I grew up in a time that not only had answering machines, but people genuinely missed your call and were eager to return it so they could speak to you with their mouths through a receiver. It was insane, but it’s all we knew.
I know, I just get back here and boom, I’m sorta gone again. But to be fair, I have a really good reason. My second novel just came back with final edits and I have two weeks to complete them and I need to breath into my paper bag.
I am one of those people who walks around this Earth completely terrified of my own body.
Someone just come over and put this damn Lunette menstrual cup inside me correctly. I don’t have the will to figure it out, internet, I just don’t. I tried youtube’ing it, but almost no one has a legitimate menstrual cup insertion video. They all puss out using champagne glasses or diagrams of the inside of […]
Bedtime is a crap time for me. I’ve mentioned this before, but I experienced a traumatic event when I was a little girl in which I woke up to find a man cutting through my window screen with a knife. That basically ruined the whole sweet dreams situation for me, and led to an elevated […]
Do you want me to stop? I blinked away the tears that seared the corners of my eyes. No, let’s keep going. Are you sure, we have a whole hour, you know. You can stop, collect yourself… No, I don’t want to stop. Okay, we’ll keep going, just remember to breath. In inhaled sharply, letting […]
I took a mental health break this week. I’ve never done that before, but the weirdest thing happened. Like, my body started to shut down. I was exhausted, my bones hurt, I got confused in the grocery store, my anxiety had taken over. I felt it rumbling around for a while now underneath the surface. […]
I feel like my personalities change with the seasons. Like, in the spring, Andy knows it’s time for Self-Reflective Brittany who wants to do things like try out a new religion or host an exchange student. I’m pretty sure Jesus was reborn during this time, so I’m like, let’s start meditating and opening our home […]
Did you know Louis C.K. has kids? He does, two small daughters, Mary Lou and Kitty. Why is that an issue, you ask? Oh, it’s not. He’s a brilliant comedian to whom I would give any amount of money to crawl inside his head for ten whole minutes and laze about on all his squishy […]
Sunday I fly out to Wisconsin, and thus starts the annual cycle of fear. I’ve talked way too many times before about my fear of flight, but it didn’t occur to me, until recently, how my fear of flight was effecting others. Color me selfish, y’all, but it turns out, people hate traveling with me, […]