The cure for the down lows.

Do you know how to braid? Should I whiten my teeth, like, pretend you are looking at me, and I look like myself, only with whiter teeth, how do I look? Can I paint my toes hot pink in the winter, or is that like white after Labor Day? Andy, seriously, can you tell I’m […]

It’s Valentine’s Day

Puppy Love

And you know what that means? Puppy love, of course. Also, awkward making out/possible sex in the car before we go in to relieve the sitter after sushi assuming we don’t fight over whose the better driver or over how much wine I drank, but yeah, also, puppy love! UPDATE FROM ANDY:  Brittany has already […]

The gift Andy doesn’t know he already got me.

Gigi and Me

So, what are you getting me for Christmas? Gigi. Um no, I got you Gigi already, no re-gifting. Well, what are you getting me? Jude, Wyatt and a gift certificate to Best Buy. I thought we couldn’t re-gift our kids to each other? I don’t remember ever officially giving them to you, but they play […]

Las Vegas.

Rumor Hotel

You know in Sixteen Candles, when the Long Duk Dong opens the door the day of the wedding, all hung over after spending the night before drinking and riding a stationary bike with his new style American girlfriend, to tell Jake that Samantha isn’t home, she’s at the church getting married to the oily bohunk? […]

That whole, being meant for eachother thing….

The Kiss

Are you seriously watching a recorded replay of your video game battle from last night? Um, I’m sorry, aren’t you the one who just spent 2 hours youtubing how to play a ukulele? Touche Andy, touche.  There are one hundred thousand other reasons, just like this, that are getting us on a plane today, for […]


Gate D2, LaGuardia Airport 4:13am

In my experience, nothing extraordinary ever happens at 4am. When I was a teenager, it was sneaking back into my bedroom window before dawn, praying my mama wasn’t waiting in my room threatening to send me to a convent where they don’t allow push-up bras or wine coolers. In college, it meant drunk food at […]


cemetary sheep 1

I am really bad at explaining things to my children. Especially death. They are still waiting for my mom’s dog, Avery, to get back from the dog movie theater. How many times can a dog watch 17 Again? Lots. But, people are harder. Thankfully.  They haven’t lost anyone they were close to yet. I dread […]



I’ve talked about tattoos before. I have a love affair with tattoos. Not the obnoxious, in your face kind. The special ones. Reserved for the most precious of reasons. I’m not poetic about very many things, but there is something impossibly romantic about the thought of etching a memory permanently into your flesh. Which says […]

Father’s Day 4: It just keeps getting better.

Picnik collage

I never know what to get Andy for Father’s Day. His first father’s day, I got him a bunch of framed pictures of Jude for his desk, and a set of expensive lobster shell cracker things. Andy: I love these pictures.  What is this metal thing?  A tuning fork? me:  A tuning fork?  No, it’s […]


Have you ever been driving somewhere, and, before you know it, you’re there and you have no idea how you got there. I haven’t been present for a while. My body was here, and every so often, familiar words would escape from my mouth, but for months, my mind was somewhere else, and my heart […]