To my daughters,
I preach to you the strength of women, and how you can do anything you put your mind to. I tell you that you are perfect in every way, and to believe in yourself. I teach you to be respectful, responsible, and independent beings. All of this is sincere and meant with the best of intentions.
However, it seems my biggest lesson should be to do as I say and not as I do. It’s time you know that your mother is a hypocrite. I have made so many mistakes in raising you, but if I do only one thing right, I can make you understand your worth and give you the confidence that I don’t have.
Learn from my mistakes, my insecurities, my self-doubt.
Trying on outfit after outfit, not being satisfied with the reflection in the mirror, crying about the numbers on the scale- these are things to avoid. Don’t be so critical and hard on yourself.
Do as I say and not as I do.
Be proud of yourself and your achievements. You are brilliant and talented. You work hard and deserve success.
Do as I say and not as I do.
Extra pounds, zits, or bad hair days do not define you. You are gorgeous inside and out and don’t let anyone make you think otherwise.
Do as I say and not as I do.
See yourself through other people’s eyes. Accept compliments graciously. They are telling you what they see, what everyone sees, the beauty that is there.
Word to live by. Different circumstances (I have the confidence, but also the control freak tendencies), but I spent the first 20 years of my life turning into my mother’s “mini me” and the next 20 years trying to get out of her habits. It’s taken a long while but I think I’m doing pretty well with it.
Me, too, Sharon – I’ve only realized in the last few years how I’ve allowed my mother’s insecurities define me. It’s a difficult mindset to break, but I’m working on it. Hard.
Beautiful, Tena. I think about this all the time with my 2-year-old. I want her to see the beauty in herself, but I know that I have to calm the critics within myself first.
SO well said Tena. I hope this is a lesson we can all take to heart
Love this. xoxo
Yes. Just yes.
What a beautiful letter. We all end up being hypocrites because we never see what others see in ourselves, but we have the ability to see the beauty in others. It happens, we’re human. And I’m sure when your girls grow up to be women they will understand the battles of our minds, until then…
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