Musings

For myself.

May 18, 2011

The entire day leading up to it, I was making my list, envisioning myself pushing the scarlet cart up and down the aisles, leaving the kids at home with Andy while I try on cute shoes and cheap bras.

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My Golden Mother’s Day.

May 9, 2011

Mother’s Day this year was extra special, as it fell on the day I actually became a mother. My golden Mother’s Day, if you will. Sunday, Jude turned five.  That’s a whole hand of age. In three pushes, that boy transformed me into a mom, thus ensuring I could never again wear low rise jeans, [...]

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The kind of stuff I worry about.

April 27, 2011

I can’t be the only person who thinks about this…

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Easter Dinner.

April 25, 2011

Because, what kind of crazy person carries spandex pants with them in their purse?

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Open Marriage.

March 10, 2011

I just don’t know that I could ever be down with an open marriage.

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Playing House.

February 23, 2011

We have been in our forever house for a year. I would be lying if I said there weren’t still at least three boxes in the garage left to unpack. I’m assuming they are full of sports bras, ovulation tests and my Jack Lallane Juicer, because it’s been 14 months and I have yet to [...]

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The talk.

February 21, 2011

There is absolutely nothing I love more than talking about intercourse and vaginas with my father. (sarcasm.) When I switched to public high school, he sat me down to tell me that if I ever took my bra off I’d get pregnant, and that speaking to boys was an invitation for rape or marriage. Since [...]

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The cure for the down lows.

February 18, 2011

Do you know how to braid? Should I whiten my teeth, like, pretend you are looking at me, and I look like myself, only with whiter teeth, how do I look? Can I paint my toes hot pink in the winter, or is that like white after Labor Day? Andy, seriously, can you tell I’m [...]

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Fat girl. Skinny jeans.

February 2, 2011

I was never cut out for the convent. I matured very early. The boobs, while not ideal for God’s work, were perfect for getting me teased through junior high and felt up in high school. But, they came with a price. A foundation made of huge thighs. I have been called thunder thighs exactly two [...]

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It takes a village.

February 1, 2011

One. Two. Three. Three reasons why today, I’m wearing the same leggings I wore yesterday.  And the day before that.  And the day before that. Three reasons why we’re having cereal for dinner, we need a new plunger, I’ll be working past bedtime, and I have to wash the rug next to the toilet.  Again. [...]

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