I have gained probably 30 pounds since the very first time I wore a bikini on the internet 3 years ago. Writing a book can do that to you… I keep telling myself. You would think that would mean it’d be even harder to find one that I love and felt comfortable in… but the opposite […]
I woke up the day after Christmas, briefly forgetting that it had happened. That is, until I walked into my living room to find crap everywhere, empty wine bottles from the previous night’s celebrations all over the counter, and I turned on the news to promises of weight loss and finally, finally, being a less […]
Ladies, your husbands are emailing me. Repeatedly. You may or may not have any idea this is happening. It’s probably while you’re in the shower, or after you go to bed. Or maybe when you think they’re texting a co-worker on the couch, or in the bathroom on their iPads.
“You never call me anymore.” He said. “Yes I do!” “Um no, you don’t. It’s Wednesday and you haven’t called to bug me at work all week?” So, two things. One, he apparently only pretends to be annoyed with me, which only confirms my theory that my exasperating personality is a large part of my […]
This is awkward. I don’t want it to be, but it is. We’ve become the sort of friends that are only friends because we don’t know how not to be. After 13 years it’s not meaningful, it’s habitual.
I can’t sleep. That’s a relatively normal thing, really, as anyone who has gotten completely coherent emails from me at 3am can attest. I don’t sleep. I have the next round of edits due on my book in, ohhhhhhh, 13 days. I was recently hired by a morning radio show to come and chat every […]
Running the Curvy Girl Guide Community puts me in touch with thousands of brilliant women, and their equally brilliant platforms. In an effort to embolden and promote the powerful voices I surround myself with, I’ve developed a month’s worth of writing prompts for them (and you!) to explore and magnify across their blogs and social platforms. After all, […]
See this guy right there? That’s my dad. “Are you lonely?” “It’s been a lifetime of loneliness. I decided early on that I better get used to it. I go to movies by myself. If the movie theater is completely empty, I’m even happier. I learned early on that if I wanted to go to […]
There is a box at the very top of my closet full of photographs. Remember those? Archaic artifacts from a time when we needed our memories to be tangible and red-eyed. The box is deceiving. While the photos weigh mere ounces, the collection itself contains hundreds of pounds gained and lost and gained again. Glossy […]
First of all, if you came here via a search like “OMG SOMEONE STOLE MY PHOTO ONLINE!?,” this is awkward, but I actually have no real advice for you outside of procuring a lawyer and having them handle all the legal crap. Way easier. Also, maybe go see Maleficent twice in a 5 day span […]