408 Months

BrittanyInTheKitchen(brands)

My friend recently had a baby boy, and he’s adorable. With each growing month, she puts up a new photo of the little prince touting his accomplishments, which developmental stages he’s powering through, and noting what he currently loves and hates at that moment in his life. Why don’t we do this as adults? Do we just […]

2015: The Game Plan

zero fucks given

I woke up the day after Christmas, briefly forgetting that it had happened. That is, until I walked into my living room to find crap everywhere, empty wine bottles from the previous night’s celebrations all over the counter, and I turned on the news to promises of weight loss and finally, finally, being a less […]

Overage Drinking

We spent Easter in a family owned restaurant in Erie Michigan, and as we placed our drink orders at the bar before taking our seats – as Catholics are wont to do – I became intimidated by the requests for Manhattans and Whiskeys on the rocks and Dry Martinis, so I panicked and ordered a […]

We’re Boring. We Can’t Help It.

For a while there, we could blame our hermitism and societal lameness on the children. Gosh, we’d love to go out, but we don’t have a sitter…. we’re exhausted… Wyatt is sick… Jude has a game in the morning… Gigi swallowed our car keys.  Kids are like built in get-out-of-shit cards. But the real truth of […]

Comfort Flaws

The Real Christian Grey

I’ve had a lot of downtime, and like chicken soup to the soul, I’ve been feeding the healing process with movies and celebrity gossip and pizza rolls. None of it particularly healthy, but soothing in the same way people on ecstasy like suckers. Somewhere between Meatballs and Meatballs 2 I heard that Charlie Hunnam had […]

Adulthood. You’re Not Doing It Right.

Soft Cup

I feel like there are tons of things about being a woman or an adult or even a mom, I should know. And it’s only when I come into a situation in which I should clearly be able to effectively function, that I realize, I have no idea what I’m doing. Somebody take away my […]