It’s that time of year. The time, before heading off to the graduation parties of relatives that were young, like, four seconds ago, and I sit there holding a foam plate of pasta salad mentally doing the math on just how fucking old I am now and how fucking long it’s been since I’ve graduated […]
Today I posted on Facebook: “You guys, the most amazing things happen when you stop being afraid you’re going to fuck up, and just do it already!” And then the most amazing thing happened. Click here to find out more!
Andy and I are the same age. Born a mere 23 days apart. But if you ask Jude, our math savant son… Andy is 32. I am 30. So, fine, I lied about my age to my six year old son who could give all of zero fucks about the number. But, I cared and […]
This weekend we put a fridge in our garage. We have a garage fridge. Exciting, right? Okay just stay with me here, I have a point, let me muddle about to get there a sec. We put a fridge in our garage… and then I had an emotional breakdown. See? There’s the hook you were […]
I was having dinner with a friend the other night when her phone dinged on the table, and as she checked the text with obvious exasperation, she looked up at me and then out the window at the dance of headlights playing on the street beside us and whispered wistfully, I wish I could work […]
A new year. Time for me to be all profound and manafesto-y. Maybe fire off a quote or limerick or something. While 2012 can be summed up in the words of Tommy Boy, “Ow, that’s gonna leave a mark,” 2013 is blowing up Monty Python style, ‘Tis but a scratch.” I spent last year both […]
This is a personal issue I’ve been struggling with. And, by personal, I mean mine. I can’t possibly articulate, value or judge your beliefs. I can only wrestle with my own. There’s an old joke amongst former Catholic School attendees; you can tell who went to Catholic School because they’re all atheists now. Many of […]
Have you confessed yet?
I don’t like to get all sappy up in here, I prefer to keep the gooey emotions where they belong, namely, the corner of my closet where I eat my cupcakes; but I’m about to start my period, and I watched The Blind Side last night soooo…okay, I’ll be quick. There was a swamp around […]
I have been mole-y since birth. My arms, my shoulders, my legs, below my mouth, I even have not one, but two moles on my vagina. Which makes me special, right mom? I’ve only ever seen one, and without a mirror, I can’t confirm the second, though I’ve had various reports. It’s like the Loch […]