At first, I was shocked when she told me, “I don’t have any girlfriends. I really wish I knew how to be friends with women, but they all seem so catty to 
me.”
Hold the phone! Are you telling me you don’t have any girlfriends? Who assures you that you’re not pregnant when you can’t remember your last period, because your cycles are aligned? Who tells you that guy is just your T-man (transition man), so don’t get too attached? Who looks you over and tells you to cut off your split ends and never wear those shoes again? Who picks up the phone when you’re ready to slash tires and burn down houses?
Everyone has a good girlfriend, don’t they?
I get it, some women are more comfortable with guys, and others keep a really tight circle. Quality over quantity, I am down with that!
But, if you’ve recently noticed you’re losing life long buddies or short on go-to girlfriends in a time of need, maybe the issue is more you than you might realize. So let’s be brutally honest with ourselves for a second, I mean, that’s what BFFs are for anyways, right?
1. It’s all about you.
Nobody likes the selfish friend. The one you try to tell your problem to, and she just goes on and on and on about herself, one upping your problem with her own! I’m a great listener, but I need to be able to have problems all by myself, sometimes.
We know you had that terrible thing happen to you as a child, and we know you’re ex-boyfriend cheated on you. We’ve been there for you through all of it. We came to you because we know you can relate, but can we just tell you what’s going on in our life right now, without you taking this moment and making it your own?
Oh, that same thing happened to me that one time but in a totally different way, let me put the spotlight back on me a second and tell you all about it!
2. You lost yourself when you found him.
We love everything about people falling in love. Except for one thing. We don’t love it when girls forget who they are after they’ve found a parnter. It’s one thing to dig each other’s interests, it’s another to morph into a clone.
Nice tattoo. When did you start liking the Cleveland Browns? You know they play football, right? You know that’s permanent, right?
It’s okay to just be yourself, and it’s okay to let him do the same. Now put some lipstick on, and come out with the girls on Saturday night (while he plays video games with guys). Don’t lose what makes you… you, it’s why we all fell in love with you in the first place!
3. You’re too flirty.
We love that you get along with our significant others, after all, you’re both hugely important in our lives. But there’s a fine line between humoring him and laughing at his unfunny jokes, and getting a little too close.
If you find yourself texting him, flirting with him, or making us feel like we’re on the outside of an inside joke, our radars start to go off. Does that make us sound insecure, maybe a touch, but we love having you as a soul sister we trust, and to go with you for unbiased opinions when we need them.
4. Too much gossip.
This is you:
I promised her I’d keep this a secret, so don’t ever tell her I told you, but she has chlamydia. Whatever you do, do not sit on the toilet seat in her apartment. She probably got it from that guy she had a one stand with when her and Jimmy were fighting and she got all drunk that night. Oh, crap! I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone that either. Promise not to tell anyone, okay?
This is what our brain is doing:
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! Do you think she told anyone about that crazy night in college? She swore she’d take that to her grave. But look at her, she is spouting off Tiffany’s secrets like it’s NO BIG DEAL.
I know it’s hard, but try not to gossip. First of all, it’s just not nice. And second of all, it makes us feel like we can’t trust you with our deepest darkest secrets.
Finding and being a great friend is hard, and we all slip up and have been guilty of one of these along the way. The trick is finding a BFF or two that “get” us and loves us for all our flaws, anyways!
How about because I move around a lot? Also a lot of the women I’ve been friends with seem to end the friendship with a horrifying betrayal…
I’ll stick with my puppy
Since we shared a bed together for three nights this weekend, I feel it necessary to defend that I am not the person that has no girlfriends that you’re referring to. Quite the contrary, actually. I am at an age where I realize that girlfriends are imperative to any woman’s sanity and waaay more important than any penis unless the penis has a fab fashion sense and gets pedicures with you.
I feel that the author’s attempt to put the blame on the friendless person is a bit out of place; maybe she should try to imagine herself in that person’s shoes.
Maybe you were burned one too many times by people who made the above or worse mistakes and therefore you don’t trust anyone, especially women.
Maybe you were bullied and teased throughout your life and can’t let yourself get close to other ladies.
Maybe (as the first commenter pointed out) you moved around a lot and never got to develop those ties.
Maybe you can’t find women who have anything in common with you.
Maybe the author shouldn’t place blame on every woman for the mistakes of her previous friends.
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