I Read Books

So You Read Fifty Shades of Grey, Now What!?

May 23, 2012

So you read Fifty Shades of Grey. You had lots of sex…with yourself and maybe others. And now you have no idea what the hell to do with yourself.

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Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

May 14, 2012

Also, why was he not a hotter president, I could totally get behind him being a super hot tall guy who kills people with an axe.

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Fifty Shades Freed

April 11, 2012

Honestly, I am just glad this whole thing didn’t end with a half vampire baby with a stupid name.

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Fifty Shades Darker…and I have no idea why I’m still reading this either.

March 23, 2012

It makes me want to write a book about adults who are selected by lottery to go into this giant arena and kill eachother, but also have lots of sex. I think I’m going to name the main characters Juno Macguff and Ron Burgundy.

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Fifty Shades of Grey. Oh My.

March 22, 2012

In true EVERY BOOK BEING WRITTEN RIGHT NOW THAT MILEY CYRUS’ BOYFRIEND COULD POTENTIALLY STAR IN THE MOVIE VERSION OF fashion, 50 Shades of Grey features a lovely young woman with a overly dramatic name, that goes from tolerable to face punch in about five chapters.

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Mockingjay. Because what else do I have going on right now?

January 2, 2012

It’s like they plopped an angsty Angela Chase smack dab in the middle of a post apocalyptic society at war, and all she wanted to do was dye her hair with kool-aid and make her friends call Jordan Catalano and hang up when he answered.

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Catching Fire…aka Probably New Moon

December 29, 2011

(It didn’t work, but it’s totally fine, they let Taylor Lautner be the new Vin Diesel, anyway.)

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Hunger Games

December 28, 2011

Fun fact: Did you know there’s beaver anus in vanilla ice cream? I guess were all closer to Hunger Games than we thought.

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