Recently, sophomore, Amber Estes, a Public Relations major at the University of Georgia, wrote an article entitled “How to Find That Perfect Husband in College” for the college’s independent student newspaper. Essentially, it is a sorority sister’s guide to finding her perfect fraternity brother counterpart to put a rock on her finger by graduation day.
In her article, Ms. Estes calls a young woman’s time in college “four years to find a husband,” saying:
Every true woman knows how vital it is to find the right brilliant babe to father their children and replenish their bank accounts. A Southern belle is nothing but a pretty face and pearls without a man to eat her cooking and appreciate her cleaning.
She goes on to list six steps to catch the attention of and ultimately get a Tiffany-diamond proposal from that “perfect” college (and more specifically, fraternity) guy, including every tactic from loitering around the university’s law school (because that’s where the money is being bred), to “Instagram everything,” while making sure any friends pictured with you aren’t either prettier than you (so as not to be out-shined) or “uggos” (because who wants to marry a girl with ugly friends?), to impressing his fraternity brothers and his mother.
The aim is to earn the title jokingly called the “MRS degree” within the four years between rush day and graduation day, making the education part of the college experience seem like nothing more than a kind of inconvenience. She refers to those who use her techniques and land that quintessential mix of brains, looks, and status things like “trophy wives” and “future Mrs. Dr. Perfect,” with their hypothetical future children “mini Mr. Perfects.”
Sadly, while it is alarming to think that many young women are using their years in college not to pursue knowledge, but instead, a robust joint bank account and a permanent spot by the country club pool, this mindset is nothing new. The techniques, technologies, and attire involved have simply advanced with the times.
EDITOR’S NOTE
We shared a link to the article on Twitter and Facebook, and many people are wondering if the “How to Find That Perfect Husband in College” article was satirical, but we haven’t yet seen any updates to further clarify the goal of Ms. Estes’ advice column.
UPDATE
A new post was published this morning to clarify the meaning of Estes’ article. She explains that she intended for the original post to be satirical, but to many people, it wasn’t read that way or it wasn’t made clear that what was published was meant to be a joke. I’m personally torn between thinking that Estes may need a quick lesson on how to write satire and thinking that the “it cannot be believed until it is disproved” theory for everything published on the internet is stronger than ever. -Angie
image via memegenerator
She actually just posted a follow-up. It was definitely satire.
http://www.redandblack.com/opinion/writer-of-how-to-find-that-perfect-husband-in-college/article_f19a79fc-cfae-11e1-a548-0019bb30f31a.html
Just updated the post. Thanks, Cindy!
“I’m personally torn between thinking that Estes may need a quick lesson on how to write satire” since you are such a reliable source on how to write ALL things funny, why don’t you shoot her an email on how YOU would write satire?
A Mrs degree? Mini Mr Perfects? How is this NOT satire?
I really think, as many people pointed out in the comments section of her new article, her intention may have been satire, but it was very poorly executed. If such a large portion of your audience either thinks you’re being serious or just plain can’t decipher whether or not you are (and I posed this article to many very intelligent people, and obviously, most of the CGG writers themselves read it), your satirical skills need a lot of sharpening.
I can kind of understand her defensiveness in her article as well. When I was responding to the “haters” on my Victoria’s Secret article, it took everything within me not to just lash out and be downright rude. At the same time, however, she *is* ridiculously defensive in her new article, and I don’t think that fact is doing wonders for her writing reputation. Instead of admitting that maybe she could have been a little clearer, she faults us, as her readers, for not being able to understand satire.
Trust me, I understand satire just fine, and I could not for the life of me tell in her original article whether or not that was her intention.
Once I read the article, I thought it was pretty obviously a joke, but then again, I come from Portland, OR where that kind of attitude is rare. Indeed, it’s your audience’s level of understanding that judges your satirical skill.
Still, I am surprised that this is realistic enough to be taken seriously. I am on the verge of engagement and about to be a senior in college – and I feel like no one my age is near my level of relationship commitment.
I think that the confusion must come from stereotypes people have of southern women. I am a southern college educated woman. I knew right away it was satire. What sorority girls cook and clean? *satire warning*
I believe that’s true as well. When I showed this to other groups of people, I had several women from the south who were even confused as to whether or not this was satire, from the way it was written. They said that that’s unfortunately the way many young women go about college, but they honestly couldn’t tell by any kind of context whether or not she was being satirical.
Before I wrote this, I tried looking through other articles of hers, to discern whether or not this was the “kind of girl” she was, but all I found was a piece about summer classes and the pros and cons thereof. It was *really* hard to tell, even thought I sort of hoped the whole time it was supposed to be a joke.
Well I’m sure some of the confusion comes from that fact that there IS some portion of the female population who appear to be at college to find a husband.
True satire presents itself as serious. That is the purpose of satire: to hold a mirror to society that reflects its hypocrisies and foibles. In our culture, we expect our satire to be obvious (like SNL, or the Daily Show), but true satire is not meant to be obvious unless you’re in on the joke, like Shana, above.
I’m from the South and I was hoping it was satire. I’m very glad it was.
As a quasi-Southerner, and a sorority girl – my hunch was that it was satire. However, as a praciticing PR professional, I believe this young woman has probably just had her biggest lesson in writing for the masses and crisis management.
Additionally – her p.s. quip was a great way to close!
I went to a “good girl” Christian university in California, and yes- the MRS degree definitely does exist. My roommate met her now-husband October of our freshman year, and married him the day after he graduated (yup, she didn’t graudate- she didn’t need to in her mind, now that she was going to be a SAHM). My own parents told me that I was now completely on my own, because “I had 4 years to find a husband, and I couldn’t even do that”. I’m now happily married, but still feel the sting of that comment. I know she wrote it as satire, but at some schools, it honestly is more life than play.
I, too, attended a private, Christian University where it was no secret that many of the women were there to earn their MRS degrees. I think, for them, there was a fear that if they didn’t find their good, Christian husband in college, it would be even harder to find him in the real world.
One of the on-campus houses (all-male, I should add) had a big sign in the front window that said, “Ring by Spring or Your Money Back!” with a countdown to graduation. The year we graduated, my roommate and I counted 22 weddings for that summer alone!
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