Overage Drinking

We spent Easter in a family owned restaurant in Erie Michigan, and as we placed our drink orders at the bar before taking our seats – as Catholics are wont to do – I became intimidated by the requests for Manhattans and Whiskeys on the rocks and Dry Martinis, so I panicked and ordered a […]

We’re Boring. We Can’t Help It.

For a while there, we could blame our hermitism and societal lameness on the children. Gosh, we’d love to go out, but we don’t have a sitter…. we’re exhausted… Wyatt is sick… Jude has a game in the morning… Gigi swallowed our car keys.  Kids are like built in get-out-of-shit cards. But the real truth of […]

Comfort Flaws

The Real Christian Grey

I’ve had a lot of downtime, and like chicken soup to the soul, I’ve been feeding the healing process with movies and celebrity gossip and pizza rolls. None of it particularly healthy, but soothing in the same way people on ecstasy like suckers. Somewhere between Meatballs and Meatballs 2 I heard that Charlie Hunnam had […]

Adulthood. You’re Not Doing It Right.

Soft Cup

I feel like there are tons of things about being a woman or an adult or even a mom, I should know. And it’s only when I come into a situation in which I should clearly be able to effectively function, that I realize, I have no idea what I’m doing. Somebody take away my […]

The Selfie

Lemme Take Your Picture Collage

Sometimes I think the front facing camera is the best invention of the 21st century. Probably even better than the segway or Bruno Mars. It’s a girl’s best friend. We know our angles and have patience with ourselves as we try to figure out how to aim the camera so our eyebrows are even and […]

Congratulations, Graduate!

It’s that time of year. The time, before heading off to the graduation parties of relatives that were young, like, four seconds ago, and I sit there holding a foam plate of pasta salad mentally doing the math on just how fucking old I am now and how fucking long it’s been since I’ve graduated […]

As It Stands

I keep meaning to say more about things. I have conversation ADD. Hey I bumped an old person with my car… oh look! Cool Ranch Dorito Tacos! Plus, I’m like day 3 into a fight with Andy that he has no idea we are having. I’m irritated as hell over his ambivalence, but he seems […]