Earrings for Gigi?

Gigi Piercing

First of all, four year olds aren’t in charge of making life decisions. Logically, I know this to be true. I’m the parent. No means no. Because I said so. I walked up hill both ways in the snow to do whatever asinine thing you are trying to weasel out of to play XBox. I’ll […]

It’s Just Me and This Weird Thing Sticking Out of My Stomach.

TV Console That Killed Me

So here’s the thing, I love wood. This whole mess is all because I love wood. And I had kids. Those two things. The back story is that every time one of us goes out of town, the other always tries to have a surprise for them when they come home. Sometimes it’s a poster […]

If These Spanx Could Talk

Brittany in Spanx

We spent last weekend at a wedding for one of Andy’s college friends, and it was one of those situations where he was in the wedding, but I was not, and that’s fine. Seriously. The less I need longline strapless bras in my life, the better. They always start off okay, but by hour three, […]

How To Assemble Furniture

FB Ikea

Yesterday I tried to put together a television console we had purchased for the play room. Nothing fancy, just an Ikea clearance item we picked up a few weeks ago that I was tired of Andy giving me the annoyed face about every time he tripped over the heavy box going out to the garage. […]

Seven Days in Mexico

Tres Rios

As we sat on our canopy bed along the beach, sleeping under our straw hats and dark sunglasses, two thin figures stepped into our sun. They were young, maybe 20, with tan skin and spiky jersey shore hair and hands full of glossy flyers. Heyyyyy you wanna go to Coco Bongo? I’m sorry what? Coco […]

Jellyfish Hands

The rash

Sometimes when I go to Mexico- and by sometimes I mean both times I have ever been there- I get a condition I call jellyfish hands. Basically I break out in an intense full body rash that makes my hands sting like I’ve been fisting jellyfish and I’m unable to use them as anything other […]

Adulthood. You’re Not Doing It Right.

Soft Cup

I feel like there are tons of things about being a woman or an adult or even a mom, I should know. And it’s only when I come into a situation in which I should clearly be able to effectively function, that I realize, I have no idea what I’m doing. Somebody take away my […]

Andy. Hero.

Andy and Jude

Andy and I have been sitting on the couches of our living room staring at a tv that is not on, in complete silence, for about 10 minutes. Aside from my tear filled “thank you,” in the center of the restaurant, we haven’t spoken since 12:o5pm Eastern Time. And I only know that because in […]

Toothless Kid Problems

Toothless

A few weeks ago, Jude lost his front teeth. It was very dramatic, in that, he wouldn’t pull them out and insisted that no one touch them whilst they hang there by a single vein making us all collectively barf our faces off every time he spoke to us. Then they fell out and I […]