Have you tried a Diva Cup? Sometimes it takes a few cycles. Did you give it a few cycles? You have to really push it up there. Like, pinch the rim and push it up there.
First of all, if you came here via a search like “OMG SOMEONE STOLE MY PHOTO ONLINE!?,” this is awkward, but I actually have no real advice for you outside of procuring a lawyer and having them handle all the legal crap. Way easier. Also, maybe go see Maleficent twice in a 5 day span […]
I stood on the gravel with bags of marshmallows in my arms. The sun was just about down and as I stood at the entrance of the pavilion, I could see the fire roaring, people dancing, corn hole matches being smack talked, honeymooners kissing, beers being cheered, selfies being snapped, and smiling. So much smiling. And […]
We spent Easter in a family owned restaurant in Erie Michigan, and as we placed our drink orders at the bar before taking our seats – as Catholics are wont to do – I became intimidated by the requests for Manhattans and Whiskeys on the rocks and Dry Martinis, so I panicked and ordered a […]
I’ve had a lot of downtime, and like chicken soup to the soul, I’ve been feeding the healing process with movies and celebrity gossip and pizza rolls. None of it particularly healthy, but soothing in the same way people on ecstasy like suckers. Somewhere between Meatballs and Meatballs 2 I heard that Charlie Hunnam had […]
So here’s the thing, I love wood. This whole mess is all because I love wood. And I had kids. Those two things. The back story is that every time one of us goes out of town, the other always tries to have a surprise for them when they come home. Sometimes it’s a poster […]
Sometimes when I go to Mexico- and by sometimes I mean both times I have ever been there- I get a condition I call jellyfish hands. Basically I break out in an intense full body rash that makes my hands sting like I’ve been fisting jellyfish and I’m unable to use them as anything other […]
It’s that time of year. The time, before heading off to the graduation parties of relatives that were young, like, four seconds ago, and I sit there holding a foam plate of pasta salad mentally doing the math on just how fucking old I am now and how fucking long it’s been since I’ve graduated […]
Today I posted on Facebook: “You guys, the most amazing things happen when you stop being afraid you’re going to fuck up, and just do it already!” And then the most amazing thing happened. Click here to find out more!
Andy and I are the same age. Born a mere 23 days apart. But if you ask Jude, our math savant son… Andy is 32. I am 30. So, fine, I lied about my age to my six year old son who could give all of zero fucks about the number. But, I cared and […]