Am bitter

When the Internet Steals Your Pictures

June 13, 2014

First of all, if you came here via a search like “OMG SOMEONE STOLE MY PHOTO ONLINE!?,” this is awkward, but I actually have no real advice for you outside of procuring a lawyer and having them handle all the legal crap. Way easier. Also, maybe go see Maleficent twice in a 5 day span […]

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Garage Fridge

March 13, 2013

This weekend we put a fridge in our garage. We have a garage fridge. Exciting, right? Okay just stay with me here, I have a point, let me muddle about to get there a sec. We put a fridge in our garage… and then I had an emotional breakdown. See? There’s the hook you were […]

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I am Santa.

December 28, 2012

Alright, who’s coming over to clean this mess up? I blame these heathens. On December 24th my house was Priest-clean (what’s that? Oh, click here.), but by 7am on December 25th it turns into a dump and I’m waiting for the Junk Lady from The Labyrinth to pop out all, what’s the matter, don’t you […]

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Current First World Problem

October 23, 2012

When my Dish Network goes out every time it rains, or, like, clouds appear.

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Work From Home?

September 8, 2012

(Disclaimer: I can’t watch that show because the mom is too heavy of a mouth breather, and that makes my neck hair stand up. Like nails on a chalkboard. It’s a hard limit.)

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2012: Things I am already pissed about.

January 5, 2012

4. No pop machines that takes dollar bills, even when they are super wrinkly and/or moist.

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Step 2: Ruining Your Life

October 14, 2011

For the life of me, I cannot remember at what age I first felt embarrassed by my parents. I feel like it wasn’t something I knew I was supposed to feel by myself, but rather, something someone else told me I was supposed to be feeling. Wanna ride with me and my mom for the […]

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And next thing you know, I hate my parents.

September 23, 2011

And next thing you know, I hate my parents.

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How I realized I am old, thanks Damon Wayans.

September 8, 2011

This is Damon Wayans Jr., as seen in the movie The Other Guys and that Happy Endings show they are billing as THE NEW FRIENDS – NO SERIOUSLY GUYS – THIS ONE IS GONNA PAN OUT, FOR REAL.

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The Most Productive Worst Day Ever.

August 24, 2011

I like to pretend that I am in charge of absolutely everything that happens in this house. With the exception of things that take place on the phone, like scheduling appointments or ordering Indian food, I have it handled. I plan the vacations, I pick out the furniture, I make the dinner. It’s partially because […]

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