Valentines Day: February 14, 2011

If you ever become a zombie, I won’t kill you at first, but I will lock you up and feed you all the people we both hate, until we run out of them and then, I will feed you all the people that only I hate and you feel meh about.   After that, you […]

Monkey: April 20th, 2008

Dear Andrew, Do you know how I know it’s time for another baby?  I start thinking about buying a pet monkey that wears diapers and plays with human toys. It’s monkey time. Love, Britt

The Hole: February 29, 2008

Hey babe- That hole in our basement, the sump pump thing, is that deep, or not deep?  Could something live in it?  I was just doing laundry down there and I think I heard a scratching sound under the lid!  It’s either an animal or a poltergeist, either way I don’t want to go down there […]

Guilt.: March 7, 2007

Hey sweetie, I really don’t want to go to the movies tonight.  I am just too pregnant and I will spend the whole time crawling over you to pee. I can’t sit on the ends because the floor lights are too distracting, plus my leg will go numb and then I will complain to you […]

Sick: March 25, 2005

Andy- I wiped my face on your face last night while you were sleeping.  HEAR ME OUT.  I did it because I am getting sick and I figured if you got sick, too, we could both take off work and snuggle.  Unless I have a fever and then you can’t touch me until it breaks […]

Pregnant: January 23, 2010

Hey Andy- How funny would it be if I was pregnant………………………………….with a baby!? Just kidding, make your dentist appointment.Love me.

Rhyme: October 15, 2009

Hey Andrew guess what!I have an idea, let’s invent something.  You think of the thing and I will work on a theme song.   “something something something, best friends forever, something something, best product ever…” Does it sound weird because FOREVER and EVER don’t rhyme as much as they are the same word? Keep me […]

Paternity: May 8, 2010

Gigi Sleeps

                Awww, look how precious she is! She looks exactly like me and that dude I slept with outside the DMB concert last year. Just kidding. B  

On Fire: March 9, 2011

ANDY! Why aren’t you answering any of your 300 cell phones?  Are you on fire?If you’re not on fire call me, I think I broke the TV.   -Me P.S. Be nice when you call.