I’m a huge proponent of making a man wait to get inside your… bed.
There’s several reason to make him wait for your prize. But at the end of the day, let’s face it, you don’t want to live with regrets. So now that all of you ladies are going to make him earn it, there are ways to tell if he’s going to be bad in bed.
I’ve spoke to some of my close girlfriends, and we’ve put together the top 5 signs that he’ll suck in bed. After all, you might as well learn from our mistakes.
1. He’s a bad kisser.
Guess what… if his tongue is all jabby, and you feel like a dog just licked your face, chances are this man is a mess in the bedroom.
If you can’t even get your kisses to flow together, you’re probably not going to be blown away by the motion of his ocean.
2. He’s a jerk.
I know we are all attracted to a bad boy. There is something about Adam Levine that gets us going (probably those tattoos). But looking like a bad boy and acting like a bad boy are two very different things.
If you start your relationship feeling like he only wants to get in your pants, then he probably only wants to get in your pants. And her pants. And that girl over there’s pants.
If a jerk is not attentive to you during the courting process, he will not be attentive to you in the sack. You’ll become his booty call. And booty calls from a jerk are just meant for one thing – his pleasure.
3. He’s smelly.
If his breath stinks or you think you can smell his ass or armpits… do not even bother.
It would be super distracting to smell these things the first time you’re doing it, right? He was either never taught personal hygiene skills or he doesn’t care about himself enough to take a shower, brush his teeth, and put on deodorant. If he doesn’t care about himself, he is sure as hell not going to take care of you.
You have two choices when it comes to Stinky McStinkerson. You can politely suggest that he do something about his stench (good luck with that), or you can move on down the road.
4. He’s wastey-faced.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a super drunk person? Yeah. No thank you (unless it’s with me – even drunk it’s most likely perfect – just kidding).
Boys have a problem when they are super drunk. It’s called “Whiskey Dick.” Whiskey wieners do one of two things: they either cannot rise to the occasion or they cannot finish the occasion. Both of these things will make you feel terrible about yourself, when really the problem lies in how much he’s had to drink.
5. He can’t dance.
Okay, I was hesitant to put this one on the list.
My husband is not lighting a dance floor on fire. As a matter of fact, he sort of looks like he’s having a seizure every time he tries to dance. However, the man is blazing trails in the bedroom. He is the best I’ve ever had.
But I am told, he is the exception to this rule. As a general rule of thumb, if a man can’t dance, he will suck in bed.
Do you agree with that list? What are some other ways you can tell if he’ll be bad in bed?