Adorably Mental

Welcome to February

February 16, 2012

I’m like a bull in a china shop this week. I keep knocking stuff over with my actions and feelings and giant feet. I keep apologizing for things, and I think I am annoying people with my apologies, so I apologize again, and then they stop answering my texts and I’m like, where is everybody? […]

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Happy (almost) Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2012

Andy and I are not celebrating Valentine’s Day until tomorrow due to scheduling. But, that works out perfectly, because we are currently fighting over who does more around the house, and I really don’t expect this to be resolved until after dinner tonight. It’s just honestly much easier to fight with him face to face, […]

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10 Random Days of Amuse Bouche.

February 8, 2012

I am working on a post about my weight, and it’s shockingly difficult. Plus, I am hungry and craving day old birthday cake; I hate that we had all our kids in stupid April. But, I have been having bursts of brain activity in my own, personal built in tumblr site, Amuse Bouche, so I […]

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Metaphors get weirder after 2am.

February 2, 2012

I haven’t been sleeping well the last few months, and it’s driving Andy crazy, because when I can’t sleep, I feel like he should also not want to sleep, so he can talk to me about stuff until he bores me enough that I pass out. Andy hates this idea, mostly because he has to […]

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Beauty Marks.

January 18, 2012

I have been mole-y since birth. My arms, my shoulders, my legs, below my mouth, I even have not one, but two moles on my vagina. Which makes me special, right mom? I’ve only ever seen one, and without a mirror, I can’t confirm the second, though I’ve had various reports. It’s like the Loch […]

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Couches.

December 27, 2011

I consider anything over $100 out of my mental capacity to purchase alone. Computers, cars, houses, couches. There is this man in a short sleeved buttoned up shirt, the kind of shirt guys wear who never have to wear button up shirts, until they are suddenly faced with the need to buy something to wear […]

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Real conversation with my mother.

December 21, 2011

Mom: Seriously, who raised you?

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Haunted.

October 31, 2011

I grew up in the middle of the woods, also known as, the place where everyone fucking dies in every scary movie, ever. So, I never watched them. In fact, up until college, I had only seen one scary movie my whole entire life.  April Fools Day. And then, Andy tried to convince me to face […]

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Patriotic.

September 28, 2011

This is  a totally true story, though I changed the name of the person involved so I don’t get assassinated or my voter card taken away, if they even do that, I’m not sure, but I think really stupid people vote all the time, so I should probably be fine.  Plus, wouldn’t the REAL punishment NOT being […]

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Brittany Scouts

September 17, 2011

Which is why I would like to step in to mentor the youth left behind, lacking real and basic life skills, with a little organization I plan to call, Brittany Scouts.

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