Cleaning Out My Life. Er… Closet.

by Be Heard on March 9, 2011

in Girl Talk, Self & Body

While I’m not a big fan of numbers, I just did the math for you guys because you’re special snowflakes and realized, much to my horror, that I’ve been pregnant and/or breastfeeding and/or losing the baby weight for five years now. Two kids, seventy pounds gained (and lost) over five years.

When I first got pregnant with my son, I was desperately afraid I was going to miscarry. So instead of carefully packing my clothes away, I just piled them into a big Tupperware bin and shoved them into the back of my closet. It was kind my own way of not jinxing myself. If I kept the clothes nearby, they’d ward off any problems with the pregnancy. Yeah, pregnancy hormones made me REALLY rational.

Anyway, I didn’t miscarry, but I did pile on the pounds, which didn’t miraculously evaporate off. I bought a number of sizes as I worked my way back down to my starting pre-pregnancy weight. I was within ten pounds of that weight when I got pregnant again.

Now, I’m done with babies (until my Love Child with a Famous Person). I’m within a couple pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight. My kids are in preschool and I have my days free to work. Or watch dancing cat videos. Whatever.

The first order of business was to purge the hell out of my life. Starting with my closet.

I know that purging is stressful for a lot of people. I’ve always found it to be particularly invigorating; a way of separating out who I was from who I am, the past from the present, and getting rid of all of the extra emotional baggage that stuff carries.

Those pants over there, mocking me every time I see them because I’m no longer a size four? Well, they can’t hold any power over me if I donate them to someone who actually IS a size four. Same with that curling iron that makes me feel like I should take better care of my appearance. I’ll give it away to someone who will actually use it. It’s doing me no good.

Likewise, that cute halter top that was adorable in the store but on, it makes my boobs look like they’re lopsided loaves of bread, what was I holding onto that for? The day that my boobs would magically change shape and look like I hadn’t nursed three kids? Or was I actually going to get off my ass to take it to the tailor? Yeah. Right.

Gone, baby, gone.

Every time I clean out my closet, it’s a chance for me to realize who I actually am, not who I think I should be. It’s a chance for me to be honest with myself and realize that the days when I’d wear a belt with my name proudly displayed on the buckle are FAR from over.

But, I do have some size four pants, a baby-doll shirt that says, “KITTEN,” and a couple of curling irons. I’ll even throw in some emotional baggage, no charge.

The BECKY Belt, though, that stays.

Sara March 9, 2011 at 9:46 am

This post comes at a perfect time for me; we just bought a closet organizer system and before it gets installed, I’m purging a lot of stuff. I’ve never had a problem getting rid of things, but this is a new perspective on it for me. Thanks!

Aunt Becky March 9, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Yay! I’m glad you like it! I’m about to go to the Salvation Army donation center (they hate me, I know it) to drop off more crap. It’s time.

Christina March 9, 2011 at 9:49 am

This is exactly what I need to remind myself each year. I hold on to things I didn’t like when they did fit, and I have no excuses anymore.

Aunt Becky March 9, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Sometimes, it just helps me to feel like I’m moving in the right direction…you know?

Laurin March 9, 2011 at 10:46 am

I just lost some weight and I’m tempted to keep the bigger clothes I bought this last year. After all, they are practically new and weren’t cheap, but they say you are more likely to put the weight back on if your clothes are waiting on you. I’m purging!

Aunt Becky March 9, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Time to get ‘er gone. Have an internet garage sale if you must, but you know, out with ‘em!

Angie March 9, 2011 at 11:03 am

I need someone to come purge my stuff for me. I just… can’t.

Rachel March 9, 2011 at 11:23 am

I’ll send my sister in law over. Jesus, Mary, Joseph & all the saints, that woman will definitely purge your closets. And everything else that isn’t nailed down. All while yelling, “You’re a hoarder! A HOARDER!!” Just because you still have the card your grandma gave you when you graduated from college. I have over a foot and 40 lbs on her and she scares the crap out of me.

I think I just gave myself nightmares…

Aunt Becky March 9, 2011 at 2:38 pm

I love a good purge. You know the next time I come down I’m coming down to dump your stuff. You have to leave so I can do it, tho.

leanne March 9, 2011 at 2:24 pm

I have one of those curling irons, too — the kind that just sits around mocking me. Tonight I will get rid of it. I need to do more purging of STUFF. Useless stuff.

Aunt Becky March 9, 2011 at 2:39 pm

I’m getting ready to dump all the fancy-pants barware I got for my wedding. Why? I DON’T USE IT. Why the HELL do I own it?

Neeroc March 11, 2011 at 10:30 am

Neither of us drink and we got the full crystal set for our wedding too. I use it every time we have a party or have family over (might as well right?) Freaks my husband out. But the best part? I lose (like actually lose, not break – I just never see it again) about a piece after each party. So it’s like purging in slow motion. And an indication I need better friends *g*

Sharon Heg March 9, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Hubby and I are re-doing our master bedrooms o in order to take out the furniture, I had to empty out my armoire, which is essentially 3 cubby holes filled with crap. I’m half convinced that I’m a hoarder. Look: http://sharonheg.wordpress.com/2011/03/02/i-think-im-a-hoarder/

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