My hips don’t lie.

By |2011-06-19T18:54:41-04:00January 30th, 2009|Musings, Parenting|

I don't know what my problem is. I'm pregnant. How is that I keep forgetting that when I go to do super important things like buy beer or kicking the ass of the lady in the make up aisle at Target for completely cock-blocking the mascara section. It is absolutely annoying, because the only make [...]

Me, raw.

By |2011-06-19T18:56:06-04:00January 20th, 2009|Mental Health, Musings, Parenting|

Rough, I know. But honest. These days, this is me. Ok, kinda a blurry dirty mirror kind of me, but me none the less. Snarly hair. Black yoga pants. Tank Tops. This is as good as it gets, folks. Poor husband. I have already given him my complete permission to call Stacy and Clinton of [...]

How I earned 4 more weeks of bed rest, aka, why your kids should never be in a position to look inside your vagina.

By |2017-06-14T16:04:30-04:00January 16th, 2009|Parenting|

First off, thanks to all of you who said such nice things (and even sent wonderful emails, CaJoh!)in regards to my husband being laid off. Unfortunately, it's not an uncommon occurrence these days, especially in my area. We are lucky, in that he hasn't lost his job, but is off work for a few months [...]

I obviously need some sort of hobby.

By |2017-06-14T14:17:39-04:00January 11th, 2009|Parenting|

It's that time of my pregnancy folks!  Time for the crazies to take over, for my friends to stop taking my calls, for you all to wonder why the fuck you keep coming back here to read anything I write because I am a disgusting, disgusting psycho, and for my husband to wish he had [...]

Greetings from the couch.

By |2011-06-19T18:58:42-04:00January 6th, 2009|Musings, Parenting|

Bed rest can suck it.Apparently, my blood pressure was high at my appointment yesterday, and that, along with some very annoyingly constant cramping, has sounded an alarm, and I have been restricted to couch duty until my re-check next week.So, I am doing my mothering and wifing from the couch this week. I think it's [...]

Another one for the books.

By |2011-06-19T19:00:21-04:00December 28th, 2008|Musings, Parenting|

Christmas '08 was the balls. I loved it, the boys loved it, even my scroogey hubby loved it. The gifts were amazing, the family wasn't smothering, and the food was to die for. The boys got completely spoiled, and it was the first year they really got the whole Santa Claus delivering gifts thing, so [...]

Lemons into lemoncello, a Christmas card story

By |2017-06-14T14:28:13-04:00December 23rd, 2008|Parenting|

Once upon a time, my home was filled with cute, adorable, saccharine filled Christmas pictures. The likes of which made for the types of Christmas cards one would keep displayed year round. Giggles. Babies in oversized Santa hats. Puppies hiding under the tree. It was a gay time. But this year, with the biting winter [...]

Merry.

By |2011-06-19T19:01:45-04:00December 21st, 2008|Musings, Parenting|

Holy balls.It's freezing.After a full day of last minute shopping, I am frostbit and chapped in places I have never been frostbitten and chapped before.But, it's Christmas time. Always a cluster fuck, eh?I mean, don't get me wrong, I completely love it. The pretty snow, the cookies, the food, the presents, that weird, tingly magical [...]

Batting 1000

By |2011-06-19T19:03:26-04:00December 15th, 2008|Musings, Parenting|

You know when your kids totally do something new and shocking, like, oh, I don't know...let's say pull a dining room chair up to the kitchen counter and start playing with the knife block or dick around on the stove. And you are all like, where in fucks sake did you learn that shit? And [...]