1. Spend Saturday morning in bed.
Remember the good old days when you could sleep till noon, go out to breakfast in your jammies, and then come home and nap some more? I didn’t spend enough Saturdays that way when I had the chance. Now I have a small person who wakes up no later than 7:30am, no matter the day of the week. And he has basic needs that he expects me to attend to.He wants breakfast! A cup of milk! Some basic level of human interaction! What lunacy is this?!?
2. Sleep through the night.
On the subject of sleep, I haven’t slept straight through the night since before my pregnancy became uncomfortable. That’s over six years of getting up in the night. My son Gabriel doesn’t wake up much these days, but my body has trained itself to jolt awake at odd hours, pitted for the sounds of fussing from the other room. Even when my son is at his dad’s for the weekend, I’m guaranteed to wake up at least once, and probably more. I miss falling asleep at night and not waking up again till morning.
3. Walk around the house naked.
While we’re hardly prudes over here (hello, we only have one bathroom), I don’t want to have a weird naked relationship with my child, so I don’t. But I also like walking around naked sometimes, and I can’t.
4. Have sex whenever I want.
I still like sex, a lot! What the hell, man? It seems wildly unfair that becoming a parent has made it so hard to do the very thing that got me here in the first place.I can’t just Do It because I want to. I have to make sure the lovely child is in bed and asleep, and that has to happen early enough that I’m not completely dead tired, and then I have to worry about locking doors and not making noise, and it’s so unfair.
5. Walk barefoot through my house without impaling my foot on a stray Lego.
Seriously, what is with those things? When they invented Lego, did they have to invent them so painfully stabby? And, did they have to make them so small, carpet colored and difficult to see?
6. Be spontaneous.
Once upon a time, I could decide at 10:00pm on a Friday night that I wanted to go out. I could plan in the morning to leave town that same afternoon. I could change my mind then change it back, then change it again. Now I have to plan things for weekends when Gabriel is at his dad’s, or I have to arrange for a sitter. If it’s something I want to do with Gabriel, I have to make sure that we’re all appropriately dressed and fed and have a bag packed with snacks? Is there going to be an accessible toilet? What time is it? Is it too close to the Afternoon Meltdown?
7. Skip taking care of myself and my house.
I remember a time when I could skip doing laundry for a month, buying new undies as necessary and rewearing my jeans. I remember when I could live in filth if I so desired, when I could declare a sick day for the sake of reading romance novels on the couch, when I could go drink at the beach in the middle of the afternoon. I remember spending endless hours watching ridiculously crappy, brain-melting television. Hey, I led a fulfilling life. It turns out that this whole thing where I’m responsible for feeding and dressing and bathing and raising another human being without killing or ruining him, has seriously impacted my ability to kill and/or ruin myself.
8. Eat ice cream for dinner.
Or a jar of peanut butter and a bag of marshmallows, in bed. Now I’m trying to “set an example” or whatever.
9. Wear a bikini.
Never. Again. I’m more or less comfortable with myself and I think I more or less look okay, but my belly looks like it got shredded by Freddy Krueger and that whole post-partum flappy skin thing? I look like a partially-melted candle.
10. Imagine a life without my son.
There is seriously nothing in the world that is greater than the love I feel for this kid, even if I have to actually cook dinner now as a result. What? Did you expect this to end on anything less than a sappy note about how much I love my child? I’m nothing if not a giant sap. And I love my child, even if parenting stole my carefree youth.
What do you miss most about your life before children? If you could have a kid free day to do whatever you wanted, how would you spend it?
Personally, I would spend it at home, enjoying the peace and quiet. I’d walk around naked and eat ice cream straight from the carton and maybe watch a 12-hour Jersey Shore Marathon.
Jenny Grace has been back in school for a year, raising her son for five, and growing up for twenty nine. She’s not quite done yet. Raised amongst goats and chickens on a ranch in the California countryside, she was sent off to high school at a Hindu yoga center, and spent her youth working at her family’s nightclub and bar. No really, Jenny grew up completely normal. Well, normal for a kid raised by hippies that is. Shrugging off her patchouli steeped roots, Jenny went on to get a Bachelor’s of Arts in Linguistics and a Master’s in Library and Information Science. Now she’s working on her Master’s in Accountancy. Don’t let degrees fool you though; she wastes most of her time with wine and crosswords. Jenny is a cunning linguist, honest beyond reason, and incapable of keeping her mouth shut. You can read more from Jenny Grace on her blog, Miss Disgrace.
Movies in the theater! I miss being able to go to a move at 11:30 on a Saturday or at 10:00pm on a Sunday just because I want to. Pre-baby I saw everything in the theater, good, bad and awful!
Good one! I miss the movie theater where I didn’t have to watch a teenie bop movie or worry about what time the babysitter needs to be relieved.
As a mother of three, I can definitely relate…to ALL of these. I love my kids dearly, and I always feel SO guilty for craving the “every other weekend” when they’re at their dad’s so I can just hear myself think, walk around naked, and do whatever I want! Heck, there have been times when I’ve been ecstatic just to walk into a 7-11 with my boyfriend…just because I can because I don’t have to sit in the car with the kids. LOL
I adore them and I can’t imagine my life without them (I had my first at 19), but sometimes the break can do wonders for your sanity.
I think everyone needs alone time, there’s nothing wrong with that!
I suppose I should thank our little guy for injecting a little more romance in our lives. On date nights, my husband and I are usually giddy with excitement about the fact that its! just! us! It’s almost like we’re just dating again.
Also, I’d give anything to be able to sleep in again. I simply cannot. Even on the rare occasions that we’re out of town, sans child, I’m up by 8 am. In my early 20s, I can recall sleeping until 11 or so, but now, 9 am seems unconscionably late
I dream of sleeping in. Seriously. And then I wake up early.
OMG #9 made me laugh and then cry. I too have an abdominal candle melt.
Right? Righteously unfair.
If I had a day all to myself, I’d CLEAN my bedroom! I’m tired of living in filth!
At the end of the day, I’d regret it and wish I’d spent the day reading a great book.
You need two days all to yourself!
My longing is just to do something. By.My.Self! I get zero alone time since I’m the sole parent of two. Yet I know that if I ever got a break, I would probably “clock watch” and not fully enjoy myself for the guilt. Getting a break *and* enjoying it takes practice. At least for me. I would love lots of practice.
Practice makes perfect
So what you are saying is, before I have kids, enjoy the sleeping in and the doing what I want when I want attitude? Most excellent.
YES. Do it for the rest of us.
I’m doing just that right now for all of you right now…in my pajamas at 2 in the afternoon on my day off from work in my still uncleaned house…which is starting to make me feel a little guilty now.
DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. Embrace it!!
YES. For the team.
All of these things. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
On the bright side though, my “kid” is 16, will graduate in a couple of years and I am totally planning for her to go AWAY to school.
So almost full circle?
And then you’ll probably miss her. I don’t think we ever get it QUITE right.
I really miss some of the most simple things…like riding ALONE in my car with my windows down, blaring some music, and singing at the top of my lungs.
YES! Although, I have to admit, my kids are awesome about music, so that happens, but the windows are ALWAYS an issue!
I totally just did that yesterday! It was a very zen thing for me.
Just being alone, period, I think.
From the other side of the fence, my youngest just turned 19 and started her first job. That first day, I cried all day. The house is so eerily quiet w/o Lady Gaga blaring in the background and her chattering away on her cellphone or rushing in to inquire if her new hairstyle is epic or not :-}
Enjoy every lego, every peanut butter stain in your lovely couch, every time that little one runs to you with a boo boo; cause all too soon this too shall pass… I’m just sayin….
I’m sure I’ll miss it when it’s gone
You covered the list pretty well! The spontaneous coming and going is something I really miss. The other day I wanted to run out for something really quick. Unfortunately for me, my 7 & 5 yo kids are not so much allowed/ready to be home alone.
My parents used to joke that I used to watch my baby sister for them so they could run errands, ha! I was 3 when she was born.
I swear that’s why my siblings are so spread out. I’m 14 years older than my youngest brother, built in free babysitting!
I love this article for the way it reminds me of how great I have it right now, in a world where way too many of my friends are having babies.
And yet, at the same time, I sort of envy them.
Enjoy it while it lasts!
Whenever I do get a day “off” – I find myself packing it with all the errands and chores that have been piling up around here. I struggle to relax – there is too much that doesn’t get done on a daily basis and I find myself dreaming of a day to run errands w/o having to cram them in after dinner. But I always try to include a nap on those days…once all the chores are done, of course!
Naps. Naps are critical.
Seeing my husband. He works while I am at home and I work while he is at home. Financially this is working for us now but I miss hanging out on the weekends and dates and of course the reason we have a child
Yeah, it’s nice for child care expenses (which are astronomical), but it’ll be nice when you can see each other more
I’d like to take a shower without a little boy popping in just as I’m washing something embarrassing or shaving something…
Then, I’d immediately blow dry and style my hair instead of letting it air dry and then rushing to ‘fix’ the mess it dried into.
THEN, I’d put on ironed clothes and got to the mall to sit and people watch. But not at the damn play place. I would NOT have nuggets of any kind. I would drink wine and read. Probably not at the mall though..
A leisurely shower. Alone. Ahhhhh.
Be in the bathroom in peace! I would love to be able to close the bathroom door and have it actually stay closed until I open it myself.
Of course that will probably never happen since my daughter is only 1 of the interrupters along with my husband, 2 dogs and cat.
Oh well, it would be nice
I am a bathroom door locker. I can’t STAND being barged in on.
Yes, to all of them!
Sleep is what I miss the most. But I’d also say I really miss having phone conversations with people. REAL phone conversations.
Now it’s, “Hi, Michelle! How are you. Not now Sweetie, I’m on the phone. What’s that Michelle? Your dog did what? Okay, Sweetie, I’ll get you some juice. No, not you Michelle, juice for Sweetie. Well, you can have some too, if you want. Sweetie, please come in here and clean this up! So back to your dog? What? Oh…okay, bye.”
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