the doctor had to toe a very fine line. He needed to ensure I produced enough mature eggs…but at the same time try not to throw me into Ovarian Hyper-stimulation Syndrome (OHSS). It can be very tricky, especially for a first time donor since they had no idea how my body would react to the medications.
Of course, because I am me, I got a pretty moderate case of OHSS after my egg retrieval. I was super bloated and uncomfortable for a few days, but it was nothing that couldn’t be handled with rest and a never ending line of Chinese food. Apparently the salt helps…they didn’t need to tell me twice!
Overall the recipients of my donation got THIRTY eggs to play with! Granted, some of them won’t be mature enough to use, some of them won’t fertilize and even if they do fertilize… there is no guarantee that they will implant. I am just content knowing that I did everything I could to help this couple have the baby they always wanted. A baby that they were scared to conceive using their own genetics due to certain genes they carry. A baby for them to love, raise and cherish.
I am content.
I see this as giving someone hope, an opportunity, love. The monetary exchange is between you and your recipients and no one else. Modern medicine is not cheap. I think it was a selfless thing for you to do, to help someone in their time of need, to achieve this miracle. Or possibly multiple miracles! I hope all works out in the end for your recipients. Do you plan on doing this again? Thanks for sharing your story!
The idea of feeling your ovaries when you walk kind of gives me the heebie-jeebies. I don’t want to *feel* any specific internal organ. Just knowing they’re in there is good enough for me.
I think it’s amazing and generous and lovely that you did this for another couple. And I’m glad you feel content about it. Major props to you for taking this on.
Wow, I think you are AMAZING and what a beautiful gift to give another couple – I have tears in my eyes!
Absolutely no judgement here. Thought never occurred to me. You are providing a kind of a service, and for that you should be paid. It’s no one’s business but your own. Sounds like an amazing (and life-impacting) experience for all involved.
Given I am finally pregnant after 1 egg retrieval (26 eggs) and 1 frozen transfer, I can feel your pain with the medications and thank you for your donation. Luckily for me, I was able to produce lots of my own eggs but as you read blog after blog on infertility websites (because this is what we with fertility issues due – OBSESS), it is sad how many women are not able to produce their own good eggs. SO THANK YOU for helping this couple. And yes, compensation is completely entitled and nothing wrong with it. This process is expensive and painful and a huge time suck as you describe. My ovaries moved the middle and touched during my egg retrieval and HAVE NEVER MOVED back. So this is a major life decision with it’s own risks/rewards. For those people who think negatively on what you’ve done, ignore them and remember the couple (or couples) you’ve helped.
I have my two amazing 9 year old daughters only because another woman was as generous as you and donated her eggs. Words cannot express what a wonderful thing you have done for this couple…I know.
I don’t think that just because you want to do something nice for others you shouldn’t be compensated. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been on your body let alone the time. It is like some people think that by receiving something good from doing good for others it somehow invalidates it and that is just simply not true. I mean have you ever seen that episode of Friends where Joey and Phoebe are arguing over whether a selfless good deed exists and it doesn’t. Doing good to others makes you feel good and that is a good thing.
I think what you did is amazing. I have been very lucky to have my own children in what most would call “easy” ways. I look at them and I am so thankful. I don’t know if I would have the stregnth to go through what so many women struggle with even though I always knew that someday somehow I would be a Mother. It was never a question for me. Anyway so kudos to you for being so awesome. It sounds like your Step-daughter has a pretty awesome role model.
What a beautiful thing to do. I know how grueling all your procedures were (I’ve done IVF myself), and it makes total sense to pay you for that massive inconvenience. The fact you were paid in no way diminishes the hugeness and the beauty of your gesture. You’ve changed someone’s life. My husband and I are hoping a donor changes our lives sometime soon, so we salute you and thank you, from the bottoms of our hearts.
I’m so glad that I was able to find such a recent thread. I am a donor as well and on Tuesday morning (it is now Thursday) I had my retrieval. They were able to take 58 eggs from me! this discomfort im feeling from the bloating is unimaginable but it makes me less worried when I keep reading that pretty much everyone who has donated goes through this. Im wondering if the bloating has gone down yet or if you’re still experiencing any OHSS symptoms now that it is 10 days later?
Comments on this entry are closed.