My youth and current lack of it.

Throwback 2014 Wrap-Up

June 4, 2014

I stood on the gravel with bags of marshmallows in my arms. The sun was just about down and as I stood at the entrance of the pavilion, I could see the fire roaring, people dancing, corn hole matches being smack talked, honeymooners kissing, beers being cheered, selfies being snapped, and smiling. So much smiling. And […]

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Elementary School. It’s not all limos and Happy Meals.

January 22, 2014

Last week Gigi’s midterm report came home informing me she recognized no letters or letter sounds, and she was unable to write her name. Which is weird because she definitely knew all those things going into her second year of preschool. A preschool that apparently bases it’s curriculum on The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. […]

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Adulthood. You’re Not Doing It Right.

August 21, 2013

I feel like there are tons of things about being a woman or an adult or even a mom, I should know. And it’s only when I come into a situation in which I should clearly be able to effectively function, that I realize, I have no idea what I’m doing. Somebody take away my […]

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The Call of the Commune

June 21, 2013

I think one of the scariest parts of my marriage, for Andy, is the knowledge that I am always four seconds from being ready and willing to move to a commune. I blame my parents. There are entire photo albums of me laying on patchwork quilts on the grass next to five or six other […]

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Congratulations, Graduate!

June 10, 2013

It’s that time of year. The time, before heading off to the graduation parties of relatives that were young, like, four seconds ago, and I sit there holding a foam plate of pasta salad mentally doing the math on just how fucking old I am now and how fucking long it’s been since I’ve graduated […]

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Open Mouth Kissing My Thirties

April 16, 2013

Andy and I are the same age. Born a mere 23 days apart. But if you ask Jude, our math savant son… Andy is 32. I am 30. So, fine, I lied about my age to my six year old son who could give all of zero fucks about the number. But, I cared and […]

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Garage Fridge

March 13, 2013

This weekend we put a fridge in our garage. We have a garage fridge. Exciting, right? Okay just stay with me here, I have a point, let me muddle about to get there a sec. We put a fridge in our garage… and then I had an emotional breakdown. See? There’s the hook you were […]

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I Wish I Was…

September 3, 2012

I went through a phase where I begged my parents to legally change my name to Kimberly, when they selfishly refused, I promised to only give my kids the coolest names ever, which is when I swore I’d name my daughter Mercedes. Ahem.

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Between You, Me and the Goblin.

August 8, 2012

By the time I was 14, I knew my way around a boy. Kissing, groping, dry humping…hello, Jordan Catalano in the rain, motivation enough for a girl to find her way around a pant bulge or two. You know, everything except that whole all the way sort of thing. It wasn’t for lack of trying, […]

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The Swamp

July 23, 2012

I don’t like to get all sappy up in here, I prefer to keep the gooey emotions where they belong, namely, the corner of my closet where I eat my cupcakes; but I’m about to start my period, and I watched The Blind Side last night soooo…okay,  I’ll be quick. There was a swamp around […]

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