How The Hell Am I Still Married?


Wait… how many years have we been married? I don’t know? Seven? Eight? Oh my God, eight, this year is eight, shit. We totally missed the window for our seven year itches! If year seven is an itch, then eight is a rash. Sometimes it’s helpful to think of marriage as a sexually transmitted disease […]

The Swamp

I don’t like to get all sappy up in here, I prefer to keep the gooey emotions where they belong, namely, the corner of my closet where I eat my cupcakes; but I’m about to start my period, and I watched The Blind Side last night soooo…okay,  I’ll be quick. There was a swamp around […]

Her third year.

Once upon a time, a beautiful and really rested and youthful looking queen was pregnant with a baby girl. Everyone in the kingdom was super excited, and the queen just glowed with happiness, as she already had two handsome princes who, while totally adorable and sweet, mostly liked playing video games and peeing in the […]

A Photo Essay: I think I wanna marry you.

I recently received an email asking how Andy and I got engaged, and because I actually have engagement photos, and I finally figured out what button makes my scanner work and can stop screaming CRUCIO! at it and throwing it across the office, I thought, why not? Plus Andy is all, it’s not magic if […]

The Marriage Sermon.

In order to get married in the Catholic church, you have to complete pre-marital counseling.  I think that’s pretty typical as far as religions go, this sort of antiquated attempt to prepare couples for the commitment, importance, and work involved in maintaining a successful marriage. Or as Catholics call it, this is how making babies […]

The Art of Mothering Things.

This is the wrapper from the band aid that goes on mama’s pee pee. Looking back, I think the highlight of my evening was when Wyatt came out of my bathroom, holding the stray wrapper from one of my maxi pads, and announcing his find to the dinner table. Whose guests included my 86 year […]

To Gigi, With Love.

Lots of memories in my life are fuzzy. How I got the scar under my chin. The time I woke up in an RV outside a Bass Pro Shop. The George Clinton concert I went to in college. But, I distinctly remember pushing Gigi out. Maybe it was the lack of drugs or the post […]