I love my husband very much. But sometimes I hate him, too.
You see, I am married to a Perpetually Skinny.
You know the type. They’re the ones who can eat whatever they want without gaining weight. They’re the ones whose metabolism never actually catches up as they age. They’re the ones who can order a pair of jeans online and be reasonably assured that they are going to look great when they put them on.
My husband is thin, but he’s also muscular without even trying, and athletic without even working at it. About a year ago, I trained for several months to run a 10k. I was working my butt off, running even twice a day sometimes, trying to work my way up to 5 miles at one time. It took me about three months to get to that point, and yet I was still sore and hurting and no where near a ten minute mile. Yet my husband one day, after not having worked out in any shape or form in years, goes to the gym and runs five miles in under an hour. And then comes home and announces it like he just took the trash out.
I’ve lived the last 15 years with him, trying not to pull my hair out at the injustice of it all.
Because I’m married to a guy who does absolutely no weight training whatsover and his arms look like this.
He’s the guy who eats an entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s nearly every night by himself. And pretty much whatever else he feels like, whenever he feels like it.
When I get to heaven and get to ask the Big Guy all of my Big Questions, I may ask why he allowed so much suffering in Africa. Or why people are born with disabilities. Or why he allows parents to abuse their children.
OR I MIGHT JUST ASK WHY PEOPLE LIKE ME EAT HEALTHY EVERY DAY AND WORK THEIR ASSES OFF JUST TO TRY TO GET TO AN ACCEPTABLE WEIGHT WHILE OTHER PEOPLE DO NOTHING AND EAT EVERYTHING AND STAY SKINNY. WHY GOD WHY!?!?
Sure, maybe I should be feeling grateful right now. Grateful that he’s able to run at all after a bad accident and years of learning to walk again. Grateful that my husband has a rockin’ body. Grateful that his freakish muscle tone and metabolism probably mean he’ll be a healthy old man with a long life.
But right now, I’m mostly just bitter.
Anybody else married to a Perpetually Skinny? Should we form a support group?