The funny thing about vows

Twenty Stitches

May 10, 2013

The following is a totally true and gory story. Also, yes, Andy’s doctor really writes prescriptions for hand jobs, but I don’t think you can actually cash them in at pharmacies. They’re like those coupons you give people on Valentine’s Day when you don’t feel like spending actual money on them. Britt! He never says [...]

Read the full article →

The Sprats

May 7, 2013

Jack Sprat could eat no fat. His wife could eat no lean. And so between them both, you see, They licked the platter clean. The other day, out of the blue, Andy asked me if I found him as attractive as I did in high school. My immediate reaction was to laugh, which I did, [...]

Read the full article →

Happy Birthday, Papa.

April 5, 2013

The kids call him papa. I think it makes people uncomfortable, which only goads us on, triple dog daring us into those weird couples who refer to each other as “papa” and “mama” across the room from each other at parties or in line for the complimentary hotel continental breakfast. We have all our important [...]

Read the full article →

Slap Science: March 1

March 4, 2013

from: brittanyherself@gmail.com to: agibbons1@gmail.com You know how your snoring is out of control? I’d like to try a new experiment in an attempt to solve the problem. If you are down… from: agibbons1@gmail.com to: brittanyherself@gmail.com And slapping me across the face helps my snoring how? from: brittanyherself@gmail.com to: agibbons1@gmail.com THIS IS HOW SCIENCE WORKS ANDY. [...]

Read the full article →

Unhappy Ending

February 26, 2013

There are two things in life I won’t do. Hard limit. 1. Take a cruise. Boats. Ocean. Deep water. Claustrophobia. Sea beasts. I don’t care how awesome Road Rules Semester at Sea or The Suite Life on Deck made it look. No. A million times over. If Waterworld became a real thing, it would be [...]

Read the full article →

L.A. Part Two: There’s somebody sleeping in my bed. And he’s still there.

February 4, 2013

I get weird in hotels. Under normal circumstances, in my home, I’m a germaphobe. I don’t use the upstairs bathroom because it perpetually smells like boy. I have my own orange juice in the fridge because I’m the only one who likes it extra pulpy, but also because I drink out of the bottle and [...]

Read the full article →

Sex Music

January 21, 2013

Brittany throws her work aside and they do it super fast because she’s super invested in the hour long comedy and really wants to find out how it ends.

Read the full article →

How The Hell Am I Still Married?

December 18, 2012

Wait… how many years have we been married? I don’t know? Seven? Eight? Oh my God, eight, this year is eight, shit. We totally missed the window for our seven year itches! If year seven is an itch, then eight is a rash. Sometimes it’s helpful to think of marriage as a sexually transmitted disease [...]

Read the full article →

Is Motherhood Sexy?

December 12, 2012

The other day I got an email asking me if I was making motherhood sexy. Gosh, I have no idea. Was I supposed to be? Would my kids describe me as sexy to their friends? Have I been doing this wrong the whole time? I mean, it ended up being an email about pole dance [...]

Read the full article →

Fish Tank Head by Brittany & Andy

October 26, 2012

I took a mental health break this week. I’ve never done that before, but the weirdest thing happened. Like, my body started to shut down. I was exhausted, my bones hurt, I got confused in the grocery store, my anxiety had taken over. I felt it rumbling around for a while now underneath the surface. [...]

Read the full article →
Page 1 of 14
1
2
3
4
5
...
14