So this is how the other half lives?

BTS Collage

Andy and I are in our house. Alone. For the first hour, I was sitting fully clothed in a cold shower having a panic attack, because everything about this feels wrong. Andy walked in, leaned against the tub wall and threw a towel at my face. So what do we do now? We could drink? […]

A Boy Named Sue

Platform 934

When you have three kids who are basically the same age, they kinda glob together into one mega kid who you assume gets enough specialness and attention from you. And that’s mostly true. They like the same things, eat the same foods, bath together, and basically function like those two younger Kardashian sisters who haven’t […]

New York or Bust.

Jude Hails a Cab

Today I am off to New York City for a few days, and the cherry on top of that sundae is bringing my Jude. I prepped him by watching You’ve Got Mail, Big, a 24 hour Law & Order marathon and making him give me $15 every time he got something out of the fridge. […]

A Totally Hypothetical In No Way Real STOP STARING AT ME Cautionary Tale

Once upon a time, a little boy woke up his sleeping mother to tell her his pee pee hurt. Not understanding pee pees herself, and realizing he was far too young for the clap, she assured the little boy that perhaps he’d slept on it wrong and it was sore, then sent him back to […]

She Pees.

photo(75)

Gigi is what I like to call, home potty trained. Which basically means, at home, she generally/mostly goes to the bathroom in the toilet. Everywhere else? No, that’s disgusting, but at home? Yes, ok fine. In full disclosure, I’ll admit to not hitting the potty training train extra hard this time around. We have a […]

Blanket Apology

Flash Dance

Growing up, I lived in a house with a minimum of 3-4 animals at a time. My mom was always taking in animals, and at one point even had a room with over 100 bearded dragons. Seriously. Having friends over was stressful and required hours of prep work; vacuuming up hair, lighting smelly candles, lint-rolling […]

Why Summer Break Doesn’t Suck

everyone

Today is Jude’s last day of school. We did it, another year. Wyatt finished pre-school last week, which could not have come at a better time. While he started off the year strong, running into the classroom and wanting absolutely nothing to do with me, the last three weeks have been a shit storm of […]

Trampolines, Possible Death Traps or Giant Sex Cages?

giant trampolines

What’s more controversial than breastfeeding, circumcision or genocide? Giant trampolines. Yesterday we bought one, I say “we” because I was there, and since I didn’t lay down in front of the cart in the middle of Sam’s Club, I guess I allowed it to happen. Andy has wanted one for a million years, and because […]

Her third year.

Once upon a time, a beautiful and really rested and youthful looking queen was pregnant with a baby girl. Everyone in the kingdom was super excited, and the queen just glowed with happiness, as she already had two handsome princes who, while totally adorable and sweet, mostly liked playing video games and peeing in the […]