Hey sweetie,
I really don’t want to go to the movies tonight. I am just too pregnant and I will spend the whole time crawling over you to pee. I can’t sit on the ends because the floor lights are too distracting, plus my leg will go numb and then I will complain to you about it for at least 80% of the movie, and then you’ll bitch the whole way home about how you just spent $8o for a movie you barely got to see and food I didn’t share with you, and then we’ll stop talking for the rest of the night, I’ll grow bitter, you’ll continue to spiral down into your anger, and we’re just that much closer to bringing this baby into a broken home.
Can we please just order Chinese and watch a movie at home with our own toilet?
No pressure from me or the fetus who totally already looks like you, and I swear I thought I heard him gurgle da-da in there this morning.
Love
brittany
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About the Author: Brittany
The Brittany Emails are my most favorite part of this site :) :)
heh.
Brittany guilts with style.
I bet you got to stay home and watch a movie.
ha ha that what i sound like when my dh wants to go to the movies!!!! thank goodness im not the only one :)
Every time I read these emails, I think they’re the funniest one yet….until I read the next.
I swear that I have not been to a movie theater to watch a movie in 9 years. Also, my husband and I have NEVER gone to the theater together. We have satellite tv. Why bother? Your own toilet, your own snacks…free. Ability to pull your pants off if you’re uncomfortable during a movie without people gasping or whispering behind you? You can’t get THAT at a movie theater.