Be Heard is a collection of reader-submitted articles, published anonymously or with the author’s name associated. We encourage you to read what fellow readers have to say and support them with words of encouragement or advice. It is not easy to expose your thoughts and feelings to the world as our Be Heard authors are doing. Be Heard articles are not edited for content or grammar issues; however, the editors of CGG reserve the right to redact names and telling personal information as we deem necessary. The thoughts and ideas presented in Be Heard articles are not necessarily those of the writers and editors of Curvy Girl Guide.
If you would like to submit a Be Heard article to Curvy Girl Guide, visit this post for more information.
——————————————————–
Okay, when I first read about the “Be Heard” posting, I was intrigued. I thought, why not. I wasn’t “heard” from a group of doctors for over 2 years. Yes, 2 years. Let me start from the beginning:
I’m a 45-year-old mom that had my son late in life; okay, 38 isn’t old but for me, it was late. When I became pregnant, I was overweight and I knew it. The thing was I was healthy. Yes, healthy in the eyes of my doctor. My cholesterol, blood pressure, sugars and hormones were well within the normal ranges. I stopped taking birth control when I was 35 because my body had rejected the hormones. This is not a weird thing for some women when any form of birth control is being rejected by your body. Well, early in the pregnancy I found out that I had gestational diabetes. Again, not a big deal because it happens to some women when pregnant. In my family, we didn’t have any diabetics so I was assured that with a proper diet, insulin and twice a month visits to a perinatal doctor that my baby and I would be healthy. So on June 22, 2005 our son was born. Normal, healthy and I was just a healthy as I was before. In fact, I only gained 21 pounds from the pregnancy and I felt great. I was told that I might become a diabetic later in life because of this but I was assured that my chances were low since I didn’t have it in my family tree.
Fast forward on my 40th birthday and I noticed that I was tired and that my stomach was getting flabby and sticking out. I attributed the tiredness and getting flabby because we had just moved and I wasn’t working at the time. I was still getting my annual checkups and nothing was coming back to be concerned about. Two years later, I knew something wasn’t right with my body. Tired, gaining more weight and periods that were so out of whack that I was in a constant state of buying pads because I never knew when it happen. I made my annual check up appointment and I was told that I couldn’t see my regular doctor and would I be opposed to seeing another doctor in the practice. No, I didn’t mind so, off I went. Guess what? When my blood work came back, there were some areas of concern. The doctor assured me that he would talk to my regular doctor and let him know. Did I ever hear from my regular doctor? Nope and I even called his nurse and he didn’t seem concerned about it at all. Grrr….
Next year comes and goes and yes, blood work is showing some areas of concern and this time, I will not let it rest. Physically I’m miserable, bloated, tired all the time and to make matters worse, it was effecting my relationships. I couldn’t focus at work either. I had pretty much figured out that I was pre-menopausal and told my doctor. Did he listen? Nope, he kept telling me that I was healthy “down there” and not to worry. Well, I was worried. Night sweats, not sleeping and the heavy periods were wearing me out. I even cut my hair short because I couldn’t deal with how hot I got at any time of the day.
Guess what happened last year? My doctor finally listened to my concerns about my health. *bangs head on the wall* Here’s the kicker…ready for it…
I am pre-menopausal, iron deficient, elevated blood pressure, high cholesterol and a Type 2 diabetic.
I’m now on 5 different medications for high blood pressure, cholesterol, iron, Metformin (for diabetes) and birth control. The real kicker is that within a month of taking birth control pills, I was feeling so much better. My husband and I still get a chuckle about the birth control pills. Almost a year later with being diagnosed a Type 2 diabetic, I’ve lost 33 pounds and I feel and look so much better. Most diabetics don’t lose weight but I have. My doctor is very pleased with me now but at what cost to me?
My sanity? Health? Relationships? Its been a tough road for me and my family for almost 3 years but now that my doctor finally listened to me, I feel validated in my concerns about my health. And that’s the point of this article. Be Heard by your doctor. Talk to him/her. Do not let his/her brush off get you discouraged. Keep talking to him/her. Do not let your concerns NOT be heard. Women know more about their bodies than their own doctors. Shoot, my husband knows more about my body than my doctor. He could see the changes and was just as concerned as I was.
Did I waste 3 years of my life trying to be heard? In some ways I did but overall, I learned a valuable lesson. I didn’t push my doctor hard enough for him to listen to me. Now every three months, I go and have my blood work done and he actually sits down and listens to any concerns that I have. Nothing is too miniscule for him in our conversations. In fact, our relationship is much better because of it. I talk and he listens.
End of the story? No, the story will continue to evolve but my advice to you is to push your doctor into the conversation. Women know their bodies and what is going on inside. Write down your concerns and take them with you at your next appointment. Don’t be shy…its only your health.
Submitted by Marika Weber
This is a GREAT piece and very important advice for all women. After my fifth (and last) child was born, I went through huge health changes. I knew something was wrong, but I kept getting the ‘you just had a baby’ brush off. I finally was able to convince my doctor to refer my to a gynecologist and spent several months convincing him something was wrong. No periods for some months and then I would bleed for weeks on end, soaking through pads in sometimes as little as 20 or 30 minutes. (sorry for the TMI)
Finally it was discovered that, among other things, I had a collapsed uterus and needed surgery.
I wound up with a hysterectomy and feel much better for it now, but I wish I could have been taken seriously right from the get-go.
You are right when you say that no one knows your body better than you yourself do and we also have to be our own best advocates when it comes to our health care. I’m glad to hear you finally got the diagnosis and the care you needed and that you’re doing better. Good for you for making sure your issues didn’t go unnoticed.
Never too much TMI. I had the same problem with the soak through. I was almost wearing an adult diaper to bed because when the period did come, it was heavy and painful.
Now, that I’m on meds I don’t even have a period.
My doctor just wasn’t convinced that anything was wrong. In his eyes, I was still in child bearing years. Nope, I was done with that. Just took a little longer for him to understand that.
Marika
Marika, you are a wise woman. My father-in-law developed Type 2 diabetes in his fifties — may have had it longer because it didn’t run in his family. He and my m-i-l worked with his doctor, and he lived a very active and productive life until age 92. He was only “underpowered” the last year. He never lost a limb or his sight. He was faithful to his diet. Because of his success, the Orlando Sentinel chose to do a feature on the obit page about him. They totally forgot to mention he was also a 33rd degree Mason.
Fantastic article, Marika! I’m so glad you finally got your concerns addressed and got a proper diagnosis and then follow up care. And I’m glad that has ultimately had a positive impact on your health and your relationships!
The OB who delivered all 4 of my kids by c-section (I never went into labor no matter how much pitocin they dripped into me or for how long), told me after the 4th was delivered and she personally cut, tied and burned the ends off my tubes, that I was a boring patient now. The only “fun” she’d have was when I let her “yank my uterus”, now that I didn’t need it anymore.
I was floored! I may not “need” it to grow babies anymore, and I know some drs think that leaving it in there encourages it to grow cancer, but I LOVE those “flutters” it does during, ahem, those times when I’m glad it’s still in there! So I found a male gyne who sat and talked to me for an hour on my first visit. He looked at all of the tests she had done, he listened to my concerns, and he told me what kind of treatment he’d advocate for the conditions I had developed. When I asked him about the efficacy of red wine to stave off heart trouble, which runs in my family, he told me about the latest research on folic acid for women…a week later I got a copy of an article from “Gynecology Today”, that he sent to me–I only understood part of it, since it was doctor-jargon, but I was impressed!
I’ve now been going to him for almost 20 years, and he’s seen me into peri-menopause, which caused the heaviest periods I had ever had. He said his wife went through it the same way, and that they call it “bloody menopause”…pun intended! He offered me ways to alleviate it, but respected my choice to tough it out. Now it’s finally finished, but I’ll keep going to him forever! I have to drive many miles, past quite a few towns and suburbs, to get to his office, but I don’t care. He’s got me as a patient for life!
My Mom used to say that she only trusted female gynecologists. I’ve found that it depends on the doctor. I love mine!
Hi, Marika, good write-up. So many women go through this problem with doctorss. It’s almost as if we are part of the wallpaper…and just as silent. I spent too many years not being diagnosed properly and suffered the consequences. I saw your post on romancebooks4us and I’m glad I dropped by.
Good for you for preserving and getting yourself listened to and ya!! on weight loss.
GF, you went through a lot, but the sun is shining on the other side and you do look mah-velous. Good, good article.
Comments on this entry are closed.