Halloween, the morning after

By |2011-06-19T19:14:34-04:00November 1st, 2008|Marriage, Parenting|

How do I know it was a good night? I woke up this morning with what looked like a a piece of poop in my bra, but in reality, was a chunk of Twix bar from the 20 I had devoured over the course of last night. That's how I measure success these days, by [...]

Corner office, flying shrimp

By |2011-06-19T19:20:47-04:00October 13th, 2008|Marriage, Musings|

This is a true story of 7 strangers, picked to eat together at a hibachi grill and catch shrimp in their mouths, to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start being real...and by real, I mean totally try and talk you and your husband into swinging with them.So, my brilliant, handsome, [...]

In no particular order…

By |2017-06-14T15:09:34-04:00September 29th, 2008|Marriage, Pop Culture Addiction|

1. Pft. I am a tough sell. I've known this for a while, but after your 8374756382940 Dear John letters, it starts to hit a nerve. Bottom line. I curse too much, use lewd language, and set a tone that generally doesn't jive with most publication standards. Especially of the mommy variety. Oh, and PR [...]

Gloria Steinem come punch me in the face now.

By |2011-06-19T19:31:05-04:00September 22nd, 2008|Marriage|

They came to shut my water off today. Which was annoying, as I was all curled up on the couch watching CNN for the latest on the Travis Barker/ DJ AM plane crash saga (which CNN kept interrupting with all this "filler" about terrorist bombings and gas shortages...hello, we want the real news, folks!), chomping [...]

Disenfranchised.

By |2011-06-19T19:32:23-04:00September 17th, 2008|Marriage, Parenting|

It is 8:30 am. I am eating a cold chicken burrito from Chipotle. In bed. No beans. Extra rice. Extra guac. It could be because I woke up starving and if I did not immediately eat something rightfuckingnow I would throw up right then and there in bed, and instead of bringing me crackers or [...]

The Scarlet Letter

By |2017-06-14T14:18:22-04:00September 12th, 2008|Marriage|

I have sex. You know, with my husband...mostly...I don't own stock in D batteries for nothing (wink, wink....um...totally exaggerating darling, you are a tiger in the sack. roar.). So yeah, I said it. Please note my keen ability to announce to the world wide web my gift for getting it on, yet when it comes [...]

Running (er briskly walking) with the devil

By |2017-06-14T16:30:27-04:00July 25th, 2008|Marriage|

I fee like I have gotten fat. That's because you have. Seriously! You've noticed?  Noticed what? That you can't fit into anything, your arms have bat wings, and you have been secretly photoshopping your double chin out of the 4th of July picnic pictures? Um, yeah, I've noticed. Wow, I appreciate your candor. I guess [...]