Even Jesus thinks I am a douche bag

Why it’s so hard for me to be religious.

October 31, 2012

This is a personal issue I’ve been struggling with. And, by personal, I mean mine. I can’t possibly articulate, value or judge your beliefs. I can only wrestle with my own. There’s an old joke amongst former Catholic School attendees; you can tell who went to Catholic School because they’re all atheists now. Many of [...]

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Refinished

October 4, 2012

Where have I been? Oh you know, making furniture. Like Jesus. So, as you may remember, I’ve been a bit of a garage sale whore lately, hunting down some great wood pieces to refinish and introduce into my home in a way that says, hi, I’m super eclectic and artsy. Like if Zoe Dechanel and [...]

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Awkward, Dude.

September 13, 2012

I hope to see you at our next gathering, where White Russians flow like holy water.

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Things that are round.

July 26, 2011

I haven’t been able to shake my crappy mood lately. This Saturday I stood in front of a plastic card table, next a chubby old clown with blue frizzy hair, glitter on her cheeks, and bright pink lipstick on her teeth. On second thought, maybe she wasn’t a clown, but rather, a disoriented old lady [...]

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The Rib of Man.

July 14, 2011

This might be somewhat controversial, but as an amateur part-time scientist, it’s my job to, like, hypothesize and think about stuff that the average person may not think of because they’re too distracted by things like “debt ceilings” and “Google Plus.” Every week my church sends out a newsletter, basically going over what was covered [...]

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Can you make a circle of trust with only three people? Or does that just make a triangle of mental illness?

June 30, 2011

When we were younger, my brother and I took the bus after school to our babysitter’s house.  Her name was Brenda, she’d been doing this for twenty years, she was the meanest woman I knew, and we’d stay there until 5 o’clock Monday through Friday, unless something wonderful happened, like the chicken pox or an [...]

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The Marriage Sermon.

June 24, 2011

In order to get married in the Catholic church, you have to complete pre-marital counseling.  I think that’s pretty typical as far as religions go, this sort of antiquated attempt to prepare couples for the commitment, importance, and work involved in maintaining a successful marriage. Or as Catholics call it, this is how making babies [...]

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RAPTURE DRILL!

May 20, 2011

RAPTURE DRILL!

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Not given up for Lent? Shame and humiliation.

March 14, 2011

I have an unnatural relationship with Lent. Like, if Lent was a child, I couldn’t work or live within 100 yards of it. I don’t know what it is, there is just something about the fasting of Jesus Christ that makes fried fish so much better. I don’t eat it any other time of year, [...]

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Fish: Part 2

September 13, 2010

I know you are all wondering…what the hell happened, right?! Ok, so first, I know there was some confusion in the comments and in emails, mostly because I’m really bad at explaining things, and also, I am pretty sure I ate a psychedelic mushroom the other day, and it’s seriously messing with me and my [...]

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