I should be the President of the entire continent

The Cliff

December 31, 2012

Why can’t all cliffs be this awesome?

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The Boy Scouts

April 10, 2012

As a parent, we have the crappy job of making decisions regarding our kids. Most of the time, they are super easy, like if they’ll buy lunch that day, or if they should wear a jacket. Other decisions are trickier, like if they can play at Joe’s house even though his dad has guns, or [...]

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Voting with my Vagina

March 9, 2012

You can find my shirts on Zazzle until I get my own line like the Kardashians.

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Less funny, more REALLY.

February 20, 2012

To be fair, SNL hasn’t been consistently funny since Seth Meyers took over as head writer, REALLY.

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Political Irrelevance.

February 3, 2012

Since then, if you have had any interaction on any form of social media, you have seen a virtual cluster fuck of outcry at this decision, and a mountain of furious opinions coming in from both sides.

And now, I’m going to elaborate on mine…kinda.

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I invent things.

January 10, 2012

Andy cannot stand my face these days. I honestly can’t blame him, I’ve been positively miserable to live with. I’ve been all yell-y and angst-y and irritable. I’m not really sleeping, I feel like one eyebrow is more arched than the other, and I have this weird mole on my arm that I can’t get [...]

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The 99% Thing.

November 9, 2011

Like the 25% of American Adults who have genital herpes, or the 70% of us who think Javier Bardem and Denny from Grey’s Anatomy are the same exact person.

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Patriotic.

September 28, 2011

This is  a totally true story, though I changed the name of the person involved so I don’t get assassinated or my voter card taken away, if they even do that, I’m not sure, but I think really stupid people vote all the time, so I should probably be fine.  Plus, wouldn’t the REAL punishment NOT being [...]

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Let’s get Uncomfortable About Finances!

September 14, 2011

Last week, Andy and I had dinner with a group of acquaintances, and somehow the topic strayed into money, which I hate, because whether you have a lot of it or a little of it, I honestly don’t care. Unless you owe me some. In which case, please pay me.  Or buy me a few packs [...]

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Uncle Sam is a sneaky bastard.

April 15, 2011

Do you keep dead things in a jar? Yes. Yes I do.

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