In 1997, Pamela Redmond Satran wrote an article for Glamour magazine titled “30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by theTime She’s 30.” The article has since become a popular email forward, and still makes the rounds today, 15 years after publication. Given how much has changed since 1997 (including the fact that I’ve turned 30…plus a few), it seemed like a good time for an update, so I posed the question to some of my favorite women and with their help, came up with this list.
By 30, you should have:
1. A good, quiet vibrator and the know-how to use it.
2. Your Passport, for when that once-in-a-lifetime chance to run off to Paris comes up and you have to leave tomorrow.
3. A pocket knife. Did you know most of them have a corkscrew AND a bottle opener?
4. An idea of whether or not you plan to have children.
5. A plan for how you will prevent conception if/when you don’t want to be a parent, and a plan for how you will become a parent when/if you do.
6. A back-up plan in the event that numbers four and five don’t work out exactly the way you planned.
7. Your voter registration card, because it’s your right and your responsibility.
8. A gynecologist who makes you feel comfortable enough to ask questions about your body, your health and your pleasure. Even if your feet are in the stirrups.
9. Some money stashed away for your future.
10. Some other money stashed away for a rainy day.
11. At least one delicious recipe that you make really well, so when you’re invited to a potluck, you always know what to bring.
12. Credit history in your own name and knowledge of your score.
13. A bed that makes you sleep like a baby and is big enough for company. Preferably a bed that you’ve purchased sometime after your teen years.
14. The ability to admit when you’ve made a mistake and deal with the consequences.
15. A willingness to learn from your mistakes in order to keep from repeating them over and over again.
By 30, you should know:
1. That nobody can read your mind. Learning how to communicate will get you everywhere.
2. How to change your oil/a flat tire/ your windshield wiper blades all by yourself.
3. That if all goes well, you’re going to be in your body for many, many more years, so you better take great care of it (and learn to love it).
4. That sunscreen and moisturizer are your friends.
5. That men are like buses. Don’t bother running after one; another will be along soon enough.
6. There’s nothing that makes you more attractive than having a full, active, happy life.
7. The whole Jerry Maguire, “you complete me” thing? Is total crap. You’re already complete.
8. That nobody ever says, “boy, I really regret NOT having sex with that person.”
9. It’s not a competition. There’s room for more than one woman to succeed.
10. Cellulite happens. As do stretch marks. And grey hair. You’ll live.
11. When to keep your mouth shut, and when to speak up.
12. How to confront your boss, your lover or your mother without losing your job, your partner or your family.
13. There’s never really a perfect time for major life changes. Sometimes you just have to wait until the time is “close enough.”
14. That sometimes the timing is totally wrong, but you just have to take a leap of faith anyway.
15. That there are so many more good things coming your way.
Audrey Binkowski is a writer, a mother, a digital marketer, and a hoarder of vintage items. Seriously, her closets and cupboards are full of old crap that belonged to dead people. You can read more from Audrey on her blog, Laugh Mom.
so so good.
I am 38 and I don’t know a few of these things. Money stashed away? Ha!
Flat tire? AAA.
I think AAA counts. Or Roadside assistance or what-have-you.
I’m with you on the money stashed away. Two stashes? Hopefully by the time I’m 50. (I’m 39 now.)
In the original article, I loved #10 on the Have List: One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry. To compliment, I always thought on the “Know List” it should include: Know how to be the friend who makes someone laugh and can let someone cry.
Learning how to be there for someone when they need you and learning the let the light shine on your friend can be really difficult thing for a lot of women to learn. Sometimes that only comes when you embrace the friendship with the maturity that comes with age and experience.
By the time you are 30 you should have a handyman/plumber/auto mechanic you can call in an emergency (and that won’t rip you off) and you should be able to parallel park a car. Love these lists!
I much prefer this list to the original. Things you should know #2 should also include how to use jumper cables. Without electrocuting yourself.
You should also know life is a learning experience. You’ll never know it all, and it is ALWAYS okay to ask about the things you don’t know.
So great! Love the one on Jerry McGuire and so glad you put it on the list. It makes me mad to think women believe they aren’t enough on their own. Great post!
Crap, I better get on this.
Wisdom.
I’d like to add the ability to be comfortable, completely by yourself. It took me 30 years to master that one but now, alone time is essential to my mental health.
Also to know its ok to pamper yourself! Feeling down? Get a massage AND a manicure sometimes that’s all we need!
Great update to a well-known list. I agree about pampering oneself and feeling comfortable in your own skin.
I love this. Such a great list. Especially the “you complete me” part, since that line has bugged me for years. I am already complete, thank you very much.
Oh you left out the most important things….sigh
16. Know where your G spot is an prepare to to share that secret with others
17. Own Duct tape
18. Please don’t make us explain football again.
19. If a guy is treating you like a dick it’s cuz he is a dick not a “bad boy”
20. Don’t ever ask the question ” does this make me look fat” again…never. Men don’t care if you got a little extra on the curves
because sexiness is ALL in the mind.
Finally,
21. Not only is Jerry Maguire crap, most Chick flicks, or any love story out of hollywood is crap. The Notebook being the biggest piece of crap of all …do yourself a favor…watch Moonstruck instead!
21. Men grew up watching porn. Women grew up up watching Disney. He’s looking for a porn star and you’re looking for prince charming. If you can turn yourself into a slutty Cinderella or Ariel…you have acheived what they call in nature…balance. It’s a good thing.
sorry posting that it got all jacked up you can figure it out I am sure you are all curvy and smart…ok outta here
When I turned 30 my grandmother gave me this list, I have it on my front door, decorative style, and glance at some of them often.
By 30, you should have …
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age — and some money set aside to help fund it.
8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account — all of which nobody has access to but you.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
13. The belief that you deserve it.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.
By 30, you should know …
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
2. How you feel about having kids.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
8. Where to go — be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat — when your soul needs soothing.
9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
15. Why they say life begins at 30
ummm im sorry i did not mean to repost that whole list.. i feel dumb. I was cutting and pasting it for someone else and POOF it ended up here. SORRY
8. That nobody ever says, “boy, I really regret NOT having sex with that person.”
completely disagree.
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